Sarahsays

So, I made a post a couple of days ago about how being nihilistic about my drinking, and my life revolving around it did, for all its other consequences, provide me with a way out of some of life's stresses.

And I was thinking about why this is. I think anxiety largely comes from uncertainty and when I was drinking my life was awful, but fairly certain and simple.

I think what I can learn from this is when it comes to worrying about the future, either in terms of the wider world or job prospects or whatever, that the most psychologically healthy thing to do is to narrow your focus onto what you can control. I can't make someone give me a job for example, all I can do is try my best and beyond that my worry is useless, same with worrying about society in general, I can't control these things, so worrying about them isn't doing me or anyone else for that matter, any good.

So if I can take one positive from my alcoholism, and I may as well because I've certainly taken a lot of negatives, it's that it's a good idea to keep your world in terms of worries, only as large as you can manage and is useful.

And I think it's an important thing to recognize because this change can be a shock and realizing you don't need alcohol to have a less anxious mindset is important, at least for me.

saoutchik

Amen to that, there was a similar post last week that touched on a similar sentiment, it was to just "do the next right thing" and not spend time looking for a comprehensive solution to all of life' problems.

Good luck Sarahsays.

DontRemember

I feel ya. My getting sober has changed my outlook on life. I was talking to someone yesterday about how I was 'taking today off from life' Been an insane week for me and I'm just not going to worry about a damned thing today! Whatever 'it' is I need to be doing can wait and the world won't stop spinning. If it does I apologise in advance.

Anna

I was a control-freak and when I stopped drinking, I had to understand that there was very little in life that I could control. I let go of so much and it was a very positive thing in my life.

nova84

The sentiment of your post reminded me of something I read a few years ago in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey) about our 'Circle of Concern' versus our 'Circle of Influence'. It was helpful to go back and revisit it to remind myself to operate in my CoI rather than my CoC...so thank you for your post Sarahsays 💜

PalmerSage

Love this! I frequently operate within my CofC with no regard for whether it's in my CofI...thank you!

Sarahsays

Yeah, I've certainly being trying to pull back from the control freak side of my personality since not drinking. It's quite hard to accept you just have to deal with that you have no control over so much.

Sarahsays

That sounds interesting I'm going to have to look it up =)

daredevil

Sarahsays,

The positive thing I learned from being an alcoholic is to focus on the positive things I've learned from being an alcoholic

entropy1964

Yeah its the 'better the devil you know' idea. Makes zero sense and I'm sure it's all AV but I relate. Recovery is new and unknown. But I guarantee a much better outcome than drinking!

The serenity prayer from AA pretty much sums it up.

D122y

Sara,

When i was a drunk i used the coc as an excuse to drink.

Once i learned i was drinking to maintain my damaged state i was able to work through the suffering of healing and rewiring.

I am cautiously optimistic about my new life of sobriety. I love that i can entry level thrive on sobriety w out drugs or the need for f2f support.

SR is my support. Thanks to technology i can get strengthened from my bed at 6 am.

I always have to remember it takes many years to heal and even then, relapse looms. I have to remember that i am irreversibly damaged from my drinking. I probably will never feel totally perfect. That is ok. I will take whatever God will allow.

It is a lifestyle change.

Even now i try to temper my temptation to make big changes in my world. I was a drunk for so long, i haven't had anytime to learn how to act as a sober person.

It is all still so new.

Thanks.

Newway7

Thanks for this topic and your posts guys, have had a great past few weeks but the past few days the negative "alcoholic-mind" typed thoughts have creeped back in and are trying to fight the change all of a sudden.

It's like as soon as I have a bad day or moment I start fearing the unknown - "see, you still aren't happy so what is the point", how ridiculous! Guess it's a reminder that that AV is still catching it's breath and ready to fight on!

Cheers to positive change. Happy Easter.

thomas11

Very wise thoughts Sarahsays. It sounds like you are thinking clearly. Congratulations on your sobriety.

Sarahsays

Thanks everyone, your comments have helped a bunch =)

JoeCree

I like to think that having depression/anxiety is actually a gift. In our depths of despair we also learn to appreciate the small moments of life as they happen. Have an ability to deeply connect with others with an astute understanding to feelings.
Most of us alcs stem from self medicating, perhaps why this forum has some of the nicest people around.
I rather think of the "normal" people as being the crazy ones, when you see how they live, fake banter, shallow talk, you'd be surprised to find out how many are empty.
Dont wish to be "normal". Embrace sobriety as being one hell of an exclusive club, with the worst initiation of all time.

Leftfield44

Hi all. Thank you for this thread. Quick question. What does AV mean? Thank you! 🤗🤗

Sarahsays

This is excellent =)

Sarahsays

It means alcoholic voice. So the part of you that tells you to drink, or you can just have one and it'll be fine etc.