Readygo

I have a bachelorette party right about my 6 month mark of not drinking. I also would be a bridesmaid in the wedding but am going to be out of town.

Basically I feel I can’t mis the bachelorette party because I’m also missing the wedding. Not missing is fine with me on account that I’m sure I won’t drink, it’s more that I don’t want seem like a wet blanket by not going to her wedding and also not really par-taking in the typical shenanigans.

I don’t really want to go into the whys with her in front of the rest of the group who all know me as a partier and I don’t want to make myself so pre-conceived awkward that I end up sabotaging myself and act weird 😉

I guess I don’t know my exact question but I don’t want to tell her I have an issue and I don’t want to tell her I’m doing a day challenge. Why does drinking have to be such a deal at things? I also want to act as normal as possible in case I’m the only one blowing this up in my head!

golfreggie

Don't know how to advise, but your last question intrigued me. I'll bet "drinkers" never ask it, huh? It is never a big deal for those who want to and expect to drink.

biminiblue

Nikka posted a couple great threads about this recently, maybe you'll find something there:
(hers was about at her six months point, too. Spoiler: She did it!)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-wineries.html (Bachelorette outing to three wineries..)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...tte-party.html (I didn't drink at a bachelorette party.)

She also posted about the wedding:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ing-check.html (Sober wedding - Check!)

DontRemember

My thoughts.. Don't go into the "why's" with anyone. Be the responsible sober person. Once you get past the silliness that's drinking..it's really simple and smart. There will be "those people"..be glad you aren't them. Help your friend have a good time and relax. Drinking is just drinking..it can be lived without and most(all) are better without it.

Anna

I think it's important to know that you don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you are drinking or not. In my opinion, it's rude for people to comment on what you drink...or eat, for that matter. I try to not allow other people to make me feel awkward. Stay confident with what you know and who you are.

grayghost1965

In my personal experience, I have found that as long as I'm not interfering with someone else's drinking, they could care less if I'm drinking. A couple of tips:

(1) Don't let anyone else get a drink for you, especially if they are not aware of your efforts to stay sober.

(2) If you want to make it "look" good, have a seltzer or soda with a twist of lime.

(3) Look on the bright side, being sober at a bachelorette party pretty much guarantees you won't wind up on Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat in an embarrassing photo.

Dee74

I used to have these long essay explanations ready cos I thought everyone thought about drinking as much as I did.

They don't.
No thanks is all you need.

Don't let peer pressure or self consciousness lead you into making unhealthy decisions readygo

D

Readygo

Thank you everyone! Peer pressure is something I didn’t think I’d have to deal with so later on in life.... I’ll read the links too! I have time to keep my confidence growing and feel secure in my decision with others. And I have a few smaller events to practice at.

I have noticed that I obsesses more than others about how much drinking is happening. So often now I look around and watch people to see how much they drink and it’s usually a glass or two... what?! Why?? What’s the point?! 😜

Arpeggioh

I know, normal drinkers; what a weird bunch! "Oh, I've had two, I'd better quit, I'm feeling tipsy." Well, yeah, that's the point, keep going! You haven't even fallen down yet! Yuck, the bad old days...

hpdw

Hi , Can you not attend and leave early ? Ive saw a few of these nights both stag nights and hen nights and often they get split up at some point . You could make up a little white lie of some sort .

Rar

Can you make an exit plan in case the going gets tough?

Sobriety2018

Is this your 1st outing with friends since you decided to quit drinking? For me personally, the more I am out, the easier it becomes. I went out tonight while my friends boozed it up..and yes I was asked about not drinking..my response is I'm going on 4 months and I feel better not drinking!! Plus, no hang over tomorrow. Yes, it is weird going from a partier who gets wasted (that's me too) to the sober one..but when it comes down to it, is one night worth your 6 mo?! I never thought I'd say you can actually have fun minus booze..but I've said it more and more lately..lol.