Just when I thought I was safe
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Just when I thought I was safe
Sigh. What a stupid day. And I'm really just venting here....but I thought maybe i should get this out. Jeez, it's really so stupid. But ya know, at least for me, it's stupid shlit that can really throw me.
So I'm a widow. I don't have a man around the house. It's just me and my girl. The chick house. Well the chick house has decided to have a lot of decidedly unchick friendly problems. Stuff that requires work gloves, tools....power tools at that, ladders, things that require goo....like caulk. Yuck. I am a girly girl. Ok I'm not a total wuss, but, well you get the picture. Things that kill yucky creatures. Anyway, I'm babbling.
Today I hired a guy to fix a bunch of water damage.. Anyway, the gd HOA 'architectural committee' is doing some random gd drive thru in my development and OMG what is she doing? So I tell them it's nothing major....just replacing the crap material the gd house was built with. Yadda yadda. Literally, it's two ladies and two men in their gd Lexus, uptight mfs with nothing better to do (probably not much older than I)
giving poor people like me (ok that was my AV) a hard time. They were bitchy and irritating and I wanted to bash their heads in (ok that might have been my AV again). So I mention I'm getting a new roof. Now, the gd mf-en roof I'm putting on is a huge upgrade to the shite that is currently there. It's been stressful and challenging getting it covered by insurance, getting the roofer in line, it's finally all scheduled to be done, while I'm on vacation, and the uptight gd mf-ers throw a gd fit and tell me ' oh no you have to do this and this and this and this'.......wtf? So as I'm mentally gutting this little sob and frying the mf in the Lexus with my laser eyes....I'm just smiling. They drive off. I keep my cool, print off all the gd mf forms. Send them all off. Get the gd mf permit that NO ONE EVER GETS. And then they say.....could be 30 days. So I call my roofer, tell him the gd mf-en story. He says , no prob, let me know.
So what's the big deal right? This is shlit that is out of my control. It's ok. It'll be fine. Then why the cluck am I so worked up? Cause I'm out of control. Cause my plan is hosed. Cause some irritating little mfs told me NO. But ya know, thems the rules . The rules apply to me. And really, it's a pain. But what the hell is really gonna happen, it'll work out, like back my gd mf-en bus up right?
Man and to think I let shlit like this make me crazy all day long, all the time. Oh man I don't miss being a horses ass all the time, what did I learn today? Unless my arm is on fire or there's a cougar trying to maul me, just calm the fluck down,
Rant over, I feel better. Now I'm going to work on my gd mf-en knitting.
There's probably a million typos in this but I don't give a flying fluck.
So I'm a widow. I don't have a man around the house. It's just me and my girl. The chick house. Well the chick house has decided to have a lot of decidedly unchick friendly problems. Stuff that requires work gloves, tools....power tools at that, ladders, things that require goo....like caulk. Yuck. I am a girly girl. Ok I'm not a total wuss, but, well you get the picture. Things that kill yucky creatures. Anyway, I'm babbling.
Today I hired a guy to fix a bunch of water damage.. Anyway, the gd HOA 'architectural committee' is doing some random gd drive thru in my development and OMG what is she doing? So I tell them it's nothing major....just replacing the crap material the gd house was built with. Yadda yadda. Literally, it's two ladies and two men in their gd Lexus, uptight mfs with nothing better to do (probably not much older than I)
giving poor people like me (ok that was my AV) a hard time. They were bitchy and irritating and I wanted to bash their heads in (ok that might have been my AV again). So I mention I'm getting a new roof. Now, the gd mf-en roof I'm putting on is a huge upgrade to the shite that is currently there. It's been stressful and challenging getting it covered by insurance, getting the roofer in line, it's finally all scheduled to be done, while I'm on vacation, and the uptight gd mf-ers throw a gd fit and tell me ' oh no you have to do this and this and this and this'.......wtf? So as I'm mentally gutting this little sob and frying the mf in the Lexus with my laser eyes....I'm just smiling. They drive off. I keep my cool, print off all the gd mf forms. Send them all off. Get the gd mf permit that NO ONE EVER GETS. And then they say.....could be 30 days. So I call my roofer, tell him the gd mf-en story. He says , no prob, let me know.
So what's the big deal right? This is shlit that is out of my control. It's ok. It'll be fine. Then why the cluck am I so worked up? Cause I'm out of control. Cause my plan is hosed. Cause some irritating little mfs told me NO. But ya know, thems the rules . The rules apply to me. And really, it's a pain. But what the hell is really gonna happen, it'll work out, like back my gd mf-en bus up right?
Man and to think I let shlit like this make me crazy all day long, all the time. Oh man I don't miss being a horses ass all the time, what did I learn today? Unless my arm is on fire or there's a cougar trying to maul me, just calm the fluck down,
Rant over, I feel better. Now I'm going to work on my gd mf-en knitting.
