inrecoverymysel

In my last post I have explained that my RABF has been discharged from his sober living house. What I did not mention is that, later in the week I have learnt that his parents gave my bf an ultimatum. If he visited me, they would cut him out. I was not aware of this until I visited him AT HIS PARENTS HOUSE, which resulted in an unpleasant weekend for both of us. I did not enjoy my time there, because I realized my boyfriend was lying the entire day on Wednesday when he said he was coming to see me but couldn't because of the blizzard. He kept saying he was trying to protect me by not telling me about his parents actions, but I wasn't convinced. I nearly broke up with him, but he asked for one week. One week he was going to show me how things were going to be different. I jumped to the first thought of having hope and expectations.

It is Friday, and he has only texted me twice this week. No visit, no conversations, no nothing. I knew I shouldn't have trusted his words, but it hurts to see no action. When he reached out today, I thought something was going to happen. I responded, but he never texted back. As a strong woman who promised herself I would not humiliate myself by letting him not hold up to his word and play with me, I have sent a message saying how he has asked for a week and nothing changed and how we said we wouldn't fight and simply let go. I also mentioned how killing the hope of dreams of us and our future is going to be challenging. He hasn't responded, and I don't think he takes me seriously just yet. I will be picking up my car from his house early in the am tomorrow ( I live in a city and it's expensive to keep a car here), but he does not know this yet. Furthermore, I am moving back overseas within the week.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me understand, grow, be patient, and focus on myself throughout this horrific period. I tried so hard to forgive my boyfriend for everything he has done, and to trust him; but unfortunately, even 8 months sober, he lies out of habit. As much as I've wanted for us to be young 20s people enjoying ourselves and doing our best, he is not capable of being in a relationship. I need to focus on my own health, since I have spent months obsessing about my boyfriend's disease. We have been together 5 years, met the first day in college. I am devastated I have to let go my best friend. Although, I don't think he was going to take his recovery seriously until hes lost me, so I hope this will be a good step for the both of us.
I hope your story continues different than mine. I wanted so badly for my boyfriend to understand and make up and speak the truth, but he is not ready and I don't have the strength to be patient and wait.

I thought this man would be in my life for the rest of my life (I'm only 22), and I am delusional to still think maybe in a few years everything will be different, and our paths will cross again. But addiction is a lifelong disease. I don't want to worry for the probability of 50% my children will be addicts, or my bf relapsing and making our lives hell, or etc. Thank you for reading. I know time will heal a lot of the hurt, but the scars will remain.

ItsTime4Me

It's so hard to let go of the fantasy, the hopes for what life could be, if he just.....what, magically became a different person? I'm in a similar situation only almost 8 years, 2 kids later and 15 years on you, and I'm struggling with the same hope/disappointment/hope/disappointment on and on and on. But take it from me, I know you love him, but thank your lucky stars that you learned this about him this early in life and don't have children and you have the world in front of you.