Day one
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 222
Day one
Lost count of the number of times I’ve posted that in the last year and not delivered.
I had a binge on Saturday night, an all nighter that resulted in me looking up my ex online and vigorously looking through her social media with anger inside me learning about how she’s moving on and how fantastically brilliant her life is these days presumably because I’m not with her anymore
Anyone who followed me from when I was in a relationship with her will know it was no picnic anyway, so I’m not sure what I’m hoping to gain from looking her up- the result is I’ve pretty much had a sleepless night. Prior to that yesterday consisted of me continuing to wallow in self pity, argue with my sisters and just mope around and curse my current life situation.
But that’s just it isn’t it? Cursing, sitting around, moping, pining for a dead end relationship that’s long gone. It’s not really getting me anywhere is it? Nearly a year now since I started drinking again- what have I gained? Yes, it is probably the case that she is moving forward. That’s not my concern anymore though and I’ve embarrassed myself in recent months by contacting her and ending up arguing and upset.
The bottom line right here, right now, is to stop this chaos by quitting alcohol now and committing to a long term plan of getting my life back on track. I’ve got fire inside me today, this day is different- I’m taking action right now and for every single second and minute of my life to stop this mess once and for all.
I want to also apologise for my conduct on the forum over the last few months it’s been a rocky year. I’m very grateful for all of the support I have received. It’s time to get into the real world now
So it’s day one
I had a binge on Saturday night, an all nighter that resulted in me looking up my ex online and vigorously looking through her social media with anger inside me learning about how she’s moving on and how fantastically brilliant her life is these days presumably because I’m not with her anymore
Anyone who followed me from when I was in a relationship with her will know it was no picnic anyway, so I’m not sure what I’m hoping to gain from looking her up- the result is I’ve pretty much had a sleepless night. Prior to that yesterday consisted of me continuing to wallow in self pity, argue with my sisters and just mope around and curse my current life situation.
But that’s just it isn’t it? Cursing, sitting around, moping, pining for a dead end relationship that’s long gone. It’s not really getting me anywhere is it? Nearly a year now since I started drinking again- what have I gained? Yes, it is probably the case that she is moving forward. That’s not my concern anymore though and I’ve embarrassed myself in recent months by contacting her and ending up arguing and upset.
The bottom line right here, right now, is to stop this chaos by quitting alcohol now and committing to a long term plan of getting my life back on track. I’ve got fire inside me today, this day is different- I’m taking action right now and for every single second and minute of my life to stop this mess once and for all.
I want to also apologise for my conduct on the forum over the last few months it’s been a rocky year. I’m very grateful for all of the support I have received. It’s time to get into the real world now
So it’s day one
Stew -- you sound determined to feel better, and I hope you just keep looking forward to the next hour, the next day, and eventually the day after that. Because forward is the only direction we have; looking back and feeling sad leads us nowhere, man. Well, nowhere good, anyway!
Keep your eyes and your head and your heart pointed in the right direction. You're headed for a great day one of many...
Keep your eyes and your head and your heart pointed in the right direction. You're headed for a great day one of many...
The bottom line right here, right now, is to stop this chaos by quitting alcohol now and committing to a long term plan of getting my life back on track. I’ve got fire inside me today, this day is different- I’m taking action right now and for every single second and minute of my life to stop this mess once and for all.
So it’s day one
So it’s day one
I hope you keep this attitude!! You deserve to move on and be happy too. Everyone makes mistakes. You can learn from them or keep punishing yourself for them. The choice is yours. Give yourself forgiveness and let it go. work your plan.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 222
Got first lot of cravings - intense - going to get something to eat and some water. Usually on a Monday I play football and then drink afterwards on my own. Instead of that, I’m going to my sisters house
I’ve got to change the routine, start getting rid of the old patterns. Will post again later
It’s ok to feel upset about breaking up isn’t it? There’s nothing wrong with my mindset that I have to throw 10 pints of beer at it
I’ve got to change the routine, start getting rid of the old patterns. Will post again later
It’s ok to feel upset about breaking up isn’t it? There’s nothing wrong with my mindset that I have to throw 10 pints of beer at it
Got first lot of cravings - intense - going to get something to eat and some water. Usually on a Monday I play football and then drink afterwards on my own. Instead of that, I’m going to my sisters house
I’ve got to change the routine, start getting rid of the old patterns. Will post again later
I’ve got to change the routine, start getting rid of the old patterns. Will post again later
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Grieving the loss of a relationship is normal and expected. When I was drinking at my ex I never allowed myself to grieve. I was just drunk and sulking. Replaying MY version and the "what if's". Turns out I stayed stuck,almost waiting for the return of the toxicity,drunk. Once I got sober I was able to see/know what was/is at face value. Not good for her or I anymore. Too much resentment and no trust on both sides.. My ex has also moved on(apparently had him lined up/cheating) and appears happy on social media(who doesn't?), so I've heard. I'm still single and working on my life. I'm present to have a healthy relationship with my daughter(22),which I wasn't really there 100% for her while drinking. I hope my ex is happy..she can kiss my ass,but I really hope she's happy.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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That’s very much like my situation don’t remember. I’ve drank at it for a year straight with no gains whatsoever.
I have a smart meeting on Wednesday to go to. I didn’t go last week. I was too embarrassed to turn up when I’d binged the whole week through
I think when I saw her profile online it wasn’t really jealousy as I’m not that type. It was more looking at it and seeing she’s moving forward and that I’ve been stuck fast in this horrible routine
I have a smart meeting on Wednesday to go to. I didn’t go last week. I was too embarrassed to turn up when I’d binged the whole week through
I think when I saw her profile online it wasn’t really jealousy as I’m not that type. It was more looking at it and seeing she’s moving forward and that I’ve been stuck fast in this horrible routine
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
That’s very much like my situation don’t remember. I’ve drank at it for a year straight with no gains whatsoever.
I have a smart meeting on Wednesday to go to. I didn’t go last week. I was too embarrassed to turn up when I’d binged the whole week through
I think when I saw her profile online it wasn’t really jealousy as I’m not that type. It was more looking at it and seeing she’s moving forward and that I’ve been stuck fast in this horrible routine
I have a smart meeting on Wednesday to go to. I didn’t go last week. I was too embarrassed to turn up when I’d binged the whole week through
I think when I saw her profile online it wasn’t really jealousy as I’m not that type. It was more looking at it and seeing she’s moving forward and that I’ve been stuck fast in this horrible routine
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
A buddy of mine just now sent me this... weird timing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USsqkd-E9ag
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