Does This Sound Like Vicodin Addiction?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: sCRANTON, pa
Posts: 2
Does This Sound Like Vicodin Addiction?
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting here and I'm looking for some feedback perhaps based on your personal experiences. Here's my story and please bear with me if I seem to "ramble" but I do want to be as specific as possible:
I began dating "her" about 5 months ago and even before our first date she told me about her history of migrane headaches. In addition to her migranes, she also told me she had undergone gastrointestinal surgery in January 2004 (she once weighed 290 lbs, when we first met in May 2004 she was at 200 lbs, and now weighs 135.) When we first started dating she made it very clear that she that she didn't want to enter into a "relationship" and the first few dates went relatively well. Prior to our 3rd date, she called me and said she couldn't see me because of the terrible migrane she was having and after that almost every time we spoke on the phone she was suffering from a headache. We continued to date, her almost daily migranes continued, and we mutually decided to give a "relationship" a try, even though she did warn me that she was sometimes a "bitch" and not very good at relationships.
After a month and a half of dating, she invited me to her house to meet both her mother (who stays with when she has her children, Tuesday through Saturday) and her children (ages 6 and 4.) It was on this initial vist that I really began to ask myself some questions, but never suspected drug abuse/addiction (yes, call me naive.) That night I arrived (Friday) consisted of nothing but listening to her scold and holler at her children all night long until, with the help of her mother, she finally put them to bed (albeit them crying and screaming.) The plan for Saturday was to go out for breakfast, and, when Saturday morning/afternoon arrived, we all waited patiently for "her" to finally wake up at 1:00PM (when her mother told me to "get used to it" I thought she was joking with me but she was very serious as I would find out over the next few months.) After she showered and came downstairs, she was already in a "cranky" and "irrritated" mood and almost immediately began to once again scold her children. At the restaurant, she had to excuse herself and use the ladies room more than any person I have ever eaten with ... she later told me that she had to vomit and that was normal with people who have recently undergone gastrointestinal surgery. We dropped her children off at their father's later in the day, her mother went back home, and things actually got better as the evening progressed. We went to a small local tavern that evening, "closed" the place, probably had a few too many beers, took a taxi home to her place, and laughed and joked until the sun came up.
Of course, we woke up very late in the day and she was once again very "irritated" ... I "wrote it off" to a possible hangover she may have had. It was at this point that I noticed her "popping pills" for the first time but I neither asked what they were nor what they were for. She had told me that she was on "medication" for her migranes, "gastro" surgery, and a recent shoulder injury she had suffered while training horses. She was also very proud of the fact that two years ago she was on 23 different medications and was now down to three or four.
We continued to date and I got used to hearing about her daily headaches. Whenever I would question her about her headaches and the treatment she was receiving for them she would get very defensive and always say "I don't want to talk about that now." When I suggested she perhaps get a second opinion from another neurologist, she became very agitated and upset. She nearly "ripped my head off" when I said maybe some of it was pyschosomatic. I continued to drive to her house (actually her mother's house ... the house she grew up in) on weekends (she lives about 140 miles away) and the pattern continued. She would always be "cranky" with her children, sleep late, constantly vomit when eating, start to feel better as the night wore on, and stay up late. She would also be very "irritated" with me for things I thought could never irritate people ... whistling to music while driving around, stepping out of her van before she would get out, etc. And, the "pill popping" became more evident ... very evident but I learned not to question that because the few times I did resulted in some heated arguments between us.
Others began to wonder about the "pill popping" also. One weekend she drove up to my house for a party (she rarely drove here because she could not make the trip without having to pull over many times because of the headaches she was suffering) and a friend of mine pulled me aside and asked, "Why is she taking so many pills?" I told my friend what she always told me ... because of her migranes and "gastro" surgery. At that point, I did think that all of the medication she was intermingling was playing havoc with her body, but still never suspected drug addiction. Around others, she was very friendly and personable, but I was seeing a side they probably had never seen before.
I honestly thought it was the migranes causing her pain and, yes, I knew she was perhaps taking painkillers occasionally to deal with them as they occurred (which were daily, it seemed.) She did not try to hide the fact that she needed painkillers to sometimes alleviate the pain ... but, looking back, I am wondering if it was just "sometimes". She did confess to me that at one point she herself thought she may have had an drug abuse problem. She confessed that a month's prescription would last only two weeks and she had to find painkillers elsewhere ... usually from her good "friends" who just happened to have them. Ironically, all of the people she has remained "friends" with over time also suffer from such ailments as broken backs, slipped discs, etc. On one Friday night shortly after I arrived, she even told me "I feel like going on the Internet to find some painkillers because I cannot take this pain anymore." Again, I did believe she was in terrible pain from the migraines, but even then, never suspected prescription pain killer abuse.
