azure808

Hi folks. Been a long time since I posted here. A lot has happened. I am grateful I am here and trying again. I have upped sticks, moved away to a different place altogether, gained a job I didn't think I would ever get. Put my whole past behind me , changed my number. Left my woman. Basically I have disappeared from my life. And I was doing very well as in months sober with a couple of relapses. The girl was great, I couldn't cope with it all. So I ran away literally. New town, new country, new temptations. Same me, same thoughts and patterns, same past. I feel utterly empty most of the time. New bars and all the usual temptations. Lonely. Excited that no ones knows me and I can drink.. The usual lies I tell myself. The usual people who crop up and want to hang out with me.
Feeling overwhelmed at the job and emotionally exhausted. Was suicidal after a bender and somehow managed to pick myself up. This was the third day on the job. Decided I had to reach out. Registered with a doctor and went to the drop in addiction centre. Joined a gym, and went. It is 4 13 am I feel I cannot cope and can't face work, people and the weekend. Had a few beers last night but nothing mental. Decided to come here. I need some help folks. I had shakes after last couple of sessions but I don't think withdrawl will be too bad. So I am hoping today will be day 1. I cannot do it myself my willpower is'nt enough.

azure808

I am freaked out that after a bender I ended it with the girl and changed my number. Just like that. Like I have blown up a building and just hopped on a bus.

Vinificent

Welcome back to the real world - we gave all been waiting for you. Stick close to SR...with time out from drinking you will feel better emotionally and physically. Let this be your last day one!

azure808

In floods of tears

azure808

Thank you. I have posted this on the newcomers page this may be wrong page. Not sure how to delete

Dee74

It's not the wrong page Azure.

Newcomers is open to all, even if you've been here before .

I'm glad you've decided to reach out and turn things around - welcome back

D

Kristin66

It’s a new day. This is a powerful and super charming addition..
Somebody told me once that you can drink tomorrow but not today.
It’s a funny screwy way to think but it helps me.

azure808

Thanks folks. I like that Kristin66

yinzer

Welcome back, azure. You’re in the right place.

Ekohe

Welcome back azure, you can do this.