Why I am here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 73
Why I am here
Hi All
I am a newcomer to this site as such I thought I would introduce myself and tell my story as it is.
I am 29 at the moment and decided to quit drinking before I turn 30. My relationship with alcohol is and has been complex starting when I was 13 and continuing up to now.
In my teens and up to 20-21 my drinking was way out of control. I recognized early on that my motivation with drink was often escape from the world. I would drink to oblivion alone often and usually for no reason which I could see.
I got a tighter hold on my drinking after then limiting myself much more successfully and to my surprise was not known as a heavy drinker (in the context of the Defense forces). However the problem remained that while I could and can got to the pub or over to friends houses and have a drink with out incident I seem to reserve the real drinking for when I am alone. For it is when I am alone that if I know I can get away with it I will drink way to excess.
Now I know that perhaps my drinking to many people may not sound overly excessive as I didn't drink every day or even generally drink much more than a 6 pack when I did drink. The problem is for me that while its still manageable now I feel it pulling at me and I have even had to call in sick a few times to avoid blowing numbers at work in the last year.
Finally I decided to give myself a break and take a year off from drinking, assuming that as I really didn't drink that much it would be easy after a few weeks.
Now I am here because last night after 69 days booze free I drank. I had thought that the desire to drink would have gone but instead it seemed to disappear for a while and then come back stronger. I had noticed in the days prior to me choosing to drink that there was a almost overwhelming desire for me to drink. I could not push the thoughts out of my mind. And then finally I gave in and got drunk.
This tells me that I am an alcoholic as to me if I was not an addict then I would not crave it months after my last drink. So yeah I have joined this site as a way to talk to others who share the same bent as myself and hopefully to find ways to remain strong as I go on.
I am a newcomer to this site as such I thought I would introduce myself and tell my story as it is.
I am 29 at the moment and decided to quit drinking before I turn 30. My relationship with alcohol is and has been complex starting when I was 13 and continuing up to now.
In my teens and up to 20-21 my drinking was way out of control. I recognized early on that my motivation with drink was often escape from the world. I would drink to oblivion alone often and usually for no reason which I could see.
I got a tighter hold on my drinking after then limiting myself much more successfully and to my surprise was not known as a heavy drinker (in the context of the Defense forces). However the problem remained that while I could and can got to the pub or over to friends houses and have a drink with out incident I seem to reserve the real drinking for when I am alone. For it is when I am alone that if I know I can get away with it I will drink way to excess.
Now I know that perhaps my drinking to many people may not sound overly excessive as I didn't drink every day or even generally drink much more than a 6 pack when I did drink. The problem is for me that while its still manageable now I feel it pulling at me and I have even had to call in sick a few times to avoid blowing numbers at work in the last year.
Finally I decided to give myself a break and take a year off from drinking, assuming that as I really didn't drink that much it would be easy after a few weeks.
Now I am here because last night after 69 days booze free I drank. I had thought that the desire to drink would have gone but instead it seemed to disappear for a while and then come back stronger. I had noticed in the days prior to me choosing to drink that there was a almost overwhelming desire for me to drink. I could not push the thoughts out of my mind. And then finally I gave in and got drunk.
This tells me that I am an alcoholic as to me if I was not an addict then I would not crave it months after my last drink. So yeah I have joined this site as a way to talk to others who share the same bent as myself and hopefully to find ways to remain strong as I go on.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 3
I can relate to your story. I haven’t had a drink for nearly 3 weeks and am struggling to come to terms with the fact I’m an alcoholic.
I would only drink weekends, but I would drink to excess.
I feel nervous about the future at the moment, not sure if I can go without alcohol- which really just confirms that I am an alcoholic!
What doesn’t help is that here in lovely England, we have been snowed in for the last week (this country can’t cope with adverse weather). I’m hoping that once I can get out and about again, I can focus on anything other than needing a drink.
Good luck and you’re not alone.
I would only drink weekends, but I would drink to excess.
I feel nervous about the future at the moment, not sure if I can go without alcohol- which really just confirms that I am an alcoholic!
What doesn’t help is that here in lovely England, we have been snowed in for the last week (this country can’t cope with adverse weather). I’m hoping that once I can get out and about again, I can focus on anything other than needing a drink.
Good luck and you’re not alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Alcoholism is a sneaky and tricky disease. And, when I knew I had to stop drinking, I was overwhelmed with the idea to continue drinking. I'm glad you recognize that you are an alcoholic and that you are here and ready to change your life. 
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Stockport/Greater Manchester/Cheshire
Posts: 911
Welcome AW.
Now you have recognised the problem ( which is a major step well done) you can act on it.
If you let it the booze will chip away at your mind , body and soul until it has your pants round one ankle and you can guess the rest.
Be wise, get the tools you need & don’t waste any time thinking you may be able to control it.
Life without alcohol is the best way.
29 years old is a good time to stop. ( it’s always a good time to stop)
Try not to let youth be wasted on the young.
I’m 42 in a week. I am starting to feel the endless energy I had start to deminish.
That gives you at least 13 years to run around doing the millions of things that don’t involve booze without getting tired. ( I can only speak from how I would have done things)
It would be so easy to wake up when you’re 40,50 ...... and think I have to stop today I have wasted too much life. Then still have a beer.
Good luck
Stay strong
Take care
Now you have recognised the problem ( which is a major step well done) you can act on it.
If you let it the booze will chip away at your mind , body and soul until it has your pants round one ankle and you can guess the rest.
Be wise, get the tools you need & don’t waste any time thinking you may be able to control it.
Life without alcohol is the best way.
29 years old is a good time to stop. ( it’s always a good time to stop)
Try not to let youth be wasted on the young.
I’m 42 in a week. I am starting to feel the endless energy I had start to deminish.
That gives you at least 13 years to run around doing the millions of things that don’t involve booze without getting tired. ( I can only speak from how I would have done things)
It would be so easy to wake up when you’re 40,50 ...... and think I have to stop today I have wasted too much life. Then still have a beer.
Good luck
Stay strong
Take care
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