brightlight

I wonder what all the hidden meanings are. Nothing seems to be the truth. I now think that was the whole plan anyway. He used to bring his check home with the check stub, but I noticed a couple of weeks ago that it was gone and asked him about it and we ended up arguing. He said I would get the next one. Well he got his next check and I had forgot about it because it is not a big deal to me, but after thinking about it I got mad. He went to pick his check up on his day off and was in a hurry because of a lot of things to do. He picked his check up, opened the envelope, tore the stub off, put the check back in the envelope, and came home with no stub. I never said anything, but the next day we were talking and I said so where is the check stub and he said I do not save those. I said, yeah but where is the stub? Why don't you bring them home? You do not have to save them when they are here, or do you think that stub will make the trash heavy? You have a habit now of tearing the stub off and cannot quit? You do not want me to see the stub? There is no stub? I want a reason and not that you do not save them. That was not the question. I did not ask you why you do not save them, but why do you tear them off? He says he will bring it home and now I want him to get a copy of the one from this week and he says he will, but he is acting like I am nuts for wanting to see it. He used to put his check on the counter and it was not even opened, but now he keeps his check in his wallet till time to pay bills and the stub is tore off. I know that most people will say he has other deductions that I do not know about, but I do not think that is the reason. I think he thought it would bug me or make we wonder and he wanted me to wonder. He says he has been doing it for a year and that might be right. Ever so often I wondered about the insurance or taxes and would go look for a stub and not find one and then let it go. Just never really cared, but now he says I do not trust him. Well the other day he ran over a guy. Yes he hit a guy with the truck, but the guy walking was drunk and did not want to call the police. My husband came in after hitting the guy and got something from the house and went to the store and back. Then said he was going to the bar. Never mentioned he just ran over a guy and sent him to the hospital. The guy was okay, but went to the hospital to get checked and the hospital called the police who went to the bar and found my husband and wanted to check out the truck, which was parked at the house. My husband was not at fault in this and did not get a ticket, but he told the guy that our insurance would pay, but our insurance guy said we will see. That is another long story, but when he came in our house his face looked like any other day and I do not think he would have told me anything about this if the police had not come to our house. I was on the porch and I heard him say to the policeman something about my wife. The policeman said she is on the porch. Maybe he still thought I would not know about it and could walk back to the bar after the police left, which he did after they left, but he knew I knew about it. Who could trust a person like this???? Who would want to??????? He is like some enemy instead of my husband. Nothing in our life gets taken care of, but now for the last week or so he has been trying harder, BUT HE KNOWS THE CHECK FROM THE WILL IS COMING SOON. Real soon. He thinks we are going to pay off all the credit cards and get a house. I cannot believe a think he says. I see sure that the credit cards will get paid, but I do not think he will try to buy a house. I am going to not pay the bills now. I think our paychecks should do that. If he keeps going to the bar and acting like he has been then when the money comes I am putting it in my own checking account and see if he thinks I am acting suspecious!!! He likes to act suspecious!!!! Yes I am acting different. I am mad! I also have a key to the mailbox that he does not know about. I think he is checking the mail more careful now and wants to make sure he knows when the check is coming. I am going to go get the mail before he does and bring it in and he will ask how I got the mail and I will say I had a key made. LET HIM WONDER WHY I DID THAT!!!! Weird, suspecious, strange behavior on my part!!! Spooky Yes this is stupid and playing games. I know he will not take the check and spend it. He will not go that far, but he would like it in our checking account and he pays off credit cards that are in his name. Not happening. I am staying married to him, but I am not going to let him do anything he wants and then even get paid for it. That money can stay in the bank forever if he keeps drinking. He does not know this.

Veronica

Just a thought - in most states, inheritance is not considered marital property unless the inheritor "gifts" it to the other spouse (i.e., if the inheritance is for you, the money is YOURS - not half his now or upon sepration/divorce, etc., UNLESS you "gift" it to him...by, say, putting it in a joint checking account.). Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to protect yourself and your finances.

rivercitybelle

I'm making the assumption that the check is yours. If it is putting it in a joint account can make it (depending on your state) community property or marital property. It's a smart move to put it in your separate account and transfer only what you need to any joint one.
A's quack. His goal was to get to the bar not having a conversation about the guy that he hit. Yes they do lie and money disappears never to be seen again from checks. You can't change that. You can do what you need to do to keep you and children if you have them safe and make sure the needs are met.
Al-anon meetings help, the boards here help.
Hang in there!

katgirl

I keep that money in a tight place.. from him seens like hes hiding something thats getting taken out of his paycheck .. who knows could be garishment .. child support .. who knows