She was working a part-time schedule when I first met her (again, due to her migraines) but has since been advised by her neurologist to not work at all. She has filed a claim for long-term disability due to her migraines but is being challenged on it. She has no income, lives in a home her mother owns, her mother financially supports her while she is out of work, and she has admitted she would not be able to take care of her children alone if her mother were not there. Her mother is also a target of her "wrath" when she is in her "cranky" moods but I think her mother has become used to it and learned to not question her either. Often times when we spoke on the phone, she would tell me that she just had a big argument with her mother and I can only wonder what it was about. And, she is constantly clashing heads with her son (age 6) and has admitted to hitting him and leaving bruises on him ... something she is very sorry for and terribly guilty and ashamed of.
Since I have known her, on more than one occasion, she has had to admit herself to the emergency room for a Demerol injection. After she admitted this to me, I decided to do some "investigative" work and found out that she has been suffering from these constant migraines for over 3 years and counting and the Demerol injections have happened quite often. I also found out the the man she dated prior to me was also "blown off" quite frequently because she was suffering from headaches when they were to meet.
I believe she is also obssesed with her desire to lose weight at whatever means possible. She has honestly admitted to me her past history of bulemia. Whenever we go out to eat, she is constantly leaving the table to go throw up ... or so she tells me. I have spoken to people who have had this surgery and, after 9 months, do not vomit as regulalrly as she does. She will call me and tell me, "I have a terrible headache, my son is being very bad again, but, I did lose 3 lbs." She weighs herself at least 10 times/day!
Throughout our relationship she had told me she "loves me" often and often thought she was not "good enough" for me. She had often said she was afraid that I would leave her because of her "medical condition". Once I finally began to ask questions about her use of pain killers and began to probe more, she suggested we end the relationship. When she suggested this I was in shock ... just two days prior to that she told me how much she loved me! When I asked her why, she said we were "incompatable" but couldn't give me specific reasons.
For a month, I tried and tried to figure out why, and, began "beating myself up" thinking it was something I had done or said. Yes, throughout the relationship, maybe I was too straightforward and critical of some of the things I saw. It was only until I told a good friend of mine who works in a local ER about what happened between us did I think maybe she is addicted to painkillers. My friend said she sees this all the time ... people looking for medication for pain for migraines. I do not know for certain that she is an addict but when I start to put all the pieces together, it makes sense to me. I even went as far as to call the local rehab facility and a counselor agreed based on what I told her.
When I asked the lady I had been dating if she was addicted, she accused me of being a "stalker" and never to contact her again. I was speechless because just one month earlier this lady told me she "loved me" and she was afraid that I would one day leave her. If she is indeed an addict, I don't want her to kill herslef and want to help her but she won't let me. Yes, I still do love her!
I am sorry to take so long to explain this all. I am lost, confused, and would appreciate any feedback you have. God bless you all and thank you for listening.
I began dating "her" about 5 months ago and even before our first date she told me about her history of migrane headaches. In addition to her migranes, she also told me she had undergone gastrointestinal surgery in January 2004 (she once weighed 290 lbs, when we first met in May 2004 she was at 200 lbs, and now weighs 135.) When we first started dating she made it very clear that she that she didn't want to enter into a "relationship" and the first few dates went relatively well. Prior to our 3rd date, she called me and said she couldn't see me because of the terrible migrane she was having and after that almost every time we spoke on the phone she was suffering from a headache. We continued to date, her almost daily migranes continued, and we mutually decided to give a "relationship" a try, even though she did warn me that she was sometimes a "bitch" and not very good at relationships.
