My Ego, My Addictions,My Wasted Life..
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Join Date: Mar 2018
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My Ego, My Addictions,My Wasted Life..
Hi I am a 47 year old male addict with many problematic issues that have held me back from ever really succeeding in life or giving to society or community in any shape or form. My selfish attitude has always reasoned why to allow my hedonistic lifestyle of piggish habits continue year in year out.
I am sure many people on this site obviously have many similar issues and thus this is why we are here.
Big love to you all, hoping we find the light health and well being before our lives finish.
My life has been very EGO based and I have immersed in drugs and alcohol to levels that make me sick to think I have ruined many relationships and many many chances I could have made good off and become a solid functioning member of society but my no limitation indulgent selfish attitude has sacrificed any chance of happiness and decent future..
I have been trying to achieve sobriety from age of 13 and have had a few small stints of sobriety in the past few years; my best being 211 days.
If I am not feeling like a worthless piece of crap I am usually in the grip of a mania of how ******* amazing and smart and what a legend I am.
Its ******* so sad and sick and life is passing by fast.
I have two young children now a 2 year girl and 4 year old boy and I am 10 days sober and these kids need love and a decent mentor, I keep choosing wilful blindness which serves no good for these children.
I come from a unloved broken home and have this huge chip on my shoulder cause of it, but need to turn it around and make sure these beautiful kids don't lose the father to heart attack , drugs , alcohol..
34 years of procrastination -- disgusting cycle I can't break presently!
I am sure many people on this site obviously have many similar issues and thus this is why we are here.
Big love to you all, hoping we find the light health and well being before our lives finish.
My life has been very EGO based and I have immersed in drugs and alcohol to levels that make me sick to think I have ruined many relationships and many many chances I could have made good off and become a solid functioning member of society but my no limitation indulgent selfish attitude has sacrificed any chance of happiness and decent future..
I have been trying to achieve sobriety from age of 13 and have had a few small stints of sobriety in the past few years; my best being 211 days.
If I am not feeling like a worthless piece of crap I am usually in the grip of a mania of how ******* amazing and smart and what a legend I am.
Its ******* so sad and sick and life is passing by fast.
I have two young children now a 2 year girl and 4 year old boy and I am 10 days sober and these kids need love and a decent mentor, I keep choosing wilful blindness which serves no good for these children.
I come from a unloved broken home and have this huge chip on my shoulder cause of it, but need to turn it around and make sure these beautiful kids don't lose the father to heart attack , drugs , alcohol..
34 years of procrastination -- disgusting cycle I can't break presently!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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Originally Posted by Bondiboy13 
Hi I am a 47 year old male addict with many problematic issues that have held me back from ever really succeeding in life or giving to society or community in any shape or form. My selfish attitude has always reasoned why to allow my hedonistic lifestyle of piggish habits continue year in year out.
I am sure many people on this site obviously have many similar issues and thus this is why we are here.
Big love to you all, hoping we find the light health and well being before our lives finish.
My life has been very EGO based and I have immersed in drugs and alcohol to levels that make me sick to think I have ruined many relationships and many many chances I could have made good off and become a solid functioning member of society but my no limitation indulgent selfish attitude has sacrificed any chance of happiness and decent future..
I have been trying to achieve sobriety from age of 13 and have had a few small stints of sobriety in the past few years; my best being 211 days.
If I am not feeling like a worthless piece of crap I am usually in the grip of a mania of how ******* amazing and smart and what a legend I am.
Its ******* so sad and sick and life is passing by fast.
I have two young children now a 2 year girl and 4 year old boy and I am 10 days sober and these kids need love and a decent mentor, I keep choosing wilful blindness which serves no good for these children.
I come from a unloved broken home and have this huge chip on my shoulder cause of it, but need to turn it around and make sure these beautiful kids don't lose the father to heart attack , drugs , alcohol..
34 years of procrastination -- disgusting cycle I can't break presently!
I am sure many people on this site obviously have many similar issues and thus this is why we are here.
Big love to you all, hoping we find the light health and well being before our lives finish.
My life has been very EGO based and I have immersed in drugs and alcohol to levels that make me sick to think I have ruined many relationships and many many chances I could have made good off and become a solid functioning member of society but my no limitation indulgent selfish attitude has sacrificed any chance of happiness and decent future..
I have been trying to achieve sobriety from age of 13 and have had a few small stints of sobriety in the past few years; my best being 211 days.
If I am not feeling like a worthless piece of crap I am usually in the grip of a mania of how ******* amazing and smart and what a legend I am.
Its ******* so sad and sick and life is passing by fast.
I have two young children now a 2 year girl and 4 year old boy and I am 10 days sober and these kids need love and a decent mentor, I keep choosing wilful blindness which serves no good for these children.
I come from a unloved broken home and have this huge chip on my shoulder cause of it, but need to turn it around and make sure these beautiful kids don't lose the father to heart attack , drugs , alcohol..
34 years of procrastination -- disgusting cycle I can't break presently!
You may want to consider taking that boot of self-loathing off your neck and show yourself some of that Big Love. I tried to hate myself into sobriety for 25 years. It never worked. Treating myself like a friend who needed my help worked a lot better.
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
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