froggle

Hi - I just joined yesterday at a low moment and posted about some of my experiences. Some responses advised that I attend some AA meetings. I have found one in my city that seems OK (I'm English but I live in Brazil; I'd find it a lot easier to communicate in English rather than Portuguese on this matter and luckily I've found a group that does this).

However, I've been looking into who AA is for and looking at threads about the term 'alcoholic'. I don't require a label but some people seem to indicate that AA is for 'true' alcoholics.

I don't drink every day. I sometimes go a whole week without drinking, sometimes even 2. My problem is that often when I do start drinking, I can't stop. I then also will take drugs. I also suffer from blackouts, often. I would estimate every other time I get drunk I will blackout and not remember long chunks of the night. Sometimes during this blackout bad things will happen. I used to get more angry/upset and cause arguments/cry but these days the biggest problem is I will have sex with someone and have no memory of it.

I also suffer major anxiety following a night of binge drinking, and it's a lot worse if I've had a blackout. I'll have obsessive thoughts and decide there are huge problems in all areas of my life even if there's no real evidence for it. I know drinking doesn't help because it's as if my skin is crawling from all the problems and as a few days pass, each day after I've stopped drinking the itching and depressive fog lifts a bit. Just in time for it to get to the weekend and me to think I'm OK to drink again!

None of my friends would say I am an 'alcoholic' and most of them just keep telling me to try and moderate. Evidence is showing that I can't do it. I aimed to stop blacking out for good this year. I've subsequently had sex and completely forgotten it 4 times...and it's only April. I clearly haven't conquered blackouts.

Could AA still be beneficial for me even though I don't drink every day? I really struggle to say no to going out/drinking when the invite does arise...and this is not the first time I've thought I should stop drinking (I've had thoughts about stopping drinking on and off since university - mostly because of the blackouts).

bradly22

There is the possibility that AA could help you. It really all depends if one is into that kind of thing. All I can tell you is that I found it to be unhealthy in my experience, but that isn't to say that it couldn't benefit you.

Bird615

Welcome, froggle!

I didn't drink all the time either, and friends would tell me the same thing you've been hearing about just moderating.

AA worked very well for me.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
That's it.

You don't have to call yourself anything if you don't want to.

tomsteve

this is the prelude to the 2nd set of sotries in the big book:

They Stopped In Time


Among today"s incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.

Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional serious episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.

Why do men and women like these join A.A.?

The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.
They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had them; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.

Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.

Therefore, these seventeen AAers and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."

biminiblue

Why don't you go to the AA official site and read the "Alcoholics Anonymous" Big Book. The literature was really helpful to me, as were meetings that focused on the solution, such as Big Book meetings and Step meetings. I no longer go to meetings, but the literature is still important and useful. It's a valuable resource.

Here's a link:

https://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/read-...lve-traditions

(linked by permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc.)

Berrybean

Yes. I think it would be helpful.

There will be people there who haven't drank for years. AA is about recovery. Learning to deal with 'life' sober. Its not just about stopping drinking. In fact, onky the first step out the 12 in the AA recovery program even mentions alcohol.
The 12-step program has been adapted for all kinds of fellowships. To be honest, I think it's a rare person who wouldn't benefit from it.

BB

orderfororder

You seem curious about it, so why not? Whether or not you are comfortable with the term "alcoholic", it sounds like you question your relationship to alcohol and how its impacted your life. Those are grounds enough to look into sobriety.

AnvilheadII

the only requirement for "membership" to AA is a desire to stop drinking.

Rar

Hi Froggle - you don't have to attach a label to yourself. All you need is a desire to stop drinking. Excellent advice here. Stay close to SR, read the threads and post when you feel like it. I practically lived on SR during my first weeks. It will help.

daredevil

Froggle,

For me, being around like-minded people, sharing my own experience with alcohol, serves to remind me that the consequences could have been significant. That reminder keeps me sober. As does being around other sober people, some of whom actually seem happy with life, and seeing that is always a good thing. Even if you go, and find it's not your cup of tea, at least you'll familiarize yourself with a sobriety resource.

KissMyTiara

I would say go and check it out. I went for about 30 meetings several years ago. I decided it was not for me, but there were many people there that it was great for.

Nonsensical

Zero risk.
Potentially unlimited benefits.

What is the hesitation?

DontRemember

I haven't been in a while,but I wish I had went when I first joined this site. If I had, I'm 90% sure I wouldn't have gotten a 2nd DUI and kept digging myself/others further down. Can't hurt to check it out...it's only an hour or so and if alcohol is causing problems in your life it's there for you. no matter how often you drink.

Anna

Froggie, I think you should do anything that might be helpful to you. I'm not an AA person, but many people find it beneficial.

Try to not worry about the label 'alcoholic'. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then the solution is to stop drinking. Alcoholism is more about what happens to you when you drink, rather than how often you drink. Alcohol turned me into a person I hated.

awuh1

The basic (first edition) text of AA states "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic".

I believe that the word "probably" is used in the quote above because it is important for each individual to label THEMSELVES alcoholic.

All the best to you. I hope you go.

Zebra1275

Try AA.

Dee74

Its not like they look the doors or make you sign a lifetime contact Froggle - why not give it a go?

D

Gottalife

Sure you can go to AA based on the above. This tradition says you are a member of you say so.

But I think you asked the wrong question. It should have been "Should I DO AA?" or "Do I need to DO AA?" That is because membership of the fellowship is not sufficient to get the real alcholic sober.

You don't want a label, fair enough, but if you don't know what the problem is with all its implications, then how can you fix it?

The obvious thing in your post is that you have no idea what an alcoholis suffering from alcoholism is. We have two basic symptoms common to all alcoholis and not found in ordinary drinkers. Loss of control, when we drink, and loss of choice when we try to stop. You have the loss of control.

If you are honest with yourself, you may see you have been unable to stop also. That makes you an alcoholic which means you are suffering from a progressive terminal illness that always gets worse over time. The only known solution is total abstinence. AA has an effective program of recovery for such folk, the 12 steps among other things can bring about permanent recovery if we DO them.

That might lead to two more questions. Do I understand my problem? and am I willing to DO what AA suggests in the Big Book?

If you have a solid yes to both of those, you will probably recover.

Gottalife

They even offered me a misery back guarantee if I didn't like it. I never took it up.

tomsteve

how goes it, froggle?