sweetichick

I don't really believe in an intervention deity. My ex moved but I think it would just be that he drained me of money. I don't really believe it was God. It was just his second wife becoming involved. My sponsor doesn't believe I stayed sober for 9 days on my own by just distraction from the alcoholic voice. I can't do a meeting everydày. The horror stories give me nitemares. I have a house. Half the people in AA who I met were on drugs. My ex drained me of money. I am a binge drinker. I can't handle AA. I have severe anxiety.

daredevil

Step 2 of the steps has nothing to do with an 'intervention deity' SC; I'm not sure where you got that from.

sweetichick

Ok I have been listening to Joe and Charlie. I am a bit mad. Like they said. Maybe I have been listening to too much church stuff. God solves all your problems. Yeah right.

Gottalife

Sorry you are in a bad spot SC. And I quite believe what you are saying. I could stay sober on my own power for reasonable periods. I just could not make it last.
The meetings you are going to are not helpful either, always remembering that they are not the program anyway. If someone continually shares horror stories, it is usually becaues they don't know about the solution yet, so they talk about what they do know, which is the problem.

I go to meetings where none of that happens. They are literature based big book study and step meetings. At those we have no drama, no war stories. We have people who have recovered helping people who are sincere in their desire to recover. The drama queens stay away because they don't like to do the work. There is no room for their drama.

As far as drugs go, over prescribing of medication has become a problem in many areas. It is not that some folk don't need them, it is that a lot of folk don't need them but take them anyway as a means of avoiding the pain of life. Also, it is my understanding, that there are parts of AUS, and I don't know which, that have liberal cannabis laws which some AA mebers take advantage of. The war stories and the drugs are things you don't need, Those people cannot help you.

Try to get to a literature based meeting like a big book study, primary prupose group, or a beginners steps meeting. One of those a week, with some action on the program in your daily life, will have a much better shot at helping you recover than hundreds of the sick meetings you have been to so far.

sweetichick

Thank you that was really helpful. I don't need stories of men bashing their wives. You hit the nail on the head. Thank you

Dee74

Hi sweetichick - I think you need to simplify stuff.

In AA you're doing pretty well and have stretches of sobriety.

Without AA you flounder a lot.

I'm sure there are people at AA who own multiple houses and have never had a criminal record or been in jail.

Everyone gets shafted by this disease - young old rich poor, men women.

It's easy to focus on things we don't like.
I did it all the time and turned that into even more reasons for drinking.

To stay sober I needed to think of the reasons not to drink - and make my effort 100% in doing whatever it took to stay sober

It was hard but it was also kinda simple.

Don't buy alcohol, don't be around it, find support to help you stay that way.

When you got that down you can look at your life and decide what you need to do to be happy

D

nez

When I looked for ways that things wouldn't work for me, I easily found them. It took very little effort on my part actually, it was part of my personality and came very naturally.

Looking for ways things would work took a shift in my thinking, but when I did that, changes started to happen.

I had to open my mind.

Gottalife

SC, this is really serious. I was talking about it in another thread. When abusers or former abusers start talking those kind of specifics in meetings, they can re traumatise the former victims of such abuse. And some of these sick people seem to take a delight in trying to shock everyone.

I can only apologise and assure you that this is not what real AA is about. We have a message of hope. Through our program, those who willingly work it get to rejoin the mainstream of life and become decent, useful members of their communities including AA. We learn and practice respect, and we learn to get on in a considerate way with all around us.

In step four it talks about shaping our ideals in the context of how we relate to the opposite sex. Through practice of the program, many of us have become safe, considerate, kind, and trustworthy. We want you to get well, and that is our only motivation. There are people like that in AA. Sometimes they are a bit hard to find, but the study meetings are a good place to begin.

MindfulMan

Is it possible to go to a women's meeting?

sweetichick

Hi good idea mindful . This girl told this story about how her brother took to his wife with a machete and she was left for dead. Her skull had to be stapled back together. This girl blamed it all on him being drunk. It was even on the news on tv that's why I am treading carefully.

DontRemember

Sweetchick...I think you should pose this question in the alcoholism section. You seem to have been blaming this "ex" for a couple years now..I've been there with an ex....Time to own your own stuff though. If AA isn't working for me and I really wanted to quit drinking/drugging..I'd sit in AA and decide what that next 'path' was... just saying..it's on you and you alone.

least

Maybe you should get a sponsor and work the steps. That's the real program of AA, not just the meetings.

sweetichick

Dee how do I move a thread. I think I am past the newcomers.

Delilah1

Hi Sweetichick,

There are lots of great areas to post. You can join us on then24 hour thread, people have from one hour to double digit years sober, and the community is supportive.

It might be good for you to have the connection with the same people each day.

There is also the Under a year and over a year group.

I have over two years sober now, but still read and post many places on SR daily. I always read on Newcomers because I remember how helpful it was for me to have someone supportive in the beginning.

I'm sure you will find lots of places to post on here.

DontRemember

'cross post' or whatever the hell it's called and have them in both sections..you could also help a newcomer,dear. Seriously..and you never know if/what/which 'newcomer' can help you at a time of need.

Dee74

altho we can turn a blind eye sometimes for newcomers, members aren't supposed to cross post.

One thread will get you more responses than 2 identical ones.

There's nothing that says you need to post here in Newcomers sweetichick but I still do.

If you want to post in Alcoholism forum for example just go to that forums main page

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/

and do whatever you do here to post there.

D

tomsteve

My sponsor doesn't believe I stayed sober for 9 days on my own by just distraction from the alcoholic voice

maybe you did stay sober for 9 days that way, but how did you end up drinking again? to me it reads like no human power( including recognizing this AV thing) was able to keep you from drinking.

God solves all my problems, but not when i create them.
He helps me find the solution. i have to do the footwork.

Nonsensical

Your ex, your sponsor, half the people in AA, your ex's ex, nitemares, your house, and your anxiety can all keep you drinking, but God can't help you stop?

What will you do?
What can you do?

Bunny211

AA is not the only way.
I do AA but I only go to 1-2 meetings a week. I don't believe sitting in a meeting keeps me sober. What helps me is finding a passion, meditating, exercise and building a life I don't need to drink to escape from. These things take a LOT of time. It doesn't happen overnight. If you feel crappy in early recovery - you're supposed to. It is no picnic. I was an atheist and now I consider myself spiritual...I feel a connection to nature and the universe. But I went the AA route and never GOT a personal deity who intervenes in my life and solves my problems for me either. Maybe I'm not supposed to. I don't know. Also, there are LOADS of different types of AA meetings. And loads of different types of people in them. Some are nice people, some are not. Have you tried women's meetings? What helped me was finding older, kind women to have as mentors. Women in their 60s who have lived a long time and have some wisdom and a gentle heart and soul. But, you don't NEED to go to AA to stay sober. There are alternatives. I do hope you find what works for you.
XO,
Bunny