Hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Hi
I've just got a new sponsor today
He is tough
He spoke to my mum
Because he gets my sickness
Co dependency
Addiction
Justifications etc
New hope
Still not well but tomorrow is another day!
I need to go to SAA and AA
I'm immature transfixed with the addictive effects of acting out
I'm trying I really am!
G
He is tough
He spoke to my mum
Because he gets my sickness
Co dependency
Addiction
Justifications etc
New hope
Still not well but tomorrow is another day!
I need to go to SAA and AA
I'm immature transfixed with the addictive effects of acting out
I'm trying I really am!
G
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Sad but true!
From tomorrow I won't be able to have internet access for however long it takes for me to be strong enough to be online safely.
It's a truth that I have to abide by.
I am a sex and alcohol addict
So porn is a no no
That's my addiction And I'm probably a love fantasy addict too.
For what a nightmare.
I will be able to post sometimes either from a library or my mum's house.
But if I'm going to break through to healthy living I have to get honest with myself about my illness.
I started using on solvents and porn when I was very young and as I've matured ( and I say that mature word very cautiously)
I've become more and more detached from reality.
Yes I'm articulate with words but emotionally I'm a drunken fantasist
Lonely and sad.
This new sponsor now has access to deep family violations of trust that I have severed.
I'll post back when I can.
I'm not a bad person or a criminal I'm addicted and I need daily healing.
I'm going to give it all I've got now to work the steps deeply as I can.
I need a spiritual transformation
God baffles me
But Power or self empowerment through accountability and daily action inspires me.
Be well everyone!!
G
It's a truth that I have to abide by.
I am a sex and alcohol addict
So porn is a no no
That's my addiction And I'm probably a love fantasy addict too.
For what a nightmare.
I will be able to post sometimes either from a library or my mum's house.
But if I'm going to break through to healthy living I have to get honest with myself about my illness.
I started using on solvents and porn when I was very young and as I've matured ( and I say that mature word very cautiously)
I've become more and more detached from reality.
Yes I'm articulate with words but emotionally I'm a drunken fantasist
Lonely and sad.
This new sponsor now has access to deep family violations of trust that I have severed.
I'll post back when I can.
I'm not a bad person or a criminal I'm addicted and I need daily healing.
I'm going to give it all I've got now to work the steps deeply as I can.
I need a spiritual transformation
God baffles me
But Power or self empowerment through accountability and daily action inspires me.
Be well everyone!!
G
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 32
Hi there, I’m Jacqueline.
Of course your not a bad person.
I think I have definite love addiction issues. I can relate to the fantasist as well.
The porn industry is a system meant to addict.
Just like technology, Amazon, everything we have we want more, faster, and the obsessions start and spiral
Your plan sounds solid and I wish you all best and sending you hope and love 🌷
Of course your not a bad person.
I think I have definite love addiction issues. I can relate to the fantasist as well.
The porn industry is a system meant to addict.
Just like technology, Amazon, everything we have we want more, faster, and the obsessions start and spiral
Your plan sounds solid and I wish you all best and sending you hope and love 🌷
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 342
Gosh
You guys soften my armour
Literally bring tears to tired distressed eyes!
I said to my sponsor earlier do not ever ever ever give in to me
I need firm zero tolerance sponsorship!
My addiction is relentless and I criss cross lines and boundaries left right and centre with every aspect of my life, I've been that way forever it seems to me.
My lust, my fantasies my unreality has been my God for such a long time. My brain isn't working properly in that respect, it's corrupted and I've done it to myself because it feels good temporarily to act out addictively.
Well tonight has changed something because my new sponsor averted a disaster and I humbly surrendered to his response to my feeble excuses to just let me have one more hit!
It didn't kill me to not get my fix!
I know I need a strong no BS man as my sponsor and I've finally found him now it's up to me
My violations are tenfold my burdens are heavy
The steps will address and reconcile all my pain if i work them with due diligence.
It's time for me to surrender to a program of honesty accountability and healing.
I feel a sense of relief but I know what I'm up against
I'm sick weak and powerless doing it my way
One breath at a time imperfectly but with a solid sobriety code of living I'm going for it now.
If I relapse again after my dreadful history of falling I won't make it.
This has to work now
Fatal progression is intensifying
Healthy progression is still in its infant stage but there is a way out thank God!!
G
You guys soften my armour
Literally bring tears to tired distressed eyes!
I said to my sponsor earlier do not ever ever ever give in to me
I need firm zero tolerance sponsorship!
My addiction is relentless and I criss cross lines and boundaries left right and centre with every aspect of my life, I've been that way forever it seems to me.
My lust, my fantasies my unreality has been my God for such a long time. My brain isn't working properly in that respect, it's corrupted and I've done it to myself because it feels good temporarily to act out addictively.
Well tonight has changed something because my new sponsor averted a disaster and I humbly surrendered to his response to my feeble excuses to just let me have one more hit!
It didn't kill me to not get my fix!
I know I need a strong no BS man as my sponsor and I've finally found him now it's up to me
My violations are tenfold my burdens are heavy
The steps will address and reconcile all my pain if i work them with due diligence.
It's time for me to surrender to a program of honesty accountability and healing.
I feel a sense of relief but I know what I'm up against
I'm sick weak and powerless doing it my way
One breath at a time imperfectly but with a solid sobriety code of living I'm going for it now.
If I relapse again after my dreadful history of falling I won't make it.
This has to work now
Fatal progression is intensifying
Healthy progression is still in its infant stage but there is a way out thank God!!
G
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