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Off topic born or raised or choice on addiction

Old 03-12-2018, 11:21 AM
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Off topic born or raised or choice on addiction

I’ve been told different theories and wanting opinions about do you believe you are born an addict raised to be an addict or your endless use of alcohol or drugs made you an addict ??? I believe I was born an addict I have a very addictive personality ant a very young age 13... what worries me is my kids going to be the same and there kids or being raised in that environment have play on their outcome??? Just wanting your important please!!!
Thanks y’all have a good day
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Old 03-12-2018, 11:42 AM
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Maybe all of the above. Babies are born heroin addicts if the mum used whilst still in the womb.

All the men on my dads side were alcoholics including him.
My brother is and I am. I don’t believe in coincidence.
But the culture in my town or the north of England was to work and drink.
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Old 03-12-2018, 11:57 AM
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Probably a mix of “nature vs nuture” in my opinion. I think a person can be predisposed but based on environmental factors, their resilience to life stressors and influences around them etc - these play a large role as well? I think once the line is crossed though it matters not how you got there, you cant go back.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:00 PM
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Bout right that avra
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:01 PM
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I'm of the opinion that it doesn't really matter so much. I am an alcoholic, and the solution is the same no matter how I got here.

I am the only alcoholic in my entire family, none of my parents, grandparents or uncles/aunts nor my siblings are or were. I was also raised in what would likely be considered a "textbook" nuclear family. So I would seemingly have neither the hereditary nor environmental factors that would make me more likely to be an alcholic - yet I definitely am.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:04 PM
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I pretty much agree with Scott, trying to figure out the "why's" of addiction can get very frustrating with no concrete answers. I prefer to use that energy towards remaining sober. But it is a good and common question.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:05 PM
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Aside from newborns whose mother was an active addict during the term and who actually experience withdrawal when removed from the host (mother), no-one is born an addict.

Addiction is caused by prolonged or chronic use of a substance. Some types of personalities are predisposed to addictive behaviors, whether it involves drugs, alcohol or anything else for that matter. Obsessive compulsive disorder comes to mind along with a myriad of other 'diagnosis'.

But unless one chooses to imbibe, one will never 'become' an addict. Addiction is a "learned behavior" that can get away from someone. It can be "unlearned". Unfortunately many don't recognize it until it becomes a serious issue.

Many use the "my grandfather and his grandfather were alcoholics..." etc. excuse. There may be something to it. But overall, this does not prevent someone from quitting or sobering up. Once your body is free from use, a certain time period for the physical dependence to subside, the rest is totally in your mind. How one learns to deal with reality is the toughest part of overcoming addiction. Others will give suggestions on how to cope whether it is group therapy or individual counseling. Trying to do this alone may be very difficult.

I've always said there are two parts to this. First part is quitting drinking (or other), the second fixing yourself. Think of it as having surgery for a torn knee, then the physical therapy to recover from the surgery. Except, quitting is the surgery, mental therapy is the healing. Some may need more than others, some just need to quit. We are all different in that sense, but as addicts, we are all the same.

This is all just my opinion of course, because I don't have a medical or psychology degree. But I'm smarter than the average bear...
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:13 PM
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It’s interesting, nevertheless.
In the end yes it is what it is the one way switch has been flipped and we need/needed to have a rewire. By staying clean and letting nature take its course.

Marvellous thing the human body.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:23 PM
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Everytime this subject comes up I think of South Park season 9, episode 14 "Bloody Mary"
I am in no way making fun of your question by the South Park reference.
I would have to agree with Scott and LBrain on this one
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:24 PM
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Nature, nurture, genotype, phenotype? There is no absolute scientific proof.

With respect to my own addiction, it doesn't matter. I am. The treatment? Don't drink. And learn how to be an adult.

There is no doubt that children of addicts are far more likely to have a whole litany of behavioral, developmental and emotional issues...including addiction. Of the five kids in my family, 3 of us are addicts with mental health issues, one is not an addict but has debilitating mental health issues and the last...well, dunno, he seems to have turned 'ok'. Although he's kind of an azzhat.

I watched my parents drink daily, my father to extreme excess. And here I am. An addict.

