LaceMaker

And I hope it will be just that. There have been so many "day 1's" in my life, I've lost count, but I haven't lost hope completely.

I've been struggling with alcohol addiction for years. I've had periods of abstinence or minimal use, but wine has been a big part of my life for the past 9 years.

I'm a (very) high-functioning alcoholic, never hit rock bottom so to speak, but I've had enough. I've seen a counsellor, but realized that talking about my problem does not help. What I call "active abstinence" (=doing things that keep me away from drinking and remind me of who I really am underneath) does help.

I'm here for support and I hope I can be of help to others who need support, too. Thanks for having me!

PS: I used to have an account here but I've completely lost the registration email or the login details... I hope creating a second account is OK with the forum admins!

Dee74

Welcome (back) LM

D

LaceMaker

Thank you Dee!

Just to clarify my username: well, it stands for one of many things I want to be and what drinking is keeping me away from. I'm good at needlework and love it but getting sloshed every evening is not exactly conducive to making progress on a project... can't think why...

Buckley3

There's a lot of that here. Sobriety is a gateway to some pretty awesome stuff. Keep believing - as alcoholics many of us have been beaten down with cynicism and spiritual desolation. Doesn't have to be that way. Fake it 'til you make it type thing if necessary.

Sounds like you are coming out of denial. That's good, hard to really be honest about things otherwise. And honesty is a requirement.

No such thing. You're either an alcoholic or you aren't. Good that you haven't hit bottom. Very good. But if you're an alcoholic it's coming - not a matter of if, when. The timing and nature of the cycle varies from person to person. But it always follows the same pattern. For some the destruction happens every day. For others the cycle is weeks. Regardless, drink --> damage control --> drink repeats. It's only a matter of time before it wears you out and kills you. Days? Years? Decades? Sometimes I think the decades option is worse - less urgency until it's too late.

Lots of that here. Use it! It's been essential to my own issues...

Be well-

-B

Berrybean

Welcome back LM.

BB

Nonsensical

Welcome back!

I agree - talking about the problem has very limited utility.
Talking about the solution, however, can be very valuable.
Avoiding drinking can keep you sober.
Finding something that brings out your inner joy can build a happy sober life.

Best of Luck on Your Journey.

entropy1964

Welcome back LM. I knit and yes, drinking and knitting....not a good mix! I'm actually not sure I've ever tried.....

LaceMaker

Thank you all!! I'll keep my eye on the price from now on.

Buckely3 - by "high functioning alcoholic" and "not hitting rock bottom" I meant I have always been in employment, worked very hard, have had numerous appreciations etc. and I have never had a "typical" low point such as a DUI or an accident. I have had several very, very low points though, so I am in no way in denial. I am an alcoholic. I'll never be a normal drinker, but I can be a normal, sober person. And I will be, too, unless I have done too much damage to my body already.

It's evening where I am, and I've had a difficult, emotional day (grieving for my mother who I lost not long ago). I've decided to stay with another family member for a while instead of toughing the first days out all on my lonesome - sitting alone, resisting the urge to do to the store for a bottle. (This family member knows about my struggle and I have their support.)

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, LaceMaker.

It is great that you have returned.

Do you have a Plan for recovery?


There is a fantastic thread on the subject of Plans. I will post a link in a minute.

SoberLeigh

As promised:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...highlight=Psst (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

january161992

how are you today LaceMaker?

Clarksburg

Hi! I am going through something similar. I joined an outpatient therapy program where I get my urine tested every time I attend. This has helped me get started the first few weeks in sobriety. My insurance pays for it and the group therapy is very helpful. I was scared at first because I did not think my problem was severe enough (no duis, etc) and I saw a therapist. However, I am so glad I signed up!! After a million 1st days, I’m two weeks sober and feeling great. The group support and evening meetings keep me from drinking at night. I’m alone a lot since my son left for college. Drinking wine has been my hobby since my divorce 9 years ago. I was skeptical but now I see the value of outpatient treatment. It will keep my disease from progressing, Good luck!! You can do it!! 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼😊

Vandermast

Hi Lacemaker......welcome indeed.

I've had a few false starts too, however I remain committed in my recovery nonetheless.

I was a "high functioning" alcoholic til I ceased to function highly, it comes to us eventually.

Wishing you well in your commitment to sobriety!!!

Vandermast

MindfulMan

Yet.

Keep sober so you never have to hit any of those low points!