musings from a meeting in the metropolis
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musings from a meeting in the metropolis
A man, mid-40’s, uncouth and unkempt, weathered and unabashedly bold, vehemently expressed dissatisfaction with his girlfriend’s dithering (my word not his) ways; perhaps he thought it was Alanon, because his story encapsulated what seems to be the life of an alcoholic friend-and-family member.
A woman, mid-50’s I think, talked about having a physical. She didn’t go into great detail, but clearly the news was perturbing. I thought whatever she ailed from might be related to smoking, as her voice was raspy. Articulate but muffled. She looked ageless nevertheless, and I can only hope to look commensurately good when I get there.
A young woman, no older than 30, talked incessantly (almost for the allotted three minutes) about how – until a month ago—she couldn’t stop drinking wine, night after night, day after day, for the last three years –to the week. She sounded like a person possessed; she said something along the lines of ‘I had no choice, I just couldn’t stop.’ She sounded resoundingly unhappy. But her inflection echoed hope.
A man, around and about my age, seemed to be doing rather well. Looked sharped, with refined tone, tenor and temperament. A good-looking man, I thought. He didn’t sound like he was struggling, but his countenance exuded doubt. Had the brashness of someone two decades younger and the sagaciousness of someone two decades older. Idiosyncratically interesting he seemed.
Off to another meeting, this one NA; I’m in the throes of active recovery.
A woman, mid-50’s I think, talked about having a physical. She didn’t go into great detail, but clearly the news was perturbing. I thought whatever she ailed from might be related to smoking, as her voice was raspy. Articulate but muffled. She looked ageless nevertheless, and I can only hope to look commensurately good when I get there.
A young woman, no older than 30, talked incessantly (almost for the allotted three minutes) about how – until a month ago—she couldn’t stop drinking wine, night after night, day after day, for the last three years –to the week. She sounded like a person possessed; she said something along the lines of ‘I had no choice, I just couldn’t stop.’ She sounded resoundingly unhappy. But her inflection echoed hope.
A man, around and about my age, seemed to be doing rather well. Looked sharped, with refined tone, tenor and temperament. A good-looking man, I thought. He didn’t sound like he was struggling, but his countenance exuded doubt. Had the brashness of someone two decades younger and the sagaciousness of someone two decades older. Idiosyncratically interesting he seemed.
Off to another meeting, this one NA; I’m in the throes of active recovery.
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DD you kill me 
. That is more external detail about 3 people in one meeting than I think I have absorbed in all the meetings I've been to in the last 3 months. I go to two regular meetings and besides the regulars, I couldn't remember any of their faces....ages, attractiveness, or dithering girlfriends.
Was there any ES&H? That's what I go for.
Man I hope there aren't any obsessively observant newcomers in my meetings......maybe I should start wearing make-up
. That is more external detail about 3 people in one meeting than I think I have absorbed in all the meetings I've been to in the last 3 months. I go to two regular meetings and besides the regulars, I couldn't remember any of their faces....ages, attractiveness, or dithering girlfriends.Was there any ES&H? That's what I go for.
Man I hope there aren't any obsessively observant newcomers in my meetings......maybe I should start wearing make-up
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Frickaflip233: I’m glad you were amused. The man in his mid-40 shared his experience, the woman in her mid-50’s her strength, and the no-older-than 30-year old woman her hope. I always pay attention to the surface so I can discern what’s below. After all, the devil is in the details.
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Gottalife, one person who was counting days said she just got a sponsor and a copy of the big book and would start on step-work this week. Your (general) point does resonate we me: that the AA program of recovery is working the 12-steps, not going to meetings per se.
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Originally Posted by daredevil 
Gottalife, one person who was counting days said she just got a sponsor and a copy of the big book and would start on step-work this week. Your (general) point does resonate we me: that the AA program of recovery is working the 12-steps, not going to meetings per se.
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G, the reason I decided to work the steps was because you made the apropos gym analogy: that going to meetings and not working the steps is like going to a gym and not working out. That was a great metaphor –but I got that from you, here at SR; sadly, been to over 100 meetings but not once was that point made nearly as effectively as you made it.
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thanks DD, it is really kind of you to say that. It really makes my day to know I might have been helpful. I wish I could take the credit for the analogy, but I am sure I pinched it off someone else. 38 years sober in AA and I am yet to have my first original thought
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One thing that I have learned about myself is I separate myself from the crowd. In everything I do. I'm either one up or one down. Rarely am I squarely in the middle, with the rest of the herd...no better than, or worse than. I could probably go into a very long winded analysis explaining why I believe I do this. But that would be really boring. It is sneaky and probably at the very core of my addiction. It is really hard for me to trust, to be one of, to be 'with' the rest of humanity (or the rest of the AA meeting). I struggle with it daily.
These feelings I've shared may have absolutely nothing to do with how you relate. Its just what this post, and some others, have brought up for me.
However, if you think you may relate at all I suggest the following experiment. Think of yourself in yesterdays meeting. Analyze 'you'. The external, the demeanor, the dress, the relative attractiveness. Then think about what ES&H you shared. That might be where the growth and recovery happens.....or at least starts.
And if I'm off the mark completely, toss this post out the window
These feelings I've shared may have absolutely nothing to do with how you relate. Its just what this post, and some others, have brought up for me.
However, if you think you may relate at all I suggest the following experiment. Think of yourself in yesterdays meeting. Analyze 'you'. The external, the demeanor, the dress, the relative attractiveness. Then think about what ES&H you shared. That might be where the growth and recovery happens.....or at least starts.
And if I'm off the mark completely, toss this post out the window
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