Sarahsays

I was really, really looking forward to this weekend but for some reason I've just been absolutely low. About as low as I was towards the start of this journey. It's almost like I've gone back to withdrawing just through emotional distress, I've been so tired just through feeling distraught that I ache and can't concentrate and feel completely detatched which is strange because I've not done anything different, like an emotional relapse without any warning. So yeah, it's pretty much messed up my weekend where I'd planned a bunch of things and was going to have a lovely time, because I didn't I feel bad for those who have been around me because I know I haven't been very fun. The best way I can describe it is when I've felt really unhappy I've felt trapped in my own mind and body.

On the plus side I think I'm around a month now... might have to double check but I'm sure it's close.

Anyway I haven't really been able to talk to anyone about this, although my loved ones are supportive of me quitting alcohol they don't really understand why I would be feeling bad after the withdrawals really, they're not mean about it or anything but to them it's like complaining about a hangover you had weeks ago.

Thank you for giving me a place to vent and I hope you all had a much nicer easter than I did.

Sarahsays

Hey it's a month as of ten minutes ago! =)

2ndhandrose

congrats on 1 month!!!

In the early days emotions can be all over the place. It definitely takes time for everything to even out.

Please be patient with yourself

MissOverIt

Congratulations and hang in there. I’m sorry about your break, super ******. I’m at 43 days and am still up and down but I hear it definitely gets better. I believe it too with how the changes that have already happened.

Perhaps regroup, lay low and focus on relaxing and self care?

Hugs!

Delilah1

Congratulations on one month!! The good thing about sobriety is we learn to deal with life, the good and bad in the moment. I was guilty of trying to drink away stress and worry, they were still there the next day. Now I face them head on, and deal with them with mindfulness. I try as hard as I can to stay focused in the present. I can't change my past, only learn from it, and worrying about what might or will happen doesn't help either.

You may want to look into some mindfulness practices, and add them to your plan, they've been really helpful for me.

Sarahsays

I've been trying to teach myself mindfulness, that and walking are really helping me, I've heard the effects of walking on your brain are similar to mindfulness, actually.

Sarahsays

I'm definitely trying to be more patient with myself and regroup from these days in a healthy way, just a little out of practice I suppose!

Berrybean

Aww hugs to you. I found a month in really hard as well. Washing machine head, despondent, so, so , so restless , irritable and discontent it made me rattle on the inside. I seriously thought I was going to go insane. And I couldn't explain any of this to anyone, because they just didn't get it. Gahhhhhhh!

For me, that was the point when I decided to give AA a shot. It was such a massive relief to talk to (well, mainly listen to if I'm honest) people who did get it. And who could give me some encouragement and tips based on their own experiences.

Please be assured that this WILL pass. Like a horrid black raincloud, it is passing over. You are not your feelings, so don't attach yourself to them, as dramatic and important as they might seem. Just watch them pass over. Acknowledge them. They're like trains coming and going, and we don't need to jump on every train that pulls into the station.

Also, really DO keep it in the day, or the hour, or the minute if its a really rough patch. Like it says on the AA Just for Today card..

JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for 12 hours that would appal me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY
Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will strengthen my mind.
I will study I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer.
I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will exercise my soul in three ways, I will do someone a good turn, and NOT get found out. If anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I dont want to do just for exercise
I will not show anyone my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will be agreeable, I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests, hurry and indecision.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour sometime, I will try and get a better perspective of my life.

JUST FOR TODAY
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.



You CAN do this. (And you don't HAVE to do it alone).

BB