Boyfriend isn’t supportive
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 34
Boyfriend isn’t supportive
So I’ve clearly stopped drinking and my boyfriend knows exactly how to trigger me. He asks me every 5 seconds what I have been drinking, it’s like WANTS to find something. I am so little apparently, can’t deal with this on my mind own.
I just am so done y’all.
Maybe I am just a gonner
I just am so done y’all.
Maybe I am just a gonner
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
What's your plan? For me a breakup was better than drinking 'at' someone or something. I met a guy in AA and he drank 'at' his high profile/paying job. He quit his job,works at a gas station and has 5yrs sober. It's your life and what you choose to allow into it is your choice.
Edit: It also takes TIME to rebuild trust with those that our drinking caused harm.
Edit: It also takes TIME to rebuild trust with those that our drinking caused harm.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
If I recall, after less than 2 weeks of sobriety I couldn't believe what an unbearable PITA my wife was.
I was really happy to discover that by the 90 day mark she had learned so much and I didn't have to dump her.
I was really happy to discover that by the 90 day mark she had learned so much and I didn't have to dump her.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
i do remember family asking if i was high early on . sponsor told me i couldn't be mad because how many times had i lies about what i had or how much?
at the end of the day keep doing the next right thing and take care of your sobriety. i got clean at 25 and was in a relationship that i had been in for a year and 4 months. the longer i was sober the more i didn't want to be in that relationship anymore. so i left. i went through alot of relationships which can be very difficult for us basically because i still had alot of self centered traits i had learned in my using days. one important thing my father always told me when i would get caught up over a girlfriend was that there are 7 billion people in the world and that my happiness mattered.
relationships are built on trust and that trust has to be earned it goes both ways.
at the end of the day keep doing the next right thing and take care of your sobriety. i got clean at 25 and was in a relationship that i had been in for a year and 4 months. the longer i was sober the more i didn't want to be in that relationship anymore. so i left. i went through alot of relationships which can be very difficult for us basically because i still had alot of self centered traits i had learned in my using days. one important thing my father always told me when i would get caught up over a girlfriend was that there are 7 billion people in the world and that my happiness mattered.
relationships are built on trust and that trust has to be earned it goes both ways.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,348
I don't think you're a goner - but this isn't your bf's recovery - it's yours 
Keep working at it - maybe look into a recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
the more support and the more thought you put into your decisions the stronger your recovery will be and the less what other people say think or do matters
Boyfriends may not always be supportive but places like SR will be
D
Keep working at it - maybe look into a recovery action plan?
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)
the more support and the more thought you put into your decisions the stronger your recovery will be and the less what other people say think or do matters
Boyfriends may not always be supportive but places like SR will be
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Well. On the 14th he said if you had a beer the relationship was over, and you went and got a beer. That was only three days ago. Maybe he's still smarting from that?
Partners of alcoholics tent to be pretty much at the end of their tether by the times we decide to make some kind of effort to stop drinking. They re hurt and angry and confused. There's no reason in the world that the average person would understand and know how to support us. And to be fair, even if they did everything right, at three days sober they re still likely to irritate us whatever they do.
I found things much easier when I finally stopped expecting my boyfriend to know how to and choose to support me, and instead reached out for support from folk here and in AA, and resolved to get a recovery plan in place so I could be responsible for doing what I needed to do for myself in order that sobriety could be sustainable, comfortable, and (eventually nowadays) preferable to life without the booze.
There are lots of people who can support you. I'd suggest getting to know some of them... http://www.drugrehab.ca/saskatchewan-aa-meetings.html
BB
Partners of alcoholics tent to be pretty much at the end of their tether by the times we decide to make some kind of effort to stop drinking. They re hurt and angry and confused. There's no reason in the world that the average person would understand and know how to support us. And to be fair, even if they did everything right, at three days sober they re still likely to irritate us whatever they do.
I found things much easier when I finally stopped expecting my boyfriend to know how to and choose to support me, and instead reached out for support from folk here and in AA, and resolved to get a recovery plan in place so I could be responsible for doing what I needed to do for myself in order that sobriety could be sustainable, comfortable, and (eventually nowadays) preferable to life without the booze.
There are lots of people who can support you. I'd suggest getting to know some of them... http://www.drugrehab.ca/saskatchewan-aa-meetings.html
BB
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