8DC

I signed up a while back but thought I could go it alone and set myself a goal to drink less and have no blackout nights in 2018. Well that lasted 2 weeks in January. I managed 20 days no alcohol then a few 5 day runs but always trip up.

It’s now Mid March and I need to get back on track (after another heavy weekend)

Thanks for reading x

D122y

Bdc,

For me, I had to understand there was brain damage.

Parts of my brain have been badly damaged by the booze.

Those parts are the ones that provide me natural dopemin. Booze damaged and altered the neural pathways.

Those pathways are gone forever. It takes a long, long, long time for the brain to develop new routes. Many months. The whole time I am faced with off and on anxiety and obsessions.

With my continued drinking the damage gets worse and worse to the point of insanity. It is a very slow process, so i didn't see it. Plus, i was physically addicted.

Many folks need anti depression meds etc. for the rest of their lives.

I had to develop a new life style. I am aware now. I can work through my brain damage without over reaction or relapse.

Hope this helps you.

Thanks.

doggonecarl

Welcome back. And what's the goal this time?

Dee74

Welcome back 8DC

what do you plan to do differently this time?

D

Nonsensical

Welcome back.
What's the goal now, and how can we help you get there?

8DC

Thanks for the replies. I want my Goal to be the rest of March dry... But I almost don’t want to set that as my Goal as I know I will fail :-( So perhaps it should be till this weekend (Saturday) and see how I feel then?... Cx

Rar

So it's 5 days until Saturday. I didn't feel very good at 5 days. Don't think many of us did.

doggonecarl

That mindset just about assures failure.

Want to succeed? Commit to quitting and accept never drinking again. Then do everything you can to support that decision.

biminiblue

I haven't blacked out since I quit drinking.

If I left drinking as an option I definitely would have. Who knows if I'd even still be alive.

This merry-go-round you're on will always end in remorse, regret, self-loathing and illness.

Been there. The far easier route is completely stopping.

Nonsensical

It isn't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for certain that just ain't so.

A mistake I made repeatedly when I was still addicted was believing everything I thought.

You can do this.

LexilynnCarter

Good luck!

Avra

This bears repeating. This is so true. If your telling yourself you will fail you wont succeed. Telling yourself you will fail is setting up your excuse to drink when it gets hard. And it will be hard sometimes. But its very doable and it does get easier. But your not starting off on the right foot telling yourself you cannot.

Verdantia

I'm glad you're back, 8DC. You don't know you will fail, but I understand well the feelings of absolute hopelessness and defeat, anger and self-hatred. I never thought that I could stop drinking but I had that tiny moment of clarity when I realized that I actually wanted to live and my death was a very real possibility if I didn't stop.
If the thought of the end of March seems undoable, don't think that far into the future--think perhaps one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time.
SR has been a great help to me in getting and staying sober. Stick close by here and lean on us. I'm rooting for you.

LexilynnCarter

Dee74

I think not wanting to set a goal cos you'll fail is the wrong mindset 8DC

with determination, a good plan and a willingness for a little short term self sacrifice I believe you can get sober and stay that way

There are some great ideas on plans etc. here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ery-plans.html (Psst...wanna know why I'm always recommending recovery plans?)

anxiousrock

I agree with others. You have to take it one day at a time.
For me as well the thought of never drinking again seemed like a sure failure!
But taking it one day at a time is a more reasonable goal and for me, leads the way for more positive thinking!