daredevil

I know that we’re supposed to share sincerely and extemporaneously at meetings, but am I only one who compares the quality of my shares with the shares of others?

DontRemember

I did..I'm a 'born salesman' and can talk for days..my brief 'history' of regaling my drinking days/tales are still 'fresh and popping' kinda thing. Then you have the guy that's 30+yrs sober saying the exact same thing at every meeting. Thing is..the reason I know it's the same,is that it caught my attention the first couple times when they were reaching out to me. I hope to be that old timer with the same boring 'stories' eventually.

Gottalife

There are gifted speakers. Some, like the circuit speakers, have such polished talks, humour and all, that I am sure it is at last in part rehearsed. Also some of the better speakers often refer to the Big Book to guide their talks. Whether it be a workshop, an institutional meeting, a public event, or a convention, speakers have a responsibility to carry the message in an appropriate way .

Of course we never believed that on my home town. We thought, when asked for a speaker, just send anyone who wants to go, and they are free to say what they like, off the cuff. God will keep it under control.

Well, if God wanted to get AA banned from all the local treatment centres, have them shut down our in house meetings and restrict access, then it all worked out fine.

There is a difference between a speaker and a share in general discussion. If I am speaking I am conscious of my responsibility to carry the message and will talk, with God's guidance, as much as I can, to the interests of the audience.

In a general share I will ask God to to help me say something helpful to someone else. I am never quite sure where those shares will go. If there is a topic, I try to stick to that, in so far as it relates to my experience.

Buckley3

Heh. No. There's at least two of us.

In fact, this early for me, I found that the meeting I went to woke the beast of my ego. I was constantly judging everything. I was largely successful in shutting it up and keeping my ears open, but it very much felt like I was poking the bear of my addictive personality. What made it worse is that a couple of the speakers really were boring and self-indulgent. But I keep telling myself that while that may be true, it misses the point I think.

You know, they say if you aren't getting flak you aren't over the target. I suspect that - maybe just maybe - more important than what anyone is actually saying, the fact that the process forces us to confront our judgmental selves is the whole point? That the fact that the process brings us face to face with the underlying issues in a very personal way is likely telling...

-B

Nonsensical

How do your shares rate on the 'dd share scale'? Will you make the playoffs? Are you well-positioned to win the Teetotalers Regional Sharers Semi-final?

AAPJ

For me personally the "best" or most inspiring shares do not come from the polished AA circuit speakers who can fill a big room. I think of them like a large national restaurant chain. They can be pretty decent but like the national restaurant chains food offerings the message they serve up is a bit packaged.

For me the best shares often come from:

1 - Raw newcomers. You never have any idea what will come out of their mouths.

2 - Humble oldtimers. Maybe I have heard their message 100 times but if it comes from their serenity filled heart I get a lot out of it every time they share.

Finally to address the original post, I too am concerned about offering "quality" shares. But I try not to overthink it.

entropy1964

Haha. No. I'm sure LOTS of people do this. I'm terrified of sharing so I generally don't.

daredevil

I asked this question at an AA clubhouse to a group of a dozen or so people and everyone had an opinion on the matter. I post this same question here, visible to so many more people, and there are 5 responses.

The irony in rigorous honesty!

daveglass1

But - Unless Ive missed the point - is it not just like the stuff we share on here?
I dont rate my thoughts against those of others. I use this as a discussion about chosen areas and just respect that everyone is entitled to a view.
What's this rating all about ? Are we moving towards a " Post Of The Month" award ?
I'd have trouble attending the red carpeted ceremonies as Im only off work about one day a week and the dog needs walking.
I have - undoubtedly - misread the premise here - surely.
So there's people who go to AA meetings and jot down scores in a little notebook ?
Regards
Dave 🤠

daredevil

Everyone who has ever been to a meeting and shared knows what I am referencing.

Gottalife

"is it not just like the stuff we share on here?"

Not in my experience. " Sobriety, freedom from alcohol, through the teaching and practice of the twelve steps is the sole purpose of an AA group"

In an AA group that operates by this tradition we will hear about member's experiences with all the steps, and how they have been applied in their lives. We may hear about the literaure also, and about how we made contact the god of our understanding and how our lives have changed as a result. The common problem and the common solution in fact.

Here is a bit different. We are all different so we don't have a common problem, nor do we have a common solution. Members often seek advice on life problems much like they might do with a sponsor or friend. Meetings are not qualified to give such advice. There is lots of opinion here, not always backed by experience. Professionals give opinions in their field, AA has no professionals in alcoholism, we share experience.

There is a heap of cross sharing here too, which is frowned upon in AA. I suppose it is justified because we won't get the opportunity to talk after the meeting. And we rely on the written word without being able to use our other senses to judge what the writer is really getting at, what their motives are, how their ideas are working in reality, or what their tone is. One person will find a post benign, another will take offense.

Just rereading my post, the cross sharing is justified because the OP usually posts something and hopes to get some responses. In AA we share and sometimes it seems like our words went off into the ether, like no one was paying attention. It wasn't always like that. It took a bit of getting used to when it changed.

daredevil

On the ‘dd share scale’ my shares are probably a 7-8/10;-) But I agree; in totality, it’s really of no significance.

There is, however, something to be said about doing the mundane well.

daredevil

This really stood out to me G; thanks for posting this.