New binge drinker here. Am I in the right place?
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 1
New binge drinker here. Am I in the right place?
I realize I'm the only one who can say if I'm an alcoholic, but it's hard reading all these posts and not finding something similar. (there are a LOT of posts to read, so I could have missed them...)
I binge drink. Maybe 4 times a year, but we all know I'm probably off on that.
But maybe 4 times a year I put myself at great danger, black out, drive under the influence, etc. Last Saturday, I had 4 beers that I can remember, and that's all I remember. I just don't feel like that's a lot, but I could potentially end my or someone else's life.
I ask these questions because I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not sure if I would fit in at an AA, or if I'd fit in here, or what. I *usually* have no problem turning down a drink...for example I'll turn one down if I want dessert, or if I want a fancy non-alcoholic drink. And if I'm with my parents or kids out to dinner, I'll only have one. But it's in the social settings...I cannot stop at one. Or maybe I cannot stop at 2. Whatever, I cannot stop. I want help, but I sometimes feel like I'm not "bad enough," or I won't fit in anywhere.
Saturday scared the crap out of me, so I'm good to not drink for a few weeks. And I can keep on that path for a bit. But I want to have that full lifestyle change, I don't want to just "not drink."
Does this make any sense to anyone?
Thanks.
(this is my first post, I'm not sure what all these things below my box means, but I'll figure them out. I'm just scared, nervous, and unsure of everything right now.)
I binge drink. Maybe 4 times a year, but we all know I'm probably off on that.
But maybe 4 times a year I put myself at great danger, black out, drive under the influence, etc. Last Saturday, I had 4 beers that I can remember, and that's all I remember. I just don't feel like that's a lot, but I could potentially end my or someone else's life. I ask these questions because I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not sure if I would fit in at an AA, or if I'd fit in here, or what. I *usually* have no problem turning down a drink...for example I'll turn one down if I want dessert, or if I want a fancy non-alcoholic drink. And if I'm with my parents or kids out to dinner, I'll only have one. But it's in the social settings...I cannot stop at one. Or maybe I cannot stop at 2. Whatever, I cannot stop. I want help, but I sometimes feel like I'm not "bad enough," or I won't fit in anywhere.
Saturday scared the crap out of me, so I'm good to not drink for a few weeks. And I can keep on that path for a bit. But I want to have that full lifestyle change, I don't want to just "not drink."
Does this make any sense to anyone?
Thanks.
(this is my first post, I'm not sure what all these things below my box means, but I'll figure them out. I'm just scared, nervous, and unsure of everything right now.)
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
If when you really want to you find you cannot stop entirely or if, when you drink you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. Control and choice are the only defining factors.
You sound like what we in AA might call a periodic or binge drinker. I was like that. I didn't drink all the time, thought the breaks between were much shorter than yours.
The difficulty for folks like you is you will have no problem racking up a few months sober, that is your pattern. In that time your thinking will go from frightened and concerend as you are now to "maybe I was making too bigger thing of this" to "maybe this time I will be able to control it." And the cycle will repeat. It happens a lot.
In a sense it is easier for someone like me because my mistakes and lessons happen at a faster rate. I find out much quicker what is essential for me to stay sober, and I suffered consequences on a more frequent basis. That beat me into a state of reasonableness.
You are right to be concerned. People die all the time from these sorts of situations, and we want to make sure you don't add to the statistics. I think that will take all the honesty you can muster around your drinking, and a serious commitment to staying sober through a solid recovery program.
You sound like what we in AA might call a periodic or binge drinker. I was like that. I didn't drink all the time, thought the breaks between were much shorter than yours.
The difficulty for folks like you is you will have no problem racking up a few months sober, that is your pattern. In that time your thinking will go from frightened and concerend as you are now to "maybe I was making too bigger thing of this" to "maybe this time I will be able to control it." And the cycle will repeat. It happens a lot.
In a sense it is easier for someone like me because my mistakes and lessons happen at a faster rate. I find out much quicker what is essential for me to stay sober, and I suffered consequences on a more frequent basis. That beat me into a state of reasonableness.
You are right to be concerned. People die all the time from these sorts of situations, and we want to make sure you don't add to the statistics. I think that will take all the honesty you can muster around your drinking, and a serious commitment to staying sober through a solid recovery program.
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