Surgery Soon. And She Has A Private Investigator?
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Surgery Soon. And She Has A Private Investigator?
Hello, Friends,
Been a while since I've posted, but wanted to give you an update. My surgery is still scheduled for Friday the 23rd, still supposed to be outpatient (but more than a hangnail!) and my recovery time is about 10 days before I can come back to work. There is plenty of food in the freezer, pre-baked, that all I need to do is heat it up. The dog walker will still come daily since a 100# ball of fur is too much for me right now - although I'm still walking him at this point. I'm trying to do as much as possible as I can now since I'll be on the DL for a while. Probably should back off even more, but I just have not.
DS8 (just had his birthday!) is being helpful with things now, and knows that he will have to help out even more for a bit after Friday. He's a great kid.
AW has been more helpful - she has been doing the vacuuming, which is most difficult in my current condition, she is also doing more lifting of things as needed. I'm not one to ask/expect help!
So, last week, during one of AW's inebriated rants, she came out with "I know what you're doing and where you are - I hired a private investigator to track your arse!" I figured it's more quacking, and good luck trying to 'catch me' at anything nefarious!! She said she's been having my cellphone tracked. Umm, okay - I go to work, I go to the grocery store, and I pick up our kid at aftercare every day! No bars, no sleazy women on the side, not even to the golf course (it's too cold anyway). I think she was trying to get a reaction out of me. She said, "If you think you have some sort of dirt on me for being an alcoholic and try to divorce me - I have more than enough sh*t on you to make that look pretty!"
D-O-U-B-T it..... Then this weekend we were out walking the dog and she saw a moving truck and said, "Wow, glad we don't have to ever do that again, I'm done moving". Sure, whatever you say!
I tried to imagine her ranting at a cardboard cutout!! (Thanks, Sasha!)
I'm okay with the surgery (though not thrilled) but the pain should go away that I've had for some time. The part that makes me nervous is her increasing drinkiness and the fact I've found her twice in the last 4 days passed out on the toilet again. Yep - took pics. But for this weekend she will really need to be available for both me and DS, and I'm not sure if she can, and that worries me.
Thanks for reading, I'm usually not this wordy.
COD
Been a while since I've posted, but wanted to give you an update. My surgery is still scheduled for Friday the 23rd, still supposed to be outpatient (but more than a hangnail!) and my recovery time is about 10 days before I can come back to work. There is plenty of food in the freezer, pre-baked, that all I need to do is heat it up. The dog walker will still come daily since a 100# ball of fur is too much for me right now - although I'm still walking him at this point. I'm trying to do as much as possible as I can now since I'll be on the DL for a while. Probably should back off even more, but I just have not.
DS8 (just had his birthday!) is being helpful with things now, and knows that he will have to help out even more for a bit after Friday. He's a great kid.
AW has been more helpful - she has been doing the vacuuming, which is most difficult in my current condition, she is also doing more lifting of things as needed. I'm not one to ask/expect help!
So, last week, during one of AW's inebriated rants, she came out with "I know what you're doing and where you are - I hired a private investigator to track your arse!" I figured it's more quacking, and good luck trying to 'catch me' at anything nefarious!! She said she's been having my cellphone tracked. Umm, okay - I go to work, I go to the grocery store, and I pick up our kid at aftercare every day! No bars, no sleazy women on the side, not even to the golf course (it's too cold anyway). I think she was trying to get a reaction out of me. She said, "If you think you have some sort of dirt on me for being an alcoholic and try to divorce me - I have more than enough sh*t on you to make that look pretty!"
D-O-U-B-T it..... Then this weekend we were out walking the dog and she saw a moving truck and said, "Wow, glad we don't have to ever do that again, I'm done moving". Sure, whatever you say!
I tried to imagine her ranting at a cardboard cutout!! (Thanks, Sasha!)
I'm okay with the surgery (though not thrilled) but the pain should go away that I've had for some time. The part that makes me nervous is her increasing drinkiness and the fact I've found her twice in the last 4 days passed out on the toilet again. Yep - took pics. But for this weekend she will really need to be available for both me and DS, and I'm not sure if she can, and that worries me.
Thanks for reading, I'm usually not this wordy.
COD
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I've been wondering where you were...... Well, at least we know where she's spending daddy's money now, don't we?
I'm sorry - I couldn't resist........
She's quacking IMO - trying to scare a reaction out of you somehow. I'm sure it makes sense in her wine-soaked brain sometimes but we all know that if she WAS tracking you it would be foolish to announce it like that. And why? She just decided to hire an investigator without the advice of an attorney recommending such a thing?
Like I said before..... her spidey senses are up. She feels you pulling back - you're changing the dance steps & she doesn't like it.
What kinds of things do you think she'll be undependable for this weekend? What kind of Plan B can we figure out? (woohoo for the meal prep though!)
