VictoriaB

My sobriety date is 4-8-04. Some days are harder than others. I get so overwhelmed at times that I just can't imagine using again or not using again. I was a severe alcoholic and took prescription pills as well. I was close to death. You would that that in itself would be a reminder, but I loved to drink so much, I don't know any other way. I am trying and I attend meetings and am currently in a treatment program. Any suggestions on how I can make this easier? Right now I am taking one minute at a time.

In memory of miracle

Oh yea,I can ID with being scared!The good news is that if we let it the feeling passes.It says in the BB that "We were driven by a hundred different forms of fear" so know that you are not alone and it will get better.You alredy are doing things to make it better,by posting about it and taking it one minute at a time.Keep the faith.You have not been brought this far to be dropped on your butt ! Prayers to you ^ Trish

ted

HEY VICTORIA,6 MONTHS IS NO SMALL FEAT.
YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT HUH?
CALL SOMEONE,POST HERE,OR HIT YOUR KNEES WHEN THINGS GET BAD.
I WAS A BOTTOM OF THE BARREL DRINKER,1/2 GALLON A DAY BINGES THAT WOULD LAST WEEKS.
I'M LUCKY TO BE HERE MYSELF.
IT'S A ONE DAY AT A TIME THING,KEEPS IT IN PERSPECTIVE FOR ME.
I CAN'T,WE CAN.....................GODSPEED
.....ted

VictoriaB

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I forget sometimes (which is more often than I care to admit) what the BB has to say for "us" today, that is why I thank God that there is this website and people like you on it to help us through. Only God has the power, however, HE uses people like you as a vessel to get through to my thick skull. Sometimes I get sad and just don't feel "normal" because I can no longer drink. To drink for me is to die. I miss it sometimes, how about you?

VictoriaB

Ted - I have seen your responses to different persons on this site and you are always full of encouraging words. I had previously had 2 years of sobriety and lost it for another year, now I am back in AA again and living in Houston, Texas. It is as easy as I want to make it or as hard as I want to make it. Why do I go back and forth so much in my thinking. I guess I forgot everything I learned from my last relapse. I too drank like you did. I drank a fifth of rum everynight, and got up in the morning the last two weeks of my binge and had to drink before I went to work. I had never done that before. I was at the end. Alcohol is a beast. It can kill, by the time I got to the hospital I was 5 X the legal limit. Thank God I didn't die and thank God I had friends who are sober and took me to the hospital. I am working a good program, but some days that is not enough. Some days I have to be stronger than others. If I would just LET GO and LET GOD have it all, I would be OK, easier said than done. Sometimes I think I am just existing, not living.

In memory of miracle

To be honest,I miss it sometimes,but the part I miss I will never have again,the fun the relaxation of it were gone years ago for me.My disease tells me I can still have that but I recognize it as one of the lies it tells me today.Do I miss blacking out and waking up in jail?Do I miss the terrible mental punishment of remorse?Do I miss the awful physical and mental sickness? No..Thats what I haveto remember when I get nostalgic! 6 months is great !!

VictoriaB

Thank you so much Trish for your honesty, it helped to bring me right back to reality where I belong. I thank you for that. You are super. :tri

ted

I BET YOU KNOW THE SERENITY PRAYER
ASKING FOR HELP WAS REAL HARD FOR ME,STILL IS.
I KNOW IT'S THE ONLY WAY THOUGH!
BY THE WAY I CELEBRATE ON THE 8TH AS WELL.
PARTY IN 4 DAYS ....ted

smiler

Asking for help is difficult but what if the people u consider close friends turn their back on u. I am away from all my family and friends in the UK and feel that i have noone. Fear is the biggest thing i am feeling now that and the overwhelming urge to get straight down to the liquor store.... i don't know what to do.....

Dunitall

Smiler

You know you have friends right here and all round this planet of ours.

If your drinking buddies turn their back on you because you are sober, are they truly good friends??

Maybe you could find an AA meeting nearby. Just know that you are never alone. Being in another country presents lots of new challenges and in a sober confident state of mind, these challenges can become adventures.

Just for today, get outside somewhere, sample some new adventures and enjoy yourself.

Keep on posting.

Rich

findingout

Smiler,

What Rich said times two. I had a lot of "friends" disappear when it sunk in with them that I meant to stay sober for good one day at a time. On the other hand, I have some friends from the past (oddly enough, the ones who didn't drink that much) who I am closer to than ever. Plus, I have a group of new friends and associates I've met in A.A and N.A. that I wouldn't trade for anything. These people, old and new, know the recovering me and support the recovering me. I am so grateful for the support, friendship and help I have received. Who knew that all I had to do was ask?

It truly is all good (except when it's not and even then it's 100% better than it was)

Jah Bless