The end
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 9
The end
Well, I have put my husband out, caught him drinking, I pretty much have found vodka in his truck every night. He is convinced that he is more mature now and not the same person he was before and he can now drink. Doesn't want help, trust me I tried to get him some. I lay here looking at my precious kids and hurt for the pain they will go through with divorce. He told me tonight that I never appreciated him and that he hopes we can be really good friends one day. I know he is trying to manipulate me at this point. His mother tells him that he is not leaving his family, just me, lol. Maybe they think I'm the reason he drinks, but he was drinking long before he met me. I mean after 14 years of hell that I put up with and three beautiful children, it s like he threw me away like a piece of trash. A week ago he was crying saying that he can't help it, he gives up, he wants to drink every morning he wakes up. So it goes from that to he is different now and can drink? I mean I know better, but just how messed up is he to actually believe that???? Regardless, I have to stay strong and raise my kids, try to give them the best life I can.
under new management
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 2,339
Originally Posted by disney 
I lay here looking at my precious kids and hurt for the pain they will go through with divorce.
I believe that your kids will suffer far less pain from a divorce than they would from living in a home where active addiction rules.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
Not an easy decision but often a necessary one in order to salvage our own sanity.
Our reactions to their irrational and unless chat are extremely important. Taking anything he says at this point is useless to you your marriage and family. We try and reason, courter, show evidence, and have important life altering and deciding talks with someone who is not capable of that.
Just because an alcoholic has not consumed any booze yet that day or week does not mean you are talking to a sober person. You are very much still engaging with an alcohol soaked brain driving an individual where that irrational though process comes out.
Almost every person I know who ventured down the divorce road believing that their alcoholic spouse will do the right thing and will mutually work out a settlement keeping their kids high on the list have all been extremely disappointed and angry that they were duped once again by an irrational person.
Our reactions to their irrational and unless chat are extremely important. Taking anything he says at this point is useless to you your marriage and family. We try and reason, courter, show evidence, and have important life altering and deciding talks with someone who is not capable of that.
Just because an alcoholic has not consumed any booze yet that day or week does not mean you are talking to a sober person. You are very much still engaging with an alcohol soaked brain driving an individual where that irrational though process comes out.
Almost every person I know who ventured down the divorce road believing that their alcoholic spouse will do the right thing and will mutually work out a settlement keeping their kids high on the list have all been extremely disappointed and angry that they were duped once again by an irrational person.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Disney, not "the end" even though it feels like it. More like "the beginning" of a new, healthier and more peaceful life for you and your kids. Keep reading, keep posting for support. If you haven't been to Alanon yet, give it a try. If you have, keep on going.
He is showing you very clearly who he is and what he wants. Believe him--this is the truth, regardless of what words come out of his mouth.
He is showing you very clearly who he is and what he wants. Believe him--this is the truth, regardless of what words come out of his mouth.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Originally Posted by 2ndhandrose
I believe that your kids will suffer far less pain from a divorce than they would from living in a home where active addiction rules.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Originally Posted by 2ndhandrose
I believe that your kids will suffer far less pain from a divorce than they would from living in a home where active addiction rules.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...e-kids-divorce
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/...n_4676361.html
https://www.beermannfamilylaw.com/Ar...marriage.shtml
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4240051/
^From this study specifically:
"Children who are removed from the most dysfunctional environments are more likely to do better after the divorce."
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