Snowydelrico

It seams so, my body language seems to speak the way it used to but I don’t act on it or think the same or use the same speak.

My partner still reads me the same as I used to be and if I’m tired I can’t stop the train of destruction in time.
This leads to days of unwinding the damage to our relationship.

Does anyone think she is relapsing in to old routines.
Or is it just par for the course for us in recovery or recovered.

entropy1964

I'm not totally sure I'm following you.

But yes, I certainly know the feeling of drifting away from thoughtful, purposeful behavior and thinking. Being reactive instead of responsive. No its not par for the course but it is common.

Its what you do with that that matters. I'm in control of my thoughts, feelings and responses. Everything else is outside of me. Maybe you and your partner need to talk when you are rested and things are calm. Maybe you just need to own your behavior, really not sure based on the post.

tomsteve

not sure what ya mean here, but if your referring to engaging in conversation and making it worse, yes it is possible to stop the train. dont engage and wait until you are rested.

Snowydelrico

Sorry for not being clear.
I’m not sure I fully understand what’s going on.
It’s hard to see yourself as others see you.
My intentions are good if a little delayed at times.
I think that’s where things get messy.
Maybe it’s the non stop routine of bringing my daughter up too.

I think I am trying to own my behaviour but keep getting held up by my partner because she’s used to calling the shots due to my past.

Thanks for your replies
Things will work out..or they won’t with us.
One thing is for sure, I won’t drink over it.

Snowydelrico

The train is me not being bothered to explain myself and argue my point that I just need a time out.
(Think it happens when we spend a little to much time together)
I/we get worn out with our differences I recon.