Reminder that alcohol is lying to you
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 68
Reminder that alcohol is lying to you
So, I'm a "take it day by day" kind of person when it comes to recovery. And that's because often my depression and anxiety is really bad and the thought of not drinking ever again is intolerable to me. When I get down I think I'll feel this way forever, but I know that's the alcohol trying to trick me. Things do get better, but there are times when my av voice makes me feel like its endless misery or it. When you come out the other end of one of these episodes, the strength of that pull is actually quite scary. I just need to remind myself that its a lie and the feeling will pass. I don't think someone who's never been addicted to anything just couldn't understand how it feels to have that darkness engulf your thoughts.
Anyway, just some thoughts I had while struggling today. Hope everyone is doing well =)
Anyway, just some thoughts I had while struggling today. Hope everyone is doing well =)
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 666
Absolutely! You nailed it.
Good for you for recognizing it and pushing through it.
In another thread earlier today, I was reflecting on the same thing. I'm going to paste it here because I think it applies here to exactly what you are saying, Sarah. I'm with you. Keep doing what you're doing!
Long before I finally quit, I would make repeated lists of reasons why it was bad for me to drink. Against the other, very short column of why I wanted to drink. The short column always won out. Week after week, year after year. The obvious imbalance and logic didn't make a difference. The addiction won out.
Until I finally accepted that the short-column reasons were all a lie.
"It relaxes me." -- Actually it made me more anxious and depressed.
"I deserve it." -- Actually, I deserved better than poisoning myself and destroying my health, relationships, energy and self-respect.
"It's how to socialize, it's a party" -- Actually, I stopped drinking in front of other people, and was drinking wine alone out of plastic cups at 1 a.m., throwing up on the floor of my closet while my family slept. Is that a "party"?
"It's what 'everybody' does." -- Actually, everybody doesn't. They don't obsess about alcohol. They can take a few sips and leave it alone. They don't hide bottles in their car, drink so much they can't wake up without feeling sick, make fools of themselves on social media after drinking, wake up four hours after passing out panic stricken and filled with remorse, and shame themselves in front of their children.
Once you apply logic to the supposed arguments for drinking, instead of why not to drink, I think it becomes easier to flip the switch. And see the lie for what it is.
Instead of fighting, give in. Give in to the acceptance that it's not worth doing anymore. Just take it off the table as an option. You don't have to argue with yourself or make lists of reasons why not to drink.
Then it's not a matter of will power, or strength or even determination. It's acceptance. And once you start to heal, without the poisoning of alcohol, it gets easier and easier.
Good for you for recognizing it and pushing through it.
In another thread earlier today, I was reflecting on the same thing. I'm going to paste it here because I think it applies here to exactly what you are saying, Sarah. I'm with you. Keep doing what you're doing!
Long before I finally quit, I would make repeated lists of reasons why it was bad for me to drink. Against the other, very short column of why I wanted to drink. The short column always won out. Week after week, year after year. The obvious imbalance and logic didn't make a difference. The addiction won out.
Until I finally accepted that the short-column reasons were all a lie.
"It relaxes me." -- Actually it made me more anxious and depressed.
"I deserve it." -- Actually, I deserved better than poisoning myself and destroying my health, relationships, energy and self-respect.
"It's how to socialize, it's a party" -- Actually, I stopped drinking in front of other people, and was drinking wine alone out of plastic cups at 1 a.m., throwing up on the floor of my closet while my family slept. Is that a "party"?
"It's what 'everybody' does." -- Actually, everybody doesn't. They don't obsess about alcohol. They can take a few sips and leave it alone. They don't hide bottles in their car, drink so much they can't wake up without feeling sick, make fools of themselves on social media after drinking, wake up four hours after passing out panic stricken and filled with remorse, and shame themselves in front of their children.
Once you apply logic to the supposed arguments for drinking, instead of why not to drink, I think it becomes easier to flip the switch. And see the lie for what it is.
Instead of fighting, give in. Give in to the acceptance that it's not worth doing anymore. Just take it off the table as an option. You don't have to argue with yourself or make lists of reasons why not to drink.
Then it's not a matter of will power, or strength or even determination. It's acceptance. And once you start to heal, without the poisoning of alcohol, it gets easier and easier.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 68
On the point of "it's what everyone does", I absolutely told myself that, I was completely in denial. I read statistics which showed the vast vast majority of people drink well within the limits and it's only a small percentage that account for the vast majority of alcohol sales.
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