After a month and a half of dating, she invited me to her house to meet both her mother (who stays with when she has her children, Tuesday through Saturday) and her children (ages 6 and 4.) It was on this initial vist that I really began to ask myself some questions, but never suspected drug abuse/addiction (yes, call me naive.) That night I arrived (Friday) consisted of nothing but listening to her scold and holler at her children all night long until, with the help of her mother, she finally put them to bed (albeit them crying and screaming.) The plan for Saturday was to go out for breakfast, and, when Saturday morning/afternoon arrived, we all waited patiently for "her" to finally wake up at 1:00PM (when her mother told me to "get used to it" I thought she was joking with me but she was very serious as I would find out over the next few months.) After she showered and came downstairs, she was already in a "cranky" and "irrritated" mood and almost immediately began to once again scold her children. At the restaurant, she had to excuse herself and use the ladies room more than any person I have ever eaten with ... she later told me that she had to vomit and that was normal with people who have recently undergone gastrointestinal surgery. We dropped her children off at their father's later in the day, her mother went back home, and things actually got better as the evening progressed. We went to a small local tavern that evening, "closed" the place, probably had a few too many beers, took a taxi home to her place, and laughed and joked until the sun came up.
Of course, we woke up very late in the day and she was once again very "irritated" ... I "wrote it off" to a possible hangover she may have had. It was at this point that I noticed her "popping pills" for the first time but I neither asked what they were nor what they were for. She had told me that she was on "medication" for her migranes, "gastro" surgery, and a recent shoulder injury she had suffered while training horses. She was also very proud of the fact that two years ago she was on 23 different medications and was now down to three or four.
We continued to date and I got used to hearing about her daily headaches. Whenever I would question her about her headaches and the treatment she was receiving for them she would get very defensive and always say "I don't want to talk about that now." When I suggested she perhaps get a second opinion from another neurologist, she became very agitated and upset. She nearly "ripped my head off" when I said maybe some of it was pyschosomatic. I continued to drive to her house (actually her mother's house ... the house she grew up in) on weekends (she lives about 140 miles away) and the pattern continued. She would always be "cranky" with her children, sleep late, constantly vomit when eating, start to feel better as the night wore on, and stay up late. She would also be very "irritated" with me for things I thought could never irritate people ... whistling to music while driving around, stepping out of her van before she would get out, etc. And, the "pill popping" became more evident ... very evident but I learned not to question that because the few times I did resulted in some heated arguments between us.
Others began to wonder about the "pill popping" also. One weekend she drove up to my house for a party (she rarely drove here because she could not make the trip without having to pull over many times because of the headaches she was suffering) and a friend of mine pulled me aside and asked, "Why is she taking so many pills?" I told my friend what she always told me ... because of her migranes and "gastro" surgery. At that point, I did think that all of the medication she was intermingling was playing havoc with her body, but still never suspected drug addiction. Around others, she was very friendly and personable, but I was seeing a side they probably had never seen before.
I honestly thought it was the migranes causing her pain and, yes, I knew she was perhaps taking painkillers occasionally to deal with them as they occurred (which were daily, it seemed.) She did not try to hide the fact that she needed painkillers to sometimes alleviate the pain ... but, looking back, I am wondering if it was just "sometimes". She did confess to me that at one point she herself thought she may have had an drug abuse problem. She confessed that a month's prescription would last only two weeks and she had to find painkillers elsewhere ... usually from her good "friends" who just happened to have them. Ironically, all of the people she has remained "friends" with over time also suffer from such ailments as broken backs, slipped discs, etc. On one Friday night shortly after I arrived, she even told me "I feel like going on the Internet to find some painkillers because I cannot take this pain anymore." Again, I did believe she was in terrible pain from the migraines, but even then, never suspected prescription pain killer abuse.
She was working a part-time schedule when I first met her (again, due to her migraines) but has since been advised by her neurologist to not work at all. She has filed a claim for long-term disability due to her migraines but is being challenged on it. She has no income, lives in a home her mother owns, her mother financially supports her while she is out of work, and she has admitted she would not be able to take care of her children alone if her mother were not there. Her mother is also a target of her "wrath" when she is in her "cranky" moods but I think her mother has become used to it and learned to not question her either. Often times when we spoke on the phone, she would tell me that she just had a big argument with her mother and I can only wonder what it was about. And, she is constantly clashing heads with her son (age 6) and has admitted to hitting him and leaving bruises on him ... something she is very sorry for and terribly guilty and ashamed of.
Since I have known her, on more than one occasion, she has had to admit herself to the emergency room for a Demerol injection. After she admitted this to me, I decided to do some "investigative" work and found out that she has been suffering from these constant migraines for over 3 years and counting and the Demerol injections have happened quite often. I also found out the the man she dated prior to me was also "blown off" quite frequently because she was suffering from headaches when they were to meet.