There's probably a million typos in this but I don't give a flying fluck.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Lmao! Great read. Sorry you got so worked up. I think there's some gd uptight Lexus driving mfs in everyone's life. I wish I had me some laser eyes to fry some mfs with. 
Glad your rant helped to make you feel better. Hope the rest of your week goes better.
Glad your rant helped to make you feel better. Hope the rest of your week goes better.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
Excellent rant, related with your usual luminous style and flair. Must be something in the air, as I had one of those kind of days too.
More importantly: you dealt with a potentially perilous scenario in exactly the right way by practicing the principles of recovery, and you preserved your sobriety. Right on!
More importantly: you dealt with a potentially perilous scenario in exactly the right way by practicing the principles of recovery, and you preserved your sobriety. Right on!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I love this story. Love love it.
I was on the mf-en HOA Board. I suggest you take one of those positions for a term. It'll change you - and NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
So much I now know that I really wish I didn't. Alcoholic Board members who can't remember from one day to the next what we decided and who go all John Wayne-Big Ego on us. Stuff I know about my creepy neighbors that I didn't want to know. I'm in a condo, sounds like you're detached so that's a bit better. You don't have to worry about the hoarder downstairs who might burn the place down, or the other hoarder next to her who let a plumbing leak go for six years until the mold and the cracked concrete slab forced the issue. Or the crazy squatter who broke down a door to get into a vacant unit that was in foreclosure and who we had to evict, at a cost of $90,000. Or the one lady who threatens to sue about sixty times a year. Or the couple with three little terriers in a little fenced corral in the living room, peeing and pooing on the floor while the humans are at work and it going into the unit below. Or the - I don't know - five or six water heaters that blew causing insurance claims and lawyers and po'd downstairs neighbors. Or the heroin addict who dies in a unit and is in there with a needle in his arm for two weeks until his family breaks down the door. Or the guy with the pit bull who won't get rid of it and all the neighbors are threatening to sue. It goes on and on.
You'd like it.
We only have 40 units.
Wait. This IS the rant thread, isn't it?
I was on the mf-en HOA Board. I suggest you take one of those positions for a term. It'll change you - and NOT IN A GOOD WAY.
So much I now know that I really wish I didn't. Alcoholic Board members who can't remember from one day to the next what we decided and who go all John Wayne-Big Ego on us. Stuff I know about my creepy neighbors that I didn't want to know. I'm in a condo, sounds like you're detached so that's a bit better. You don't have to worry about the hoarder downstairs who might burn the place down, or the other hoarder next to her who let a plumbing leak go for six years until the mold and the cracked concrete slab forced the issue. Or the crazy squatter who broke down a door to get into a vacant unit that was in foreclosure and who we had to evict, at a cost of $90,000. Or the one lady who threatens to sue about sixty times a year. Or the couple with three little terriers in a little fenced corral in the living room, peeing and pooing on the floor while the humans are at work and it going into the unit below. Or the - I don't know - five or six water heaters that blew causing insurance claims and lawyers and po'd downstairs neighbors. Or the heroin addict who dies in a unit and is in there with a needle in his arm for two weeks until his family breaks down the door. Or the guy with the pit bull who won't get rid of it and all the neighbors are threatening to sue. It goes on and on.
You'd like it.
We only have 40 units.
Wait. This IS the rant thread, isn't it?
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Bimini.
Wow.
Just. Wow.
Fricka, no one that I know like the HOAs in their lives.
And, yes, they can be overbearing.
But.....here’s my take.
I live in a detached dwelling in a small neighborhood where all of the houses are less than 20 years old.
Nice houses, too. Mine is a small Cape, easily the littlest house among the mini mansions.
Nice, right?
Well, my immediate neighbor is, shall we say, neatness challenged.
His drive and side yard were, up until a month or so ago, littered with car bodies, small propane tanks, discarded appliances, and other flotsam.
We have spoken to him about it several times, to no effect.
Finally, we planted, at some expense, a wall of western red cedars that will grow fast and block our view.
He got a big dumpster recently, and filled that puppy to the brim.
But there is still a lot of c**p there.
Man, I wish we had an HOA. If we had, it never would have gotten as bad as it did.
I wouldn’t even mind the Lexus.
Wow.
Just. Wow.
Fricka, no one that I know like the HOAs in their lives.
And, yes, they can be overbearing.
But.....here’s my take.
I live in a detached dwelling in a small neighborhood where all of the houses are less than 20 years old.
Nice houses, too. Mine is a small Cape, easily the littlest house among the mini mansions.
Nice, right?
Well, my immediate neighbor is, shall we say, neatness challenged.
His drive and side yard were, up until a month or so ago, littered with car bodies, small propane tanks, discarded appliances, and other flotsam.
We have spoken to him about it several times, to no effect.
Finally, we planted, at some expense, a wall of western red cedars that will grow fast and block our view.
