fallingapart18

Hi to everyone!

This is all new to me. I have recently decided to be honest with myself and admit that I drink to numb myself, my brain, and my problems. I don't fit what I believe to be the definition of an alcoholic but I am learning that there is no clear cut definition. I have been trying to stop drinking, then cutting back, to realizing I can't do it by myself. Came clean to my family regarding my actual usage and reasoning behind drinking. Always told them it because I liked the taste, honestly I liked the numbness. Going on two weeks (tomorrow) of not having drop of alcohol and having a really rough go of it. Anxiety and stress are pushing me to the point of trying to revise my quitting schedule. Part of me knows it is problem and I need to completely quit (because everything up to now has not worked) but my brain is trying to convince me otherwise. Looking into getting some professional help. Checked out AA meetings (two different ones) and not sure if this is the route for me. I am hoping by joining this forum I might find others like me and success stories to keep me going on the quitting path. Look forward to joining this community.
Thanks!
Tara

Nonsensical

Welcome to SR, Tara! Congrats on 2 weeks. That's an awesome start!
There's a fancy word for that condition. It's called addiction.
I know. I was ate up with it.
You're in the right place.

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

teaorcoffee

Welcome.

You are doing really well on two weeks - the first part is really hard to get through. Have a look around and perhaps join the class of April.

You'll find lots of encouragement and advice here

DarklingSong

Welcome to SR. Facing the problem head on is a good start.....
Well done on two weeks.

PalmerSage

Good job on two weeks! Are you feeling better, aside from cravings?

nova84

Great job on 2 weeks Tara 👍 that voice you're hearing is the AV (alcoholic voice)...it will try many ways to tempt you to drink...don't listen to it. Wishing you well on your recovery journey 💜

fallingapart18

Actually not really or not what I thought I would feel. I thought I would feel like a cloud was lifting but I am realizing how much I used alcohol to cope and now that is gone the anxiety is hard to deal with. Trying to keep in mind it will get better. I need to find new coping mechanisms going forward.

Tara

Nonsensical

Sounds like you're in that zone that seems to make 'high bottoms' more difficult than they ought to be. You quit drinking and instead of immediate improvement you get other side effects (like increased anxiety).

My zone lasted a few months. That might seem long when you're at the start of it, but now that I am through it I can see it was a really small price to pay for my freedom.

Hang in there! Doing great!