We have children, he uses meth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 1
We have children, he uses meth
I found out 6 weeks ago my husband has been using meth for TWO YEARS. I knew something was off but I was blinded and believed him when he told me nothing was wrong. You all already know the excuses I fell for. Ok, so we have 5 children, one is 3 months old. Before I even knew about the usage, I already made a rule that the kids aren't in his care ever. When I was in the NICU with our sick baby, I found out he was literally asleep the entire time I was gone. I didn't know about the usage or withdrawal he was going through but as soon as I heard that I paid for my children to be watched everyday until I came home with baby. My husband owns a failing business and after it came out he claims he uses to try and keep the business alive. I'm heartbroken. I don't know what to do. I love him, but he's only nice when he's using 
. I wrestle with the idea of leaving but then I know I would most likely have to share custody and I think I can protect my children better here. Sigh, it's so hard. I know he used the last 8 days, so the next week or so he will do a lot of mean talking and blaming me for his problems. I just wish he would see what he is doing, and that the drug is not helping anything.
. I wrestle with the idea of leaving but then I know I would most likely have to share custody and I think I can protect my children better here. Sigh, it's so hard. I know he used the last 8 days, so the next week or so he will do a lot of mean talking and blaming me for his problems. I just wish he would see what he is doing, and that the drug is not helping anything.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 471
Your post brings me back to my own struggles. My addict's DOC was Meth. I I am so sorry you are experiencing this horror.
Sadly, if he is using every day - he may be nice while he's using but that won't last forever. Meth actually creates brain damage (not sure if it is reversible or not - but it happens while they are using).
I would suggest educating yourself about the progression of Meth use for the sake of making plans to take care of you and your children.
If he doesn't stop using, this will get worse. And even if he does stop, that is no guarantee.
The children will ultimately suffer as this gets worse - and I feel your concern about protecting the children in case of shared custody. That's where you need to be clever. (Katie Holmes did it right). Have some documented evidence of the issue and get a lawyer well in advance of taking any action.
The questions are - what do you want to do, and when do you want to do it?
I don't know that there is really a good time or a perfect plan. Naranon helped me tremendously - and this site.
Empathy for the sadness and grief this must be bringing you and hope that your HP gives you the clarity that will help you.
Sadly, if he is using every day - he may be nice while he's using but that won't last forever. Meth actually creates brain damage (not sure if it is reversible or not - but it happens while they are using).
I would suggest educating yourself about the progression of Meth use for the sake of making plans to take care of you and your children.
If he doesn't stop using, this will get worse. And even if he does stop, that is no guarantee.
The children will ultimately suffer as this gets worse - and I feel your concern about protecting the children in case of shared custody. That's where you need to be clever. (Katie Holmes did it right). Have some documented evidence of the issue and get a lawyer well in advance of taking any action.
The questions are - what do you want to do, and when do you want to do it?
I don't know that there is really a good time or a perfect plan. Naranon helped me tremendously - and this site.
Empathy for the sadness and grief this must be bringing you and hope that your HP gives you the clarity that will help you.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Hopeful, and Welcome!
I am so sorry to hear all you are going through right now. I hate addiction and all that it does to individuals and families.
Please take some time and read around the boards. You will find a wealth of information at the "stickies" post at the top of this forum (Friends and Family of Substance Abusers).
Good job protecting your sweet babies! It sounds like you may have a few decisions to make. The good news there is that you don't need to make them all *right now*! Take your time, learn all you can, protect yourself and your babies, and just make one decision at a time when you feel comfortable.
You will be supported here no matter what you decide to do
Hang in there! S
I am so sorry to hear all you are going through right now. I hate addiction and all that it does to individuals and families.
Please take some time and read around the boards. You will find a wealth of information at the "stickies" post at the top of this forum (Friends and Family of Substance Abusers).
Good job protecting your sweet babies! It sounds like you may have a few decisions to make. The good news there is that you don't need to make them all *right now*! Take your time, learn all you can, protect yourself and your babies, and just make one decision at a time when you feel comfortable.
You will be supported here no matter what you decide to do
Hang in there! S
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i'd say an appointment with an attorney should be your first stop. then you are informed of your rights and possible next steps. this is not something you want to try to navigate on your own.
NO meth user should be around children EVER. and meth isn't something you can talk him out of. things are probably much worse than he has admitted, and much more than you are currently aware.
NO meth user should be around children EVER. and meth isn't something you can talk him out of. things are probably much worse than he has admitted, and much more than you are currently aware.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 224
Hopeful, you have received excellent words from others already. I know it can't be easy to hear. Wishing that he wakes up and suddenly changes is not a plan that protects you or the children. What steps are you willing to take to start a plan? I know mean talking and blaming me along with all the other side effects of living with active addiction was soul crushing.
Please read all you can about meth addiction as well as SR's excellent "stickies" regarding your own recovery. You are responsible for you and as the sober parent, also your children. I hope you continue to post and let us know how you are getting on.
GM
Please read all you can about meth addiction as well as SR's excellent "stickies" regarding your own recovery. You are responsible for you and as the sober parent, also your children. I hope you continue to post and let us know how you are getting on.
GM
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