I believe she is also obssesed with her desire to lose weight at whatever means possible. She has honestly admitted to me her past history of bulemia. Whenever we go out to eat, she is constantly leaving the table to go throw up ... or so she tells me. I have spoken to people who have had this surgery and, after 9 months, do not vomit as regulalrly as she does. She will call me and tell me, "I have a terrible headache, my son is being very bad again, but, I did lose 3 lbs." She weighs herself at least 10 times/day!
Throughout our relationship she had told me she "loves me" often and often thought she was not "good enough" for me. She had often said she was afraid that I would leave her because of her "medical condition". Once I finally began to ask questions about her use of pain killers and began to probe more, she suggested we end the relationship. When she suggested this I was in shock ... just two days prior to that she told me how much she loved me! When I asked her why, she said we were "incompatable" but couldn't give me specific reasons.
For a month, I tried and tried to figure out why, and, began "beating myself up" thinking it was something I had done or said. Yes, throughout the relationship, maybe I was too straightforward and critical of some of the things I saw. It was only until I told a good friend of mine who works in a local ER about what happened between us did I think maybe she is addicted to painkillers. My friend said she sees this all the time ... people looking for medication for pain for migraines. I do not know for certain that she is an addict but when I start to put all the pieces together, it makes sense to me. I even went as far as to call the local rehab facility and a counselor agreed based on what I told her.
When I asked the lady I had been dating if she was addicted, she accused me of being a "stalker" and never to contact her again. I was speechless because just one month earlier this lady told me she "loved me" and she was afraid that I would one day leave her. If she is indeed an addict, I don't want her to kill herslef and want to help her but she won't let me. Yes, I still do love her!
I am sorry to take so long to explain this all. I am lost, confused, and would appreciate any feedback you have. God bless you all and thank you for listening.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: bowling green ky
Posts: 201
My goodness! I don't know if she's an addict or not- but she certinly has some issues!!! Her anger is what concerns me most. What kind of life is this woman giving to her kids- and what kind of life do you have dating her.
I am in the Medical field- and throwing up constantly is NOT a continuing problem after a gastic bypass- sounds to me like binging and purging/ which is why she went from 200lbs to 135lbs I would guess.
I would say the painpills are a problem for her- but what about you? Do you worry about yourself or her all the time.
I will pray for you
(and her poor kids)
I am in the Medical field- and throwing up constantly is NOT a continuing problem after a gastic bypass- sounds to me like binging and purging/ which is why she went from 200lbs to 135lbs I would guess.
I would say the painpills are a problem for her- but what about you? Do you worry about yourself or her all the time.
I will pray for you
(and her poor kids)
~FEELS SO ALIVE~
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In A sTaTe Of HaPPiNeSS
Posts: 637
First i want to say that i am very sorry you had to go through all this heartbreak!!
From what you wrote i would say she has issues and lots of them!One being addicted to pain pills.Sounds like she needs anger management classes too!
Maybe you should consider going into therapy to try and understand why you would even put up with this kind of treatment for the amount of time that you did~You should not have to walk on egg shells around the person you are meant to be with..Just my opinion!!
Itsounds to me like she makes her self throw up her food as not to gain weight also! I am no expert on gastric bypass but it sure didnt sound right to me~
I really hope you can just let go of this and learn something from all this~
When you get a funny feeling that something isnt quite right ..follow it and walk away before you get hurt again~I am not saying you did anything wrong here ..Just trying to help you to avoid hurt in the future..If it walks like a duck and looks like a duck..its a duck~to me she sounded very mean and moody right from the start..Nobody deserves to be treated like that!
I hope you put your energy into moving frwd and not looking back~
******{bighugs}}}}]
From what you wrote i would say she has issues and lots of them!One being addicted to pain pills.Sounds like she needs anger management classes too!
Maybe you should consider going into therapy to try and understand why you would even put up with this kind of treatment for the amount of time that you did~You should not have to walk on egg shells around the person you are meant to be with..Just my opinion!!
Itsounds to me like she makes her self throw up her food as not to gain weight also! I am no expert on gastric bypass but it sure didnt sound right to me~
I really hope you can just let go of this and learn something from all this~
When you get a funny feeling that something isnt quite right ..follow it and walk away before you get hurt again~I am not saying you did anything wrong here ..Just trying to help you to avoid hurt in the future..If it walks like a duck and looks like a duck..its a duck~to me she sounded very mean and moody right from the start..Nobody deserves to be treated like that!
I hope you put your energy into moving frwd and not looking back~
******{bighugs}}}}]
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