Tv1

Ive tried this so many times. I threw up in my bed the other night and don’t even remember. 15 shots of fireball every day. If not that then it’s a liter of yager .. or a complete bottle of old grand dad whiskey. My body aches inside and out. I function well at work but when I get home I always stop by the liquor store and then drink till ten. I was diagnosed with severe anemia last August and was hospitalized for 5 days. Had two blood transfusions. Was told I had internal bleeding and a hatial hernia. But no doctor told me it was because of the drinking. They gave me an iron transfusion as well. I. Stopped for two weeks and was back to drinking again. I’m 48 years old and I have a ten year old son. I haven’t had a drink in two days. I’m trying to stop. Just venting. Thank you for reading.

ChloeRose63

How are you doing today?

Tv1

Today I feel like crap. But I slept better. Busy at work. Just commuting to not Drinking today.

Ladysadie

It's really hard in the beginning. You have an AV (alcoholic voice) telling you to keep drinking. Don't pay attention to it (hard to do when it's screaming in your ears!)

So many great reasons to get healthy. Your health, your son, being present in his life (being present in your life), having a memory of time when you are there for him, being clean (body and soul).

Drinking brings nothing but heart ache to you and your loved ones. I applaud your strength to try! It does get easier.

Meetings, SR and support from sponsors or sober people really help. Just don't isolate!!!

2muchpain

As they say, one day at a time. Stay busy and eventually that crappy feeling will go away. John

Jess1998

Welcome to SR! One of the things that really helps me is playing tetris because it takes my mind off of drinking to focus on the game. Remember that cravings only last around 9 minutes so if you can survive those 9 minutes then you can stay sober.

Komplex

Hi and welcome Tv!!! Great decision. I will commit to not drinking today with you!! We can do it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

Tv1

Thank you for the advice. I will try to start playing some fortnite or other video games with my son. Better than isolating while drinking.

Tv1

Yes. No drinking today. No alcohol at all. Hold me to it and I will do the same for you.

Komplex

Sounds good! We stay sober today, no matter what!

Dee74

welcome back TV1

I recommend this link to anyone wanting to stay sober:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html (What exactly is a recovery plan?)

Hevyn

Great to have you with us, TV1. This is a wonderful place for encouragement. Congratulations on your 2 sober days - we understand how hard it is & we're with you.

Verdantia

Hey there, Tv1. Good job on two days. Wishing you peace and strength on your sober journey. You can do this and be present and healthy for your son. Stick close by SR; it has been an enormous help to me in getting and staying sober.

D122y

Tv,

I remember being exactly where you are now.

What a horrid existence. The suffering I had to endure is hard to explain.

It was an off and on hell on earth.

I didn't find SR until I was 80 days clean. I was searching for answers as to why I still felt like hell after so many clean days.

It was crazy. I was working out, making it to work, but I was in a mind bending turmoil. Nobody knew, except for folks on SR.

Everyone's experience is different, but I thought I was going a little crazy. The truth is I was. I had enough odd symptoms that if I had went to a Dr. I would have ended up on some kind of mind altering drug.

I made it through with exercise, SR, and making a new life.

Hope this helps you.

Thanks.

The brain damage is real. Insanity is an end game for us addicts that can't stop.

anxiousrock

I really feel for you. It must be hard to go through health issues while being addicted to alcohol.
I hope you are able to continue being sober.
Going day by day does make it easier than looking too far into the future.

Tv1

Thank you so much for that. There is an AA meeting close to me. I’m thinking of going again. QUOTE=Hevyn;6821673]Great to have you with us, TV1. This is a wonderful place for encouragement. Congratulations on your 2 sober days - we understand how hard it is & we're with you.[/QUOTE]

Tv1

Made it through another full day and night of no drinking. Its funny. I was actually present last night and although hard, I slept better

I haven’t written or performed music in two years because every night has been an escape. During the day at work.. I am successful and productive. But at night all has been a waste

I have cap many questions on how to make it through the next week when I want to escape. I’m going to try exercise. I just know how it feels after a little time under my belt and I have a bad day. The instant comfort and fix of alcohol. I need to train my mind to search elsewhere for that solution.






QUOTE=D122y;6821845]Tv,

I remember being exactly where you are now.

What a horrid existence. The suffering I had to endure is hard to explain.

It was an off and on hell on earth.

I didn't find SR until I was 80 days clean. I was searching for answers as to why I still felt like hell after so many clean days.

It was crazy. I was working out, making it to work, but I was in a mind bending turmoil. Nobody knew, except for folks on SR.

Everyone's experience is different, but I thought I was going a little crazy. The truth is I was. I had enough odd symptoms that if I had went to a Dr. I would have ended up on some kind of mind altering drug.

I made it through with exercise, SR, and making a new life.

Hope this helps you.

Thanks.

The brain damage is real. Insanity is an end game for us addicts that can't stop.[/QUOTE]

Tv1

Thank you. I need to stop this abuse on my body before I destroy my liver. I have horrible acid reflux and have gained 40 lbs this last year. I am convinced it’s all calories from all the liquor because I barely eat.




QUOTE=Anarock;6821866]I really feel for you. It must be hard to go through health issues while being addicted to alcohol.
I hope you are able to continue being sober.
Going day by day does make it easier than looking too far into the future.[/QUOTE]

ChloeRose63

Remember every day you have without drinking alcohol gets you closer to becoming the wonderful person that you were meant to be! Life opens up when you are freed from the oppression of alcohol. Start really living again!

Tv1

Ok. So I went through my banking ledger and I spent over $300 from Feb 14 to March 14 buying whiskey and fireball at the liquor store. That’s so mind boggling. I drank all of it alone. Hiding it in my clothes drawer until it wakes all gone. Drinking on Saturday morning at 8am till Sunday night. Constant escape. I’m not drinking today. I am putting my money elsewhere