dawnrising

So the universe just continues to provide me with pushes in the right direction. One of my AH friends contacted me last night out of the blue. Letting me know that he has been praying for myself and the kids. He said " I am just guessing here but I see AH as being very emotionally cold at least that has been my last experience with him." He then let me know that he was there if I ever wanted to talk about it. I shared some of our experiences and what was going on but I gotta say it was so refreshing to know that someone else had seen and experienced a fraction of what our little family had and then reached out to tell me to let me know I wasn't alone. It meant the world to me. On another note I took your guys advice about the secret behavior of my AH and warned my children about what was going on. I let them know that if they are asked to conceal or if they see something they don't need to worry about devastating me. That I already know whats going on and its all part of the disease and it has nothing to do with me or them.

Bekindalways

Hi Dawnrising, sounds like things are going well. I haven't read your other posts so don't know your entire story. What else are you doing to take care of yourself and seek support?

DontRemember

Is Ah friend married or in a relationship? Seems kinda odd to me that his friend is calling you..could just be me,but I just don't see myself ever making that phone call. If I were you I'd keep my guard up with his 'friends' for a while.

Edit: Just the quote that his 'friend' opened with sounds shady as hell the more I read it. Again..might just be me.

trailmix

It seems odd to me as well - but - I don't know if you already had a close relationship with this person and his family?

That might be a bit different.

Glad you are sounding more grounded though. How are you doing?

dawnrising

Dont Remember AH friend has no interest in me at all just a very good man. I have to be careful with my words because I know AH still reads my posts on occasion. As far as taking care of myself I am doing well. I still attend alanon, therapy and just last week had a ridiculously fun night out with 8 friends. I think the message from the friend validated for me that all this behavior from AH is not about me. I shouldn't need validation outside myself but what can I say Im still a work in progress.

FireSprite

Over the years, I've had a couple of my husband's friends reach out with these kinds of sentiments - meaning, appropriate displays of support & not icky vulture-like behavior - and like you, it was nice to have the validation but nicer to realize I no longer needed it. But it IS nice to know we're not crazy no matter when that information arrives, lol.