I'm sorry - I couldn't resist........
She's quacking IMO - trying to scare a reaction out of you somehow. I'm sure it makes sense in her wine-soaked brain sometimes but we all know that if she WAS tracking you it would be foolish to announce it like that. And why? She just decided to hire an investigator without the advice of an attorney recommending such a thing?
Like I said before..... her spidey senses are up. She feels you pulling back - you're changing the dance steps & she doesn't like it.
What kinds of things do you think she'll be undependable for this weekend? What kind of Plan B can we figure out? (woohoo for the meal prep though!)
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
COD, I am glad you updated. I send you well wishes and a speedy recovery on your surgery!
It sounds like she knows what is coming and is trying to bait you into telling her if you ask me. And it sounds like she is ramping up, not good. Is there someone you can call to help if need be if things don't go well this weekend?
Many hugs friend!
It sounds like she knows what is coming and is trying to bait you into telling her if you ask me. And it sounds like she is ramping up, not good. Is there someone you can call to help if need be if things don't go well this weekend?
Many hugs friend!
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Originally Posted by FireSprite 
I've been wondering where you were...... Well, at least we know where she's spending daddy's money now, don't we?
I'm sorry - I couldn't resist........
She's quacking IMO - trying to scare a reaction out of you somehow. I'm sure it makes sense in her wine-soaked brain sometimes but we all know that if she WAS tracking you it would be foolish to announce it like that. And why? She just decided to hire an investigator without the advice of an attorney recommending such a thing?
Like I said before..... her spidey senses are up. She feels you pulling back - you're changing the dance steps & she doesn't like it.
What kinds of things do you think she'll be undependable for this weekend? What kind of Plan B can we figure out? (woohoo for the meal prep though!)
I'm sorry - I couldn't resist........
She's quacking IMO - trying to scare a reaction out of you somehow. I'm sure it makes sense in her wine-soaked brain sometimes but we all know that if she WAS tracking you it would be foolish to announce it like that. And why? She just decided to hire an investigator without the advice of an attorney recommending such a thing?
Like I said before..... her spidey senses are up. She feels you pulling back - you're changing the dance steps & she doesn't like it.
What kinds of things do you think she'll be undependable for this weekend? What kind of Plan B can we figure out? (woohoo for the meal prep though!)
I think she might be undependable to: 1) help me if I need to get out of bed and have issues, and 2) in case DS has a bad dream or whatever and calls for me and I can't get out of bed and up the steps. I guess I could sleep in the guestroom so I would be on the same floor as him.
I'm most certain I can depend on her to get trashed.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Does he wake often?
Maybe you & DS can "camp out" together, in the guestroom? Movies, popcorn, board games, ghost stories..... whatever?
Maybe you can turn it into a fun activity for him that allows you to keep him close by for peace of mind for you?
Maybe you & DS can "camp out" together, in the guestroom? Movies, popcorn, board games, ghost stories..... whatever?
Maybe you can turn it into a fun activity for him that allows you to keep him close by for peace of mind for you?
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne Australia.
Posts: 3,748
Originally Posted by CentralOhioDad
Hello, Friends,
Been a while since I've posted, but wanted to give you an update. My surgery is still scheduled for Friday the 23rd, still supposed to be outpatient (but more than a hangnail!) and my recovery time is about 10 days before I can come back to work. There is plenty of food in the freezer, pre-baked, that all I need to do is heat it up. The dog walker will still come daily since a 100# ball of fur is too much for me right now - although I'm still walking him at this point. I'm trying to do as much as possible as I can now since I'll be on the DL for a while. Probably should back off even more, but I just have not.
DS8 (just had his birthday!) is being helpful with things now, and knows that he will have to help out even more for a bit after Friday. He's a great kid.
AW has been more helpful - she has been doing the vacuuming, which is most difficult in my current condition, she is also doing more lifting of things as needed. I'm not one to ask/expect help!
So, last week, during one of AW's inebriated rants, she came out with "I know what you're doing and where you are - I hired a private investigator to track your arse!" I figured it's more quacking, and good luck trying to 'catch me' at anything nefarious!! She said she's been having my cellphone tracked. Umm, okay - I go to work, I go to the grocery store, and I pick up our kid at aftercare every day! No bars, no sleazy women on the side, not even to the golf course (it's too cold anyway). I think she was trying to get a reaction out of me. She said, "If you think you have some sort of dirt on me for being an alcoholic and try to divorce me - I have more than enough sh*t on you to make that look pretty!"
D-O-U-B-T it..... Then this weekend we were out walking the dog and she saw a moving truck and said, "Wow, glad we don't have to ever do that again, I'm done moving". Sure, whatever you say!
I tried to imagine her ranting at a cardboard cutout!! (Thanks, Sasha!)
