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What do you do?

Old 03-09-2018, 05:19 PM
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What do you do?

What do you do when your spouse is accusing you of sleeping with all the neighbors? He just called and left a message accusing me of sleeping with a black dude (his words) and if he raped me? I’m so over his bull*hit. He’s using (drugs) again so I’m sure he’s out of his mind. I’m not responding to him. The only time I’ve responded to him today was about appt he had for our business. Im sure his state of mind doesn’t look good professional wise. I’m at home and hope he doesn’t come home. Unfortunately I’ve been drinking to try to drown all this out. I don’t have anywhere to go.
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:22 PM
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God, please help me.
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:30 PM
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God might help you, but drinking won't. You're in a tough spot but drinking will just make it worse.
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:32 PM
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There a women’s shelters that can help you. If you fear for your safety, you should consider contacting your local one. Also, you are not the first they’ve seen with drug or alcohol problems,
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:34 PM
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I’m sleeping with my clothes on and contacts in, to make a quick get away just in case he comes home. I shouldn’t have to live like this. I’m too ashamed to talk to my handful (less really) of friends about this.

I left the house this morning after my oldest got on the bus and drove around for 5 hours. I could’ve made it to another state in that time. But I have nowhere to go. I have a little one to look after too. I don’t want his life to become chaotic, but if I stay home it is. Even when I’m sober. I can’t take it anymore.
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:35 PM
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I’m not rally worried about my safety, more along the lines of my sanity.
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:40 PM
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Is there a shelter you can call locally Jillian? You don't have to live like this and what he's doing is a crime - literally and legally.
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:47 PM
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There are a lot of resources in this link Jillian - I'm sorry things are so awful right now.

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...out-abuse.html (About Abuse)
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Old 03-09-2018, 05:51 PM
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I don’t know if there is and honestly I don’t want to go to one, especially since he’s not home. I e thought about taking my kids and myself to a motel, but again he’s not home so I feel like it’s a waste of money. But I also don’t want home to come home in the middle of the night when I’m sleeping. I’ve stopped drinking and am laying down now. He’s just called again, and ignored it. Haven’t talked to him since last night. Just getting his texts and vm. All accusing me of sleeping with every male he can think of.
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Old 03-09-2018, 08:31 PM
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So he came home shortly after I fell asleep. Took my truck and the keys to the other truck. I called the cops cause I’ve had enough. But the officer said it was “marital” property so he couldn’t do anything.
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Old 03-09-2018, 09:04 PM
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I'm sorry this is happening Jillian. This doesn't sound like a safe place for you and your children. Do you have family or friends nearby you can stay with? Drinking is only going to make the situation more complicated. You can stay sober, and it is worth it for you, and your children.
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Old 03-10-2018, 02:39 AM
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Well I guess he’s going to jail. He came home about an hour ago and got in my face. I called the cops, he left. The cops say when he comes back to call them and he is going to jail. So now I have to figure out my life.
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Old 03-10-2018, 04:35 AM
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I'm sorry Jillian but it sounds like he's not leaving you a lot of choice right now. Keep yourself and your kids welfare foremost.

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Old 03-10-2018, 06:43 AM
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Originally Posted by Jillian2563 View Post
Well I guess he’s going to jail. He came home about an hour ago and got in my face. I called the cops, he left. The cops say when he comes back to call them and he is going to jail. So now I have to figure out my life.
I'm glad you called the police Jillian, and please do so again if he comes back. Quite frankly jail is where he belongs right now if he's abusing you and on drugs. I hope you can reach out to see if there are any women's communities/shelters in your area - there almost assuredly has to be. You could ask the police or your social services department if they have any suggestions - there is definitely help out there.
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Old 03-10-2018, 07:07 AM
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They're all suggesting good things, aren't they? I don't have any advice, I just wanted to stop by and give you my support so you know people are on your side. I hate feeling alone.

I know this is a difficult thing ~ just reading your posts made my stress level go up.

Prayers for you, stay sober and stay safe
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Old 03-10-2018, 07:44 AM
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I also don't have any advice other than the good advice already given. You are being abused. If he's on drugs, there's no telling what he'll do. His mind is already altered as evidenced by his accusations of you sleeping with others and the control issue of the keys. Take care of yourself and your little one.
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Old 03-10-2018, 08:06 AM
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How are things Jillian? At least if he is in jail he cannot abuse you or your children.
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Old 03-10-2018, 08:20 AM
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Jillian, there are lots of great resources available to you which will help you to figure out your life. I'm sorry you're going through this, but know that there is help available to you:

Domestic Abuse Defined

Abuse Defined - The National Domestic Violence Hotline

International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies

Abuse information and support for every woman and every girl on Earth
Home « HotPeachPages International

National Domestic Abuse Hotline (US)
Home - The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Canada
Canada: domestic violence information « HotPeachPages International

UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
https://www.qld.gov.au/community/get...-getting-help/
call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis center
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
800-655-Hope
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Old 03-10-2018, 08:25 AM
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Hey. He came back and swapped vehicles and gave me the key. So now I have his dirty work truck, but at least I have a vehicle now. I still haven’t and won’t talk to him as all he is doing is sending me vm and texts accusing me of cheating. He’s left me vm crying asking why I e done this him. I have never been unfaithful to him.

But I just got in the work truck and found a box of condoms. My heart sank. None are missing, but I don’t know what that means. We donjunk removal so I’ve seen it all, and it could very well be trash from a job, but then again, why would they be in the cab.

I went to the bank to deposit a check I had but the funds won’t be available until Tuesday. I ha e $20. Luckily I have diapers and wipes and milk. I’m sure a friend will loan me the money if I really need it.

My whole world is upside down. I don’t know what the hell il going to do.
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Old 03-10-2018, 08:26 AM
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And I don’t know if the police have a warrant on him or if they are just putting it on me to call them if he returns.
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