Important: Kids don't do what parents say because they are too busy doing what they DO. Period. So the best antidote: Recover and don't use drugs and alcohol around your kids. And set an example of how to deal with life on life's terms. Kids watch their parents like hawks. Its how they learn. All the gabbing in the world just goes in one ear and out the other.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:42 PM
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Naturally, it is different for every individual to a certain degree. I feel that you can pretty much compartmentalize every alcoholic into a small number of variables.

Me personally, it was a predisposition with some environmental impact and self-medication (from an unstable child-hood, divorce parents). I drank beer, smoked weed and as I matured those indulgences eventually went away.

The first time I drank liquor, which was a Martini, it tripped a breaker in me neurologically.

When we bought our house, that was the environmental aspect. It allowed me the comfort of drinking at my own disposal.

I don't accept anything without knowing the details behind it.

I naturally gravitate to finding comfort in details. I've followed the breadcrumbs and I've come to the conclusion on how I became and alcoholic.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:43 PM
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Reason I thought of this was cause my son said when he gets older he wants to drink beer and I told him no because it’s nasty and bad for you then he wanted to know why do mom and dad do it then which I’m trying to stop just question came to mind
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:52 PM
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My path as an addict was pre paved to bring me to where I am today. If I over analyze, I get in trouble and think I can beat the addiction. So I don't like to complicate things and just accept them as they are.
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Old 03-12-2018, 12:53 PM
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When I was drinking, it was well away from my son. He has no idea what is behind curtain number #1. Now, the chances of my wife being pissed off at me at some point and saying your dad is working out in the yard and too busy drinking, well, that is a possibility.

My wife doesn't drink, but her dad is 70 and puts a six pack (give or take) away every day. Her mom does not touch alcohol. Both of my in-laws parents, from what I've heard, I would consider them (they've passed) as alcoholics. My mother and father are not. My dad's father died of cirrhosis at 55. He was an alcoholic.

Try to chart that and make heads or tails.

But as far as my son goes, I will definitely have the talk with him. On the other hand, he lives in a very controlled environment with loving parents, positive reinforcement and guidance.

He will get the peer pressure lecture along with anything else that he can use as a tool for success.

I think that it goes without saying, that I'm thinking the same as you xNx.
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:02 AM
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I used to think about that stuff too Nichole but in the end, I didn't need to know the answer in order for me to stop drinking.

Whether it's nature, or nuture, or both - we can get sober and stay that way

D
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Old 03-13-2018, 03:21 AM
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Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx View Post
Reason I thought of this was cause my son said when he gets older he wants to drink beer and I told him no because it’s nasty and bad for you then he wanted to know why do mom and dad do it thenwhich I’m trying to stop just question came to mind
early recovery can have some deep thoughts and questions. i think something that would help is to sit down and write out how alcohol effected you over the years. maybe discuss with your son all of the negative impacts alcohol can have on a persons life.
i read," which I’m trying to stop .."
how long have ya been sober,nichole? if you work on you and change for the better, that can be a positive impact in itself on your sons opinion.
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:22 PM
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I wanted to answer before reading any other replies, so o wouldn’t be influenced. If I repeat something already said - I’m sorry.

I believe it is a mixture of the three. I believe I was born both to a family full of addicts and also with a brain that worked a little different then some other folks. I believe the way I was raised and the events that took place in my childhood left me with a constant desire to escape. I made choices on how to escape. It wasn’t magic for me like some people talk about. I didn’t love drinking as a teen. It actually scared me to feel that relaxed. I loved many drugs, but not drinking. As I got older I drank more and more while drugging. I eventually quit drugs and used alcohol as an everyday escape from reality fo another 10+ years. So I think MY answer to your question is yes, for a lot of different reasons I’m an alcoholic and I cannot safely consume alcohol.
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:27 PM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post
how long have ya been sober,nichole?
Not long enough to matter things doesn’t seem to be working with me guess time for a different approach
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:29 PM
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Thanks for replies I tend to look for the meaning in everything and try to figure out how things work In life
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:32 PM
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I have learned from the old timers here to accept what is ,is . I can no longer drink alcohol an I accept this 100 percent . However I asked the same questions as you many times over the years and never got definitive answers . My personal opinion is all three elements can overlap at some point in out lives . I have heard of men and women becoming alcoholics when they retire from a responsible job in their 60s .
Me ! I loved the taste and effect of alcohol at 13 years old.
There are so many stories so many different situations and circumstances . If you find the truth please let us know .
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