I'm okay with the surgery (though not thrilled) but the pain should go away that I've had for some time. The part that makes me nervous is her increasing drinkiness and the fact I've found her twice in the last 4 days passed out on the toilet again. Yep - took pics. But for this weekend she will really need to be available for both me and DS, and I'm not sure if she can, and that worries me.
Thanks for reading, I'm usually not this wordy.
COD
Been a while since I've posted, but wanted to give you an update. My surgery is still scheduled for Friday the 23rd, still supposed to be outpatient (but more than a hangnail!) and my recovery time is about 10 days before I can come back to work. There is plenty of food in the freezer, pre-baked, that all I need to do is heat it up. The dog walker will still come daily since a 100# ball of fur is too much for me right now - although I'm still walking him at this point. I'm trying to do as much as possible as I can now since I'll be on the DL for a while. Probably should back off even more, but I just have not.
DS8 (just had his birthday!) is being helpful with things now, and knows that he will have to help out even more for a bit after Friday. He's a great kid.
AW has been more helpful - she has been doing the vacuuming, which is most difficult in my current condition, she is also doing more lifting of things as needed. I'm not one to ask/expect help!
So, last week, during one of AW's inebriated rants, she came out with "I know what you're doing and where you are - I hired a private investigator to track your arse!" I figured it's more quacking, and good luck trying to 'catch me' at anything nefarious!! She said she's been having my cellphone tracked. Umm, okay - I go to work, I go to the grocery store, and I pick up our kid at aftercare every day! No bars, no sleazy women on the side, not even to the golf course (it's too cold anyway). I think she was trying to get a reaction out of me. She said, "If you think you have some sort of dirt on me for being an alcoholic and try to divorce me - I have more than enough sh*t on you to make that look pretty!"
D-O-U-B-T it..... Then this weekend we were out walking the dog and she saw a moving truck and said, "Wow, glad we don't have to ever do that again, I'm done moving". Sure, whatever you say!
I tried to imagine her ranting at a cardboard cutout!! (Thanks, Sasha!)
I'm okay with the surgery (though not thrilled) but the pain should go away that I've had for some time. The part that makes me nervous is her increasing drinkiness and the fact I've found her twice in the last 4 days passed out on the toilet again. Yep - took pics. But for this weekend she will really need to be available for both me and DS, and I'm not sure if she can, and that worries me.
Thanks for reading, I'm usually not this wordy.
COD
All the best with best both issues.
You seem to have a great sense of humour; that's a great blessing.
P.S. The vacuuming was a good sign.
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Originally Posted by FireSprite
Does he wake often?
Maybe you & DS can "camp out" together, in the guestroom? Movies, popcorn, board games, ghost stories..... whatever?
Maybe you can turn it into a fun activity for him that allows you to keep him close by for peace of mind for you?
Maybe you & DS can "camp out" together, in the guestroom? Movies, popcorn, board games, ghost stories..... whatever?
Maybe you can turn it into a fun activity for him that allows you to keep him close by for peace of mind for you?
I'll keep the camping out idea under consideration!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Glad you are in good spirits heading into surgery. I have no doubt you will be up and about in no time.
To me it sounds like quackety quackety quack attempting to scare you into submission to remaining hostage to her alcoholic antics without rocking her boat. And wow fear is always a pleasant way to show love – said no one ever!!!
Hang in there- better days are coming.
To me it sounds like quackety quackety quack attempting to scare you into submission to remaining hostage to her alcoholic antics without rocking her boat. And wow fear is always a pleasant way to show love – said no one ever!!!
Hang in there- better days are coming.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
I also had minor surgery last year - enough to knock me out for ten days.
My procedure was done on Thursday. The doctor's office called me on Friday and Saturday to follow up on my condition. In one case, my husband had to answer the phone because I was sleeping. I was instructed to call back later.
I don't know what would have happened if no one was around to answer the phone.
My procedure was done on Thursday. The doctor's office called me on Friday and Saturday to follow up on my condition. In one case, my husband had to answer the phone because I was sleeping. I was instructed to call back later.
I don't know what would have happened if no one was around to answer the phone.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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I love the idea of camping out and getting to spend some much needed father son time it will also keep AW out of the way and she'll get to do her thing whatever that is. It will strengthen your bond before all the fireworks begin. He can take pride in helping out because you need a strong man to help another strong man to his feet I really love this idea.
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Ugg, I was with xabf when I had a surgery and needed some caretaking. It didn't pan out AT ALL - have some good friends or family on speed dial, and please throw any fears (if you have any) about any of them seeing your STBXAW in that 'napping on the biffy' state. YOUR health matters!!
Sending good vibes, prayers all that for a successful surgery and speedy healing!
