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Old 03-11-2018, 07:41 PM
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New to SR

First time posting, 42 days sober and counting. Have taken up journaling and writing throughout this journey so far. Not very big into sharing but thought maybe I should give it a try. Just some ramblings and a reminder to remain grateful and to fight on, if you are bored enough to read! :P. Hello to all my fellow warriors out there!




Binge-watching television series has become a hobby of mine during my early recovery. Like any addict, I still crave an escape from myself. Albeit it a bit anticlimactic in terms of how helpful it is towards my recovery, I was surprised to find one night that something was sparked within me, something that reached the very innards of my human nature. It happened during a show about survival.

Despite the extreme fictional basis of the program, I somehow came to realize that this show was actually very reminiscent of the world we live in. That war and survival are, and always will be, a reality. I found myself teary eyed over this, feeling a great deal of sadness for the world and all of its problems. I began to wonder what it must be like for these survivors. I thought about how grateful they were for the simplest of life’s graces – food, water, and a place to sleep.

How wonderful it would be if people of this modern world were as grateful for such things – but the fact of the matter is, we simply aren’t. I think of the sort of things we worry about and how silly it all really is. Although I have always felt a sort of disconnect with our society, and a sense of disgust toward what people as a whole have become (myself included), I have never fully deciphered the reasons behind it.

The happenings of the show triggered the realization within me that in a modern Westernized world we never had to fight for our survival - it was handed to us (for the most part). There was no real right of passage, no sort of physical battle to overcome. I was born and fed and sheltered until adulthood.

I wonder, as an addict, was I trying to create a right of passage for myself? Digging myself into a hole so deep so that I would later have to fight my way out? I had in fact created a constant battle of survival, tucked away within a life full of food water and shelter. Maybe it is human nature? Maybe my spirit craved to earn this life it was given. Maybe addicts, are really just lost warriors trying to find their way in this modern world.
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Old 03-11-2018, 07:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Newway7 View Post
First time posting, 42 days sober and counting. Have taken up journaling and writing throughout this journey so far. Not very big into sharing but thought maybe I should give it a try. Just some ramblings and a reminder to remain grateful and to fight on, if you are bored enough to read! :P. Hello to all my fellow warriors out there!




Binge-watching television series has become a hobby of mine during my early recovery. Like any addict, I still crave an escape from myself. Albeit it a bit anticlimactic in terms of how helpful it is towards my recovery, I was surprised to find one night that something was sparked within me, something that reached the very innards of my human nature. It happened during a show about survival.

Despite the extreme fictional basis of the program, I somehow came to realize that this show was actually very reminiscent of the world we live in. That war and survival are, and always will be, a reality. I found myself teary eyed over this, feeling a great deal of sadness for the world and all of its problems. I began to wonder what it must be like for these survivors. I thought about how grateful they were for the simplest of life’s graces – food, water, and a place to sleep.

How wonderful it would be if people of this modern world were as grateful for such things – but the fact of the matter is, we simply aren’t. I think of the sort of things we worry about and how silly it all really is. Although I have always felt a sort of disconnect with our society, and a sense of disgust toward what people as a whole have become (myself included), I have never fully deciphered the reasons behind it.

The happenings of the show triggered the realization within me that in a modern Westernized world we never had to fight for our survival - it was handed to us (for the most part). There was no real right of passage, no sort of physical battle to overcome. I was born and fed and sheltered until adulthood.

I wonder, as an addict, was I trying to create a right of passage for myself? Digging myself into a hole so deep so that I would later have to fight my way out? I had in fact created a constant battle of survival, tucked away within a life full of food water and shelter. Maybe it is human nature? Maybe my spirit craved to earn this life it was given. Maybe addicts, are really just lost warriors trying to find their way in this modern world.
What show? I do believe addicts are indeed lost souls/humans/ect... I know I was. I didn't know which way was up towards the end of my drinking. I had built up money,homes,businesses and at the end I was operating with the mentality of a spoiled 6yr old... on a good day.
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Old 03-11-2018, 08:05 PM
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New,

I watched a documentary this weekend on the refugee crisis displacing hundreds of thousands of people. And how we (Americans) have struggled for none of the necessities. Here, if a person can't access their cell phone for a day, s/he is in crisis mode. I think the latter group would have a greater proclivity yo addiction of any sort. Good points.
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Old 03-11-2018, 08:20 PM
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Welcome to SR, Newway; very glad that you found us!
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Old 03-11-2018, 08:40 PM
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The Walking Dead, appropriate name for the topic too if I do say so myself lol!
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Old 03-12-2018, 05:57 AM
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Hi Newway
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:20 AM
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Welcome, Newway! Great job on 42 days. I like to binge-watch too; my landlord installed Roku and I rediscovered Mystery Science Theatre 3000--my bingeing is usually humorous in nature. Glad you're here--wishing you all the best on your sober journey.
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Old 03-12-2018, 08:30 AM
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Welcome Newway. Congrats on your sobertime.
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Old 03-12-2018, 11:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Newway7 View Post
I wonder, as an addict, was I trying to create a right of passage for myself? Digging myself into a hole so deep so that I would later have to fight my way out? I had in fact created a constant battle of survival, tucked away within a life full of food water and shelter. Maybe it is human nature? Maybe my spirit craved to earn this life it was given. Maybe addicts, are really just lost warriors trying to find their way in this modern world.
Hi, Newway, your post resonated with me. I was blessed with an easy life, then a struggling life; then I found alcohol quelled the troublesome thoughts. But instead of rising and fighting as a warrior soul, I was defeated, and consequently drank more and more. Drank myself into a veritable pit of despair.

Then, at a low ebb, I found the fight to rise once more and please believe me, my life is amazing now. Was it worth losing years over? Possibly, because I have clarity, vibrancy, joy over the smallest of things (raindrops, frost, bird song, dog licks, laughter, smiles, hugs) all of which I’d taken for granted and previously ignored.
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Old 03-13-2018, 12:19 AM
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Welcome to SR newway

D
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Old 03-17-2018, 01:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Tatsy View Post
Hi, Newway, your post resonated with me. I was blessed with an easy life, then a struggling life; then I found alcohol quelled the troublesome thoughts. But instead of rising and fighting as a warrior soul, I was defeated, and consequently drank more and more. Drank myself into a veritable pit of despair.

Then, at a low ebb, I found the fight to rise once more and please believe me, my life is amazing now. Was it worth losing years over? Possibly, because I have clarity, vibrancy, joy over the smallest of things (raindrops, frost, bird song, dog licks, laughter, smiles, hugs) all of which I’d taken for granted and previously ignored.

Thanks for sharing your story! Very validating and similar to my own. I am rediscovering the beauty of life as well, and although it isn't always beautiful, trying to feel and accept the negative parts too - Feel my problems away, not numb them. It's amazing how we have to relearn such things. Glad you found your way, hope to be there soon.
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Old 03-17-2018, 01:50 PM
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And thank you all for the welcome and kind wishes 🙂
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Old 03-17-2018, 01:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Verdantia View Post
Welcome, Newway! Great job on 42 days. I like to binge-watch too; my landlord installed Roku and I rediscovered Mystery Science Theatre 3000--my bingeing is usually humorous in nature. Glad you're here--wishing you all the best on your sober journey.

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 - doesn't ring a bell for me, maybe I will check it out, feel another Netflix binge coming on as I hide away from the St. Patrick's Day temptation 😛
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