Sometimes it all seems surreal ... the Tale of the Unpaid Optometrist
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Sometimes it all seems surreal ... the Tale of the Unpaid Optometrist
This afternoon, Kid and I were out of the house because I was concerned about alcoholic ex's statements that he was coming to my place to get Kid whether I liked it or not (I won't rehash the backstory - alcoholism/mental illness, delusions and seizures, downward spiral, court order on parenting, craziness, etc).
So we were taking care of a few errands. One of them was to get Kid's glasses adjusted. We went to the optometrist where her glasses had been purchased by her father in December - or so we thought. When I gave Kid's name, the optician looked really awkward. It turns out there was a note on her file - when ex had picked up the glasses in December, he hadn't paid for them. He had ordered them and gotten the lenses fitted, but when he picked them up he left without paying (came in on a Saturday morning when they were at their busiest and just walked out - sort of like dine-and-dash). In some parts of the world, this is called "stealing". He didn't respond to calls about payment.
I paid for the glasses of course - my insurance covers most of it but there's about $200 out-of-pocket (he picked out some fancy frames). My guess is that he didn't have the $200 - but rules about paying for things are for the little people, he was entitled to those glasses, so he just took them.
Kid was pretty mortified. The only bright side is that she got (another) firsthand experience of the reasons why I don't trust her father, coming from complete strangers rather than her (probably biased) mother.
As for me, it feels like I can't get away from ex. He is now haunting optometrists' offices, as well as sitting outside my building texting me about how he must see Kid and I am going to go to jail for denying him.
So we were taking care of a few errands. One of them was to get Kid's glasses adjusted. We went to the optometrist where her glasses had been purchased by her father in December - or so we thought. When I gave Kid's name, the optician looked really awkward. It turns out there was a note on her file - when ex had picked up the glasses in December, he hadn't paid for them. He had ordered them and gotten the lenses fitted, but when he picked them up he left without paying (came in on a Saturday morning when they were at their busiest and just walked out - sort of like dine-and-dash). In some parts of the world, this is called "stealing". He didn't respond to calls about payment.
I paid for the glasses of course - my insurance covers most of it but there's about $200 out-of-pocket (he picked out some fancy frames). My guess is that he didn't have the $200 - but rules about paying for things are for the little people, he was entitled to those glasses, so he just took them.
Kid was pretty mortified. The only bright side is that she got (another) firsthand experience of the reasons why I don't trust her father, coming from complete strangers rather than her (probably biased) mother.
As for me, it feels like I can't get away from ex. He is now haunting optometrists' offices, as well as sitting outside my building texting me about how he must see Kid and I am going to go to jail for denying him.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
I sure hope you’re keeping records and screenshots of his insane texts to your child that should get you a RO against him. Him being suicidal and insanely jealous and trying to force you to “produce” said child is grounds for a murder-suicide to get back at you, IMO. Have you pursued this? I apologize if you have already covered this.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Originally Posted by hearthealth 
Karma for ex. Another piece of evidence for your lawyer.
And I promise that this won't go on forever. Although it sure probably feels as if it will right now.
Monday court date.
Keep documenting.
The time will come when you will be able to file for sole custody and a restraining order. Then you won't have to deal with him again unless and until he finally gets help.
Hang in there!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
LOL..My exah in his "functioning days" took my dd to swim lessons twice a week for 3 months. I gave him the money to pay upfront. It was only after the fact, ages later, I discovered from a red faced receptionist that my next child who wanted lessons could not have them until I had paid the outstanding bill. exah had not paid ..not even for one. No prizes for guessing where the money went? They are a nightmare. ((hugs))
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
So... your child needed glasses and her father took the money for what is basically a medical device that she needed and spent it on booze/drugs. Yuck. I hope Kid sees it that way because you're not the crazy parent, he is. He is the crazy parent. Poor Kid. How embarrassing for both of you. Keep on filing away the evidence on his craziness for when you need it!
I'll tell you a morbid story:
Once, we needed to pay for a medicine for someone who was dependent on us (not Kid, but someone else who was sickly). I gave AH the money to pay for the medicine as he was going to the clinic to pick it up. When he came back, he said that he didn't have change because they had "raised the price of the medicine". I asked if he had asked why they had "raised the price". He said that that would be embarrassing... and then he ignored me and went to drug himself. So the next time we went to the clinic, I said, you should really ask them about this price business. So he went up to the nurse, got in her face, and said, why is this price raised? The nurse said, that's just the way it is... that's the price. Then he loudly said, "Did you hear that Okatz? Did you hear what she said? Did you HEAR what she SAID?!?!" He was in her face and shouting... in... her... face: "Okatz, what did she just say? Did you hear it?!?!" I was so humiliated the only thing I could say was "umm.... yes". The nurse was intimidated and wanted us to both leave. The next time he said he didn't have change... I just let it go. I was an ATM machine, clearly. He probably spent the money on dope and the medicine was the price it always was ("that's just the way it is... that's the price"). Now that I've gone "no contact" on my ex, the staff at the clinic are a lot nicer to me... probably because they don't have to see him anymore.
I'm so sorry you have to raise a child with her selfish father. I only hope that with enough time she will see what a great mama you are for protecting her... and for allowing your ex to be responsible for his own choices.
I'll tell you a morbid story:
Once, we needed to pay for a medicine for someone who was dependent on us (not Kid, but someone else who was sickly). I gave AH the money to pay for the medicine as he was going to the clinic to pick it up. When he came back, he said that he didn't have change because they had "raised the price of the medicine". I asked if he had asked why they had "raised the price". He said that that would be embarrassing... and then he ignored me and went to drug himself. So the next time we went to the clinic, I said, you should really ask them about this price business. So he went up to the nurse, got in her face, and said, why is this price raised? The nurse said, that's just the way it is... that's the price. Then he loudly said, "Did you hear that Okatz? Did you hear what she said? Did you HEAR what she SAID?!?!" He was in her face and shouting... in... her... face: "Okatz, what did she just say? Did you hear it?!?!" I was so humiliated the only thing I could say was "umm.... yes". The nurse was intimidated and wanted us to both leave. The next time he said he didn't have change... I just let it go. I was an ATM machine, clearly. He probably spent the money on dope and the medicine was the price it always was ("that's just the way it is... that's the price"). Now that I've gone "no contact" on my ex, the staff at the clinic are a lot nicer to me... probably because they don't have to see him anymore.
I'm so sorry you have to raise a child with her selfish father. I only hope that with enough time she will see what a great mama you are for protecting her... and for allowing your ex to be responsible for his own choices.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
