Ready to make a start - current thoughts..
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 46
Ready to make a start - current thoughts..
Hi all.
I posted a couple of weeks ago by way of introduction and gave an overview of my story. Got some really helpful and kind replies which I am thankful for. I continued to drink until yesterday and today have decided I'm ready to give this thing a go - so today has been my day one. I've felt positive today despite some of the life things which I talked about in my introductory post (unemployment, living with parents, recent relationship breakup etc) and I haven't felt that burning desire to drink. But I know from experience that day ones can be easy because it's only a few hours since waking up feeling ill and anxious!
I've been thinking about the concept of actually living sober, as opposed to just not drinking. In my first post I mentioned about being a naturally shy/anxious/introverted person, and that I've been treated for depression on and off over the years. I really think these characteristics created the perfect conditions for me to fall in love with alcohol and its effects when I was in my teens.
I've been referred for CBT a couple of times but I never saw it through - I guess I wasn't committed to or interested enough in myself or my future to invest my time and headspace in it. The only thing I've consistently and faithfully committed to over the last twelve or so years is living in my head and numbing myself with drink.
So I think that my issues with anxiety and low self-esteem should be part of my recovery plan, given that they're a big part of what paved the way for my addiction to develop, and I'm going to refer myself to CBT. I need to become more conscious of myself, my thoughts, and my life and future in general, because I've just drifted through the last decade, sat on the sidelines, bottle in hand, numbly watching the rest of the world go by. Does CBT in early recovery sound like a good idea?
I'm off to bed soon I think, ready for day two tomorrow. I'm going to do some reading about urge surfing first though because it's days two and three that bite me in the backside!
I posted a couple of weeks ago by way of introduction and gave an overview of my story. Got some really helpful and kind replies which I am thankful for. I continued to drink until yesterday and today have decided I'm ready to give this thing a go - so today has been my day one. I've felt positive today despite some of the life things which I talked about in my introductory post (unemployment, living with parents, recent relationship breakup etc) and I haven't felt that burning desire to drink. But I know from experience that day ones can be easy because it's only a few hours since waking up feeling ill and anxious!
I've been thinking about the concept of actually living sober, as opposed to just not drinking. In my first post I mentioned about being a naturally shy/anxious/introverted person, and that I've been treated for depression on and off over the years. I really think these characteristics created the perfect conditions for me to fall in love with alcohol and its effects when I was in my teens.
I've been referred for CBT a couple of times but I never saw it through - I guess I wasn't committed to or interested enough in myself or my future to invest my time and headspace in it. The only thing I've consistently and faithfully committed to over the last twelve or so years is living in my head and numbing myself with drink.
So I think that my issues with anxiety and low self-esteem should be part of my recovery plan, given that they're a big part of what paved the way for my addiction to develop, and I'm going to refer myself to CBT. I need to become more conscious of myself, my thoughts, and my life and future in general, because I've just drifted through the last decade, sat on the sidelines, bottle in hand, numbly watching the rest of the world go by. Does CBT in early recovery sound like a good idea?
I'm off to bed soon I think, ready for day two tomorrow. I'm going to do some reading about urge surfing first though because it's days two and three that bite me in the backside!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
Hi Polished, and welcome! Sounds like you're in a good place to start your journey. I relate to a lot of what you wrote, from the anxiety, low self-esteem and introversion to living in your own head and numbing yourself with drink.
I'm also currently looking for a CBT therapist to help me with these issues, both as part of my recovery and to work on myself just generally. I think it's a great idea, but only one component of my recovery plan.
SR has tons of great resources to get you going on your recovery and to help you develop an effective toolkit to get you where you want to go. Best of luck!
JT
I'm also currently looking for a CBT therapist to help me with these issues, both as part of my recovery and to work on myself just generally. I think it's a great idea, but only one component of my recovery plan.
SR has tons of great resources to get you going on your recovery and to help you develop an effective toolkit to get you where you want to go. Best of luck!
JT
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 2,547
Hi Polished, your story sounds very familiar, especially the part about alcohol becoming the ultimate solution before it becomes a problem. I think therapy of any kind can only help you at this point. 
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