He got a big dumpster recently, and filled that puppy to the brim.
But there is still a lot of c**p there.
Man, I wish we had an HOA. If we had, it never would have gotten as bad as it did.
I wouldn’t even mind the Lexus.
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
That was a great rant Frick 
yep.
I've had those days.
Breathe (swear some more, under your breath or really loud, whatever you need) clap yourself on the back.
You handled it like a warrior.
yep. I've had those days.
Breathe (swear some more, under your breath or really loud, whatever you need) clap yourself on the back.
You handled it like a warrior.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Nice one Frick!
These people get a little big of power and think they are god.
It is what it is, they will be out of your hair and the roof will get done.
I’m a builder/joiner, procedure can be tedious to navigate at times to say the least.
Well done on the record count of expletives in your rant
These people get a little big of power and think they are god.
It is what it is, they will be out of your hair and the roof will get done.
I’m a builder/joiner, procedure can be tedious to navigate at times to say the least.
Well done on the record count of expletives in your rant
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
They become giddy when they know they can make you squirm.
That's exactly it. I mean, if they had flashing lights and a loud speaker that would have really sealed the deal for them. It's like "Pull over Susie we've got a live one here....VIOLATION, VIOLATION.".
Haha. Azzhats. Ok ok they are just doing their jobs. But why the fluck aren't they in Florida right now? Oh they just got back. Ugh.
That's exactly it. I mean, if they had flashing lights and a loud speaker that would have really sealed the deal for them. It's like "Pull over Susie we've got a live one here....VIOLATION, VIOLATION.".
Haha. Azzhats. Ok ok they are just doing their jobs. But why the fluck aren't they in Florida right now? Oh they just got back. Ugh.
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Thanks Andante! I haven't posted a thread a quite a while. It felt good to get it out there. And yeah, I guess I did use some 'maturity' but not a whole lot 
I was just really caught off guard by how long it took me to calm down and put the whole thing in perspective. I was agitated for a good couple of hours. Sheesh. Awful way to live.
I was just really caught off guard by how long it took me to calm down and put the whole thing in perspective. I was agitated for a good couple of hours. Sheesh. Awful way to live.
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Haha Bimini. I think people would end up missing, or worse. I definitely do not have the temperament to police people. I'd either be really soft or a crazy psycho about enforcing the rules (I think the committee of puffs of grey in the lexus lean toward the crazy psycho end of the spectrum). I always say I manage results not activity....so that shlit would make me nuts. I commend you for even trying!!
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Yes Maudcat that sucks. And you are right, it does keep things very clean and pretty orderly. The city I live in is small and for the most part the people are extremely conscientious. So I never see anything out of line pretty much in the whole town. I know they are doing their jobs....I just want them to do their jobs MY way. Haha. That's what surprised me so much. Was how I responded.
Although laser eyes or a flame thrower would have been nice.....and very dramatic.
Although laser eyes or a flame thrower would have been nice.....and very dramatic.
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‘Fluck them, they’re all posers anway!’
YES exactly. I mean, literally, it was 4 people, clearly retired, with nothing better to do (ok that accurately describes me) who are probably anal as he!! driving around looking for infractions. Where were they in December when I got a bunch of siding replaced? FLORIDA. Yep. I got a notice once that I needed to put my garbage cans out no more than 30 minutes before the trucks come. WHAT? I have no idea (and neither do the garbage people) exactly what time they come. Seriously? Haha. I'm sure they are very nice people. God bless them.
YES exactly. I mean, literally, it was 4 people, clearly retired, with nothing better to do (ok that accurately describes me) who are probably anal as he!! driving around looking for infractions. Where were they in December when I got a bunch of siding replaced? FLORIDA. Yep. I got a notice once that I needed to put my garbage cans out no more than 30 minutes before the trucks come. WHAT? I have no idea (and neither do the garbage people) exactly what time they come. Seriously? Haha. I'm sure they are very nice people. God bless them.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
OH, I quit after I put my pet project in motion. It was the only way the job was going to ever get done, since I brought it up for ten years and they kept sidestepping the work.
I got on the Board, got the work orders done that proved there was a pressing need to do the work, then jumped out of there like it was biting me. I agree that it is not a place for me, either. I've done it twice in the twenty years I've lived here and it is a thankless time-suck of a (volunteer) job.
That stuff I posted all happened in one year. One. I don't know what kind of personality enjoys that kind of thing - whether it's control or fear or kind-hearted community service, it ain't worth it.
I got on the Board, got the work orders done that proved there was a pressing need to do the work, then jumped out of there like it was biting me. I agree that it is not a place for me, either. I've done it twice in the twenty years I've lived here and it is a thankless time-suck of a (volunteer) job.
That stuff I posted all happened in one year. One. I don't know what kind of personality enjoys that kind of thing - whether it's control or fear or kind-hearted community service, it ain't worth it.
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