Sending good vibes, prayers all that for a successful surgery and speedy healing!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
a private investigator now,eh?
does he have a ferrari 308 and a helicopter flown by TC?
does the P.I. live in the Robins Nest with a caretaker named Higgins?
sorry,COD, but that was hard to resist.
if someones gonna quack, go for the gusto!!
does he have a ferrari 308 and a helicopter flown by TC?
does the P.I. live in the Robins Nest with a caretaker named Higgins?
sorry,COD, but that was hard to resist.
if someones gonna quack, go for the gusto!!
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
I'm sorry, but my first thought was also that she used that money for a PI
I agree with the spidey sense. Can she look at the photos on your phone?
Also with the campout (that's what me and the boys call it) idea. Kids will sleep anywhere. I met my kids campout in the living room with me. Sometimes they are on air mattress, sometimes on the floor, and sometimes they drag a mattress or two out. Just keep it simple. You could even camp in his room.
Good luck with the surgery. I'm sorry you are going through this right before surgery.
I agree with the spidey sense. Can she look at the photos on your phone?
Also with the campout (that's what me and the boys call it) idea. Kids will sleep anywhere. I met my kids campout in the living room with me. Sometimes they are on air mattress, sometimes on the floor, and sometimes they drag a mattress or two out. Just keep it simple. You could even camp in his room.
Good luck with the surgery. I'm sorry you are going through this right before surgery.
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
1. I like the campout idea.
2. Who cares if she hired a private investigator? If there's nothing to see, let the PI follow you everywhere, even into the can (when you find time to do more than fart). I have a theory that addicts sometimes make the mistake of assuming everyone is like them - because they have (not so) secret lives involving love affairs with the bottle and lots of hiding, lying and shame, they assume that other people also live that way - so there must be plenty of dirt on you for her to find and you will be intimidated by the possibility that she might find it. But there isn't.
And after your surgery, onwards to a future which we hope will involve less time spent dealing with an alcoholic and more time spent living a new life.
2. Who cares if she hired a private investigator? If there's nothing to see, let the PI follow you everywhere, even into the can (when you find time to do more than fart). I have a theory that addicts sometimes make the mistake of assuming everyone is like them - because they have (not so) secret lives involving love affairs with the bottle and lots of hiding, lying and shame, they assume that other people also live that way - so there must be plenty of dirt on you for her to find and you will be intimidated by the possibility that she might find it. But there isn't.
And after your surgery, onwards to a future which we hope will involve less time spent dealing with an alcoholic and more time spent living a new life.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I too love the campout idea. There was some discussion about hiring someone to help out in your other thread but maybe you have a friend or relative who could help out for a few days?
Anyway, like the others I think she is quacking big time, just ignore her so you can go to surgery as stress free as possible.
Sending positive thoughts your way for your surgery to be a success
Anyway, like the others I think she is quacking big time, just ignore her so you can go to surgery as stress free as possible.
Sending positive thoughts your way for your surgery to be a success
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 394
We've had some contentious exchanges, but I really hope your wife can pull it together when you need her. I wish my husband sought out counseling/Al-non/this website before our marriage broke apart, because I think he would see growth.
Granted, your wife isn't giving you that, but you've given many chances. When drunk I've been curious if there is a PI out for me. How dumb. I am a big enough goof to make an idiot of myself publicly, why hire someone privately to prove what is already known?
I wouldn't take it to heart. But she knows. She knows you are divorcing her IMO. This might explain the uptake in alcohol, or that is a direct response to grief with her mom. I don't know. As an alcoholic, I'm giving my take. And FYI, it IS NOT A CHOICE.
Granted, your wife isn't giving you that, but you've given many chances. When drunk I've been curious if there is a PI out for me. How dumb. I am a big enough goof to make an idiot of myself publicly, why hire someone privately to prove what is already known?
I wouldn't take it to heart. But she knows. She knows you are divorcing her IMO. This might explain the uptake in alcohol, or that is a direct response to grief with her mom. I don't know. As an alcoholic, I'm giving my take. And FYI, it IS NOT A CHOICE.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
COD....you can always rent a wheel chair for a couple of weeks....(and, you can keep a urinal close to the bed at night).... Your wife is sober in the mornings, enough to bring you a days supply of food and fluids to the bedside, before she goes to work.
At 8yrs. old, your son can bring you anything that you need, when he is h ome from school....and, you have your telephone at your side....
If you son had a bad dream...tell him to just come to your room and sleep there....(if he can yell for you...you can yell..."come in here"....
You should be just fine....(your glass is half full...remember?)....
At 8yrs. old, your son can bring you anything that you need, when he is h ome from school....and, you have your telephone at your side....
If you son had a bad dream...tell him to just come to your room and sleep there....(if he can yell for you...you can yell..."come in here"....
You should be just fine....(your glass is half full...remember?)....
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
COD....I just thought of something! Since the private investigator is probably j ust outside, anyway, ask you wife if he can just come in the house and hang out with you for a few days....that could be a win-win for everyone. lol.
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