Bailybree

Hello, I am recently dealing with learning my husband had done heroin for about 2 months. During that time I felt him become distant. He worked out of town so there was only a couple days we were together. Once he told me his problem I have been so angry and worried for him. In the past we have had problems from him taking prescription drugs here and there. Heroin was something I never expected him to touch. He told me I needed to let it go because my anger and stress just her. I had so many questions but he made me feel the problem was over because he chose to quit but he had to tell me what he had done. I made a list of questions and he answered each one. Truthfully I don't know but he answered them. He agreed to drug tests but I have yet to give him o e. For a while things felt normal and like he was back to himself again. Recently I have felt him being distant again and have asked him if he was using again and he says no. But I still feel he is hiding it from me and lying. I don't know if I'm wrong but I hope I am. I'm worried that I will now always be this way and constantly worry if he's using again. Should I have him take a drug test or just back down? I've threatened to leave but I can't seem to get past the fear of actually doing it.. Any advice,concerns reality checks ect are welcomed. Thanks.

johnnie360

Listen. I dont know if you have kids. But if you dont, then Id suggest you leave him. Heroin is a beast. A monster need that can never be filled. I just spent two years with and addict who was "merely" on meth before making the forever life changing choice to get hooked on DARK. Your husband is becoming distant because he has found a new love.

There are truths to be found all over this site. Addiction is progressive. It will get worse and worse before it will, if ever get better. Your addict who you at this time will think is unique will become just like the rest. You stand to lose everything you hold dear. You will live in HIS darkness. As he slips further and further away you will certainly think there is something you can do. But there just isnt. You are here because you already cant take it. It will eat at you. You will watch the person you once knew become someone different right before your eyes. There will never be normallacy. Dope will become all there is. If you go anywhere together they will have to get high. You will nag him and he will leave you alone to go get high with people that dont bug him about it. While he is gone you will wonder who he is with and what he is doing.

You can't do much for him. Ask yourself if you would ever consider doing some heroin and why you wouldnt. Then question if you want a partner who makes such choices. I promise you depths of pain you never thouight you could feel. It will age you. You will become as sick as him. You will be crazy and your not even the one on drugs.

Ive searched high and low for happy endings to heroin. I just havent found any. I think that 95% of those on heres happy endings to heroin involved leaving the addict and finding healing for themselves. Some waited many years. Some are still in it.

Look I am not trying to disuade you.

Ive been around long enough to know this to be true.

Heroin is like the devil. The thief who has come to kill, steal, and destroy.

Words like health, healing,hope, happiness, future, success, well being, certainty, security, love, and all those things normal people want have no place in heroin addiction.

My older brother married thelove of his life who becameaddicted to opiods. It took everything from them. Halfa million dollars, and the american dream gone. They got back together two years later after she got clean. Slowly hefelt better than ever and she relapsed. Only this time she didnt go on in the addiction. She shot herself in the head. It broke him. He asked me do I really want that life? If she gets better do I want to live in the reality of relapse at any time. For her to be gone at the grocery store too long and to have to wonder what she is doing. It took me a lot of self inflicted pain and horror to finally say no. She and your husband are addicts. She was once unique. But now a statistic. We are the ones left hurting. Those drugs are in the drivers seat. If you are able to come second to drugs, then third, then last, then you are tough and strong.

I had to close the door to an already empty room. No one here is lying when they will tell you it gets worse and that your pain will be ongoing. You can hope and think okay today will be the day, they simply can'tgo on any longer. But they can, and do. Something about the heroin in particular. Its reptile like. It makes them hollow. Empty. Dead. Ive never seen anything like it.

I hope the best for you.

Troubledone

I don't know if this will help, but on my journey, I have discovered that the real work is on myself.

What is it in me that keeps me hooked (and I have been hooked on my addicts - multiple - for a very long time)

Each time I show myself compassion for the suffering I am in, and seek the wounded place in me that keeps me hooked to my addicts, I find a little better place of freedom and the ability to let go a little more with love.

I think the hard part of Heroin is that it is indeed a life-changer. It is like being possessed and the only way out of that is for the addict to seek help of a professional and stick with it. And, they don't ever do that as long as there is someone around allowing them to stay in denial.

It is VERY hard because we all know that the addict may choose life or death - quickly or slowly - and to let go with love means we would need to accept that they will choose what they choose and we have no control over it.

I hope that you can begin to find your way out of this dark wood. Accepting the full reality of this with compassion for your own suffering is a good start. Learning to let go with love (a VERY VERY hard practice) is part of it.

There is always hope - even when the worst happens. Try to remember that.

Love and Prayers...