4MyMel

This week was really tough. I've been sober since August 21, 2017. I spent August - December in an outpatient online recovery program. That program ended around Christmas. I shifted my focus to training for a half marathon since then. My race was this past Sunday. I think the structure of training kept me in line. This week, I have been recovering, not exercising much and eating more. The frustration of not being able to train, plus the fact that I'm eating more and not exercising leads me to a fear of weight gain, has given me some anxiety and I have had a number of days this week where I wanted to drink. I even had it all planned out and almost convinced myself it was a good idea. Just one day, just a little, I deserve it.

I know that this is my history of an eating disorder looming a little bit. On top of a divergence from my regular schedule which makes me uncomfortable. I find it scary my first thought went to alcohol. I know I can't drink and run, but if I'm not running, why not drink.

I am trying to find ways to manage this better. I just feel a loss of control this week. But, I survived. I did not drink, even though I still want to. I ate too much Monday and Tuesday (which wreaks havoc on my mental health) but got myself together Wednesday. I am feeling better physically so that I am going to try a run on Sunday and hopefully can start building my miles up again.

It still bothers me that I can be shaken so easily. I know it's because I put too much pressure on myself.

J50

Congrats on your sobriety and completing a half marathon. Both are impressive feats!

Have you looked into counseling as part of recovery to address some of these underlying issues?

Dee74

Hi 4Mymel
I think a good recovery action plan has mnore than one focus - exercise is great but what happens if you injure yourself dor example?

Thee are some great ideas here that could help you build a stronger better plan

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

Congrats on your sober time

D

4MyMel

Thanks for the resources. I'm still feeling the desire to drink. It's been unsettling.