Sophie11

Hi all,

I’m absolutely thrilled to be going into my day 8, the longest I’ve been without alcohol in probably 10 years. So far I feel okay...at times anxious, irritable, emotional, with the odd craving... but for now I think I’m riding the wave of joy at NOT being hungover, at feeling empowered at my
success this time around, and finding my old self again.

However I’m wary that this honeymoon period will wear off and real temptation will set in. I know everyone is different, but I wonder if there’s any vague consensus (or even individual experiences) on what to look out for that may trigger relapses? I know I’ll need to be very careful on the anniversary of my mother’s death, for example.

Any other thoughts? Or is it all too personal to predict? Any opinions as to whether it’s wise or foolish to try to pre-empt them? (Maybe in thinking too much about it, I’ll subconsciously encourage myself to have a ‘wobble’ that I might otherwise blow right past! Or is it better to be prepared?)

Thanks,
Sophie

Berrybean

Thing is, we prepare ourselves for climbing the mountains, and often what causes us to stumble are the pebbles that we haven't spotted on the path.

I know that I didn't only drink alcoholically on the BIG stuff. Or just the negative stuff. As well as this place I also have AA, and the 12-step program of recovery is what has helped me personally learn to live life on life's terms, and find new and better ways of dealing with things than taking a drink.

Have you made a plan for recovery yet? If not I really would recommend this.
Dees thread is a good place to start... https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...y-plans-1.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

BB

Dee74

Hi Sophie

I tried to keep it simple.

I stayed away from alcohol centered affairs for a while, and I committed to trying to build a sober life I loved.

No matter how good I felt, I accepted that any thoughts I might be able to drink 'normally' again were lies.

I used the heck out of whatever support I had

I think as long as you keep it real like that, you can't go too wrong.

D

Sophie11

Ah! Just looked at the action plan thread you linked to and YES! That’s exactly what I need! I’ll start working on one. Ha, never has it felt so good to NOT be unique- to know that others have walked a similar path and can relate. Thank you for the responses!

Hopefor2018

My sobriety is so fragile right now. I fear the triggers too because it's just so easy to give in.

I know a recovery plan is key. Am working on it!

Rar

Hi Sophie! You are doing fantastic! Life is still going to happen and the same feelings will surface during your sober life that you drank to cope with. Also you will have situations and events that will surface too. That's life. They would have been there during your alcohol days too. As you face each feeling or event sober, you will be stronger and the next similar situation will be considerably weaker. During such times, I frequently smile to myself as I get ready to sleep, saying,"I did it!". The days will pile up and so, you will be even more empowered. Keep working your plan. One day at a time. A plan is essential, I think. 8 days is super!

time2shineagain

Congrats on 8 days, Sophie! For me personally, the real challenge starts around a month in. I've had 2 periods of around 6 weeks sober since May last year and both times I guess I lost my way. Let my guard down. Didn't have a solid plan in place.

I have 6 days of sobriety now and really hoping this is the one that sticks. I've started a journal of thoughts from the early days to read over once i start questioning things in a few weeks.

Sorry i can't be of better help, but wishing you all the best ❤

JayTee33

I'm in the same phase of recovery as you, Sophie, and I've had many of the same questions. Some great advice here. I did an action plan in the first few days after I committed to sobriety, and I've found myself referring back to it on a few occasions. It really does help. Best of luck, and keep up the good work!

ChloeRose63

I have learned to accept my emotions instead of trying to avoid or numb them with alcohol. If I am angry, sad, or frustrated I work thru it without even considering the option of drinking. It is sometimes hard but the stronger I get the easier it becomes. It is also very rewarding not to be controlled by alcohol.

entropy1964

I think the preemptive strike against relapse is really learning to practice the concept of acceptance. Its really very simple, but it's vast. It applies to everything. Taking alcohol off the table as a coping option 100%. I believe that is the foundation of recovery. If there are any reservations (maybe I'll drink in X amount of time, or if I'm on vacation, or if a meteor it screaming toward earth...yes I've thought that) those need to be honesty looked at and debunked. Absolutely no negotiation with the AV. None.

RetiredGuy

For me the key was finally accepting that I could not moderate my drinking. I went through countless attempts at giving up drinking. After a short period of time, my AV would convince me that it was easy to give up alcohol, so therefore I did not have a drinking problem. Then I would moderate for a short period before the drinking would escalate once more. It was a vicious cycle I am grateful to leave behind and I hope you do too!

Anna

I think that planning and preparing is so very important in early recovery. I think it can make the difference between success and failure. I discovered I could not be around alcohol, after attending a neighbourhood get-together. So, for many months I avoided people and places that involved alcohol. I couldn't risk it. This allowed me time to learn healthy ways to deal with life's ups and downs.

Gottalife

Hi Sophie. I can only suggest trying a few things and learning from the resulting experience.

For me, preempting relapse was an impossibility. I had a brain disease and could not use my brain to think my way out of it. I swore off in the mroning, and by evening I had forgotten all about that. I would be on my third drink when I would suddenly remember, but then it was too late. I did not see a single relapse coming, so preventive measures, other than having myself locked up, were completely futile.

It was useful to discover this as it helped me chose a succesful method of recovery that recognises these facts.

August252015

Lots of good comments above, especially from Dee, bb and Mike, with whom I usually agree.

I'll add two comments: not hesitating to turn down anything at all that "bothered me" even a twinge, and learning self-care. Being gentle with myself and both at some 20 days and now some 2 yrs, it's key to how I navigate life as successfully as possible.

Best to you.

doggonecarl

Off the top of my head, one of the major reasons someone gives for drinking after a period of sobriety is, "I thought I could control it this time." Another is the drinking-as-reward-for-being-sober.

Regardless of the reason given, the relapse usually starts well before the drinking. Which means you are either thinking about drinking, or thinking about things that lead to drinking.

If you are wondering what kind of thoughts to head off, it's thoughts about how wonderful drinking was, or thinking how am I going to get through ____________ without drinking. For ___________ you can insert wedding, funeral, Christmas, holidays, vacation, Bingo night...whatever. If you start thinking about the times where drinking seems appropriate, or impossible not to do, then you might be heading toward a drink.

If you are miserable in your sobriety, you might be heading to a relapse. Alcoholics are incredibly impatient and want to feel "good" in their sobriety right away. If that doesn't happen, then many think, "I might as well drink."

If you aren't learning to live and love the sober life, you might be heading to a relapse. Change is important as is learning to cope with the things you might have drank over. If you aren't changing, if you aren't learning to cope--with anger, grief, shame, guilt, remorse, sadness, anxiety, boredom, restlessness, discontent, failure, fear, past trauma, loneliness, or the million other reasons we drink--you'll drink again.