lessgravity

30 days sober today. Longest I've been sober in 4 and a half years (think I clocked 37 days in 2013).

I've turned a corner this time, for what that is worth.

My beast has only been able to send up silly, half-hearted whines from his cage. Just slight pangs and nostalgia for the drink that I now truly see and feel are separate from me. I watch the semi-urges rise and then float away and rather than feel like I'm missing out or sacrificing, I feel sure and strong in soberness.

I joined SR almost 5 years ago. I posted a lot then, came and went. I find this place to be invaluable and crucial to my progress as a person who doesn't drink.

I'm going to AA meetings, 1-3 a week, and I always enjoy being at them, hearing stories, seeing the camaraderie. I think the Steps are a beautiful way of embracing life - whether you have a problem with the sauce or not. But I don't like calling myself an alcoholic. I don't like thinking of "living in recovery" - RR. Jason Vale and Naked Mind are more in tuned to the way I like to think. But that's just me and I have to hold fast to what motivates me not to drink.

I'm looking forward to getting a couple months under my belt and having everyone in my life know I'm a non-drinker.

I could go on and on. But I think what also feels differently this time -
not that I'm over confident, not that I don't expect the pink clouds to pass, not that I am out of the woods now or ever - is that I do not feel like I am sacrificing.

I think that's so important for me, maybe for others. I am NOT SACRIFICING by giving up that insidious, societallly accepted poison. In fact, instead I can see all I sacrificed on the altar of my addiction to it - health, mental strength, family, spiritual peace, money, dreams, etc... I want to regain and fortify those things that I sacrificed. And I can only do that sober.

I'm not sure where I even got the refrain that inspires me and keeps me focused - no one is coming to save me . But every time I write it or say it I feel a surge in me of strength and self-worth.

Thank you again SR. Stay strong everyone.

No one is coming to save me.

SayAnything

Inspirational! I, too, was here about 4 years ago. I quit for almost 6 months. What I learned was how hard it is to just get another day 1. I'm hoping but not sure this time is different.

Thank you for sharing.

biminiblue

You've saved yourself.

Well done on that first month. May you have hundreds more.

ChloeRose63

You are an inspiration to me.

Scramm

Excellent work! You got this my friend.
I can appreciate your view on the labels alcoholic and recovery having a negative ring in most people's mind. The DSM V now uses the term Alcohol Use Disorder which takes away much of the stigma and acknowledges that alcohol abuse and addiction is a continuum. I am a fan of Naked Mind but am unfamiliar with the other programs you mentioned. Could you please clarify for me?
Thanks

Dropsie

Great post!

daredevil

I liked Vales's book too--effective messaging. A bit redundant I thought but a good read nevertheless. I like your point about not being defined in 'recovery;' using recovery as a crutch seems to me to be almost as unseemly as using the sauce as a crutch. But aLess, the sauce has entrenched itself in the psyche indelibly. Hopefully, with time, for me, recovery won't be the bane of existence.

joandmelandhan

lessgravity I have been following your progress with great admiration over the last 30 days. I find your posts to be very insightful and if it counts for anything I really do think you have a great shot at this with your current mind-set and approach.
Congratulations!!!!!
Your are inspiring others too I'm sure!

lessgravity

RR is Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey. A lot of his book (can find on amazon) is planted in my subconscious - especially the way in which you can see your urges to drink as coming from your AV (alcoholic voice) which he labels (and I love using) as the beast. He gets some flack on this site and elsewhere, can be a controversial figure. Like all ways of getting this beast under control, I think he has great insight and some opinions best not fully embraced. Not that I'm putting down AA in any way shape or form.

Whatever gets us clean, you know?

Komplex

Way to go LG!! I’m glad you’re here.

Scramm

Nothing dealing with the human mind can be one size fits all. Thanks for sharing. I am intrigued with alternative theories and programs and will check it out

ZenButterfly

Yes. There is something about this disease/addiction that causes us to become so helpless. I live alone and my family is far away so nobody was around to be bothered by my drinking.

I think I really wanted someone to come and save me from myself. In a sense it requires us to grow up and face the truth head on. I don't know why that is so difficult. I suppose that's where the denial part comes in.

Anyway congratulations on your 30 days, well done!

Scramm

I like trimpeys premise of free will and the mind-body distinction. I don't like how he ravenously attacks 12 steps and other programs. Takes away from his credibility imho

Dee74

Congrats on 30 days Less

D

lessgravity

I just read this. Thank you so much. Made my night.

Outonthetiles

You can do this, lessgrav. Thirty days is fantastic.

SnazzyDresser

I like the way you're thinking, lessgravity. You're doing great, good job on 30 days.

Nonsensical

I love it because I get the same surge every time I read it.