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First time poster. Figured I would share a little

Old 03-01-2018, 08:02 PM
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First time poster. Figured I would share a little

So a little background on myself before we get started, my name is Chris, I am 28 years old and from North Carolina. Recently married in october of 2017 and also bought a house that same month. I have read several stories on here and thought it may be a little liberating to tell mine, so thanks in advance for reading and or responding.

I was charged with a dwi and open container, along with a few traffic infractions that caused the initial stop back in june of 2016. My case was finally settled about a week ago and I plead guilty to dwi and the subsequent traffic violations were dropped. This has given me a mixed bag of emotions, but we will circle back to this after the story of my dwi, and my coming to terms with the thought of being an alcoholic.

So I guess the starting point in the story is several years before all this when I decided that there was nothing wrong with having a few beers to relax after a long week. This quickly transferred into having a few after a long day and then transitioned into having serial just because beers during dinner. After a few years of this I never would have thought of myself as am alcoholic because I could wait until days off work and would also generally only drink in the afternoons or at night. Fast forward a few years and you will find me every night I'm not at work taking a 12 pack home, finishing it and then deciding whether I should go buy some more or not. I learned that there are 2 bad things that happened to me after drinking. One was that after so many I only wamted more. The second was that after having more I always found myself needing to be or go somewhere else. To say that I got caught my first time driving drunk would be a lie.

So me and some buddies decided to have a going away party for a friend. This decision came following me already having killed my first 12 pack of the night. So after deciding it was happening I got in the truck, bought more beer and was on my way. After making it to the site there was quite a bit more drinking. And finally a decision was made to go ride around on the farm some. After several minutes of that it turned into lets leave and go find some grub. This is about 1 in the morning, and things get a little fuzzy here as I was quite intoxicated. After leaving we are on our way back towards my house on a road I have driven a thousand times probably. There is a point where the speed limit lowers and I decided I didn't have to. Was clocked at 41 in a 25, this was the first ticket. After seeing blue lights and i realized life as I knew it was over, I failed to realize the light I was going under was red. This was ticket number 2. As the officer approached the vehicle I could tell this was not going to go well. As soon as I opened the window he started asking about the odor of alcohol and also about the open beer can in the console. About 2 minutes later I was out of the vehicle and performing or more correctly attmepting the field sobriety test. Long story short I failed miserably. After this the cuffs went on and I was taken to the local police department for a chemical analysis. I blew a 0.17 the first time and 0.15 the second. Luckily the officer was quite polite, he did issue a citation for every curable offense he could but it didn't go without cause. He did not elect to take me to jail and at 4 in the morning I was released from the magistrates office to make the humiliating phone call for my mother to come pick me up. The next few weeks are also a blur as it was like living in a dreamscape. So during this time I was able to stay employed, keep my drivers license and in essence live my normal life out. Now fast forward a liytle over a year. Having gone back to being comfortable my drinking habits quickly picked back up and again I was behind the wheel while obviously not in a position to be. Ended up at a point where I was almost involved in a crash and was fortunate enough to not have that occur. This was the second time I had to take a good hard look at my drinking and decide if it was a problem. Decided it was and took actions to change it. Stopped for a little while and slowly started back to having a few to loosen up. This is kind of where it stalled. Then came my final court date and conviction. Was convicted of the dwi with everything else being dismissed. Had a really good lawyer and was thankful for him walking me through the process and setting realistic expectations. He never once told me I would get out of it but instead talked me through what I should prepare for, although I was in no way expecting or trying to get out of it. I was willing to accept my consequences for the crimes I committed and for the people I put in danger that night. His honesty and straightforwardness is what made me decide on him as my counsel. So in circling back to the mixed bag of emotions about this situation being resolved in court anyways. So first off I am so glad to be at a point where I can move forward with getting through the legal hurdles and feeling like this is going to be behind me soon enough. The bad part of this is that I am required to have an ignition interlock and as such was not able to stay employed where I was at. So after just buying a house unemployment is a very unsettling thought. But I found myself stressed and thinking "man I could really go for a few cold ones". I haven't drank in about a week and a half. Doesn't seem like much but to me it seems like a pretty good while. What scares me is thinking that having a few would help ease the stress of what having a few caused. This has opened my eyes that my drinking is a problem and as such I am attempting to move forward with sobriety.

Sorry for such a long post. Maybe somebody will read it and connect. I look forward to being a member here and moving forward with this chapter of life. Thanks.

Last edited by Onmyhighway; 03-01-2018 at 08:12 PM. Reason: Accidently hit submit button before I finished typing.
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Old 03-01-2018, 08:50 PM
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Welcome OMH....glad your here & posting. I had 3 DUIs in my life, the last one I lost my license for a year & required to have interlock for 2 years. The financial part was near 10,000. When I went to court I was one of the last ones called & there was 2 people being arraigned for manslaughter, drinking. & driving. Be grateful & keep posting & reading here.....such a better life without alcohol.
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Old 03-01-2018, 09:08 PM
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I got my 2nd dui a couple years after I joined this site. That was around 2yrs ago now..I think..but, I still drank to handle the 'stress' of the court outcome. That changed one day when I was driving and a car pulled out in front of me. I had one beer before leaving home and have no clue how I missed hitting this lady,but that 1 beer was all I thought about and I have only drank(got trashed and did stupid stuff again...shocking!) once in almost 14mo now. Life is just simpler without it and I like to keep it simple.
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Old 03-01-2018, 09:41 PM
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Thanks for the replies. It seems like a long road ahead but just putting my head down and getting through it. Seems like the courts want to help with the issue but some things seem quite redundant. I have been very fortunate that nothing more severe came from all of this. It seemed likely something worse could have happened given my level of impairment. And so far from all the post I have read it seems like a great place to connect and reach out. Looking forward to all that has to come.
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Old 03-01-2018, 09:54 PM
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Doesn't sound like you're quite convinced. What would it take? I shudder to think. Your story mirrors mine in many ways. Give it some thought. "Just what would it take to convince me beyond doubt?" I know, and the answer ain't pretty. Could be felony, could be twisted steel. Are you feeling lucky? Wish I'd listened the first time...
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Old 03-01-2018, 10:09 PM
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Welcoem Chris

I don;t have any experience to share regarding DWIs but this is a great site for staying sober - welcome!

D
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Old 03-01-2018, 11:10 PM
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Welcome Chris,

I had two DUI's over a 30 year drinking period. The DUI's didn't make me alcoholic nor did they make me want to stop drinking. I wish I was smart enough to figure out after the first DUI that I was an alcoholic. I didn't know what an alcoholic is and what defines them as one. So I will give you why I label myself as an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic for two reasons, 1) I crave more alcohol when I drink it. 2) I obsess about drinking alcohol when I am not drinking it.

Non-alcoholics don't crave to drink more when drinking.

All the shame, guilt and remorse that you are feeling will go away with sobriety. The first 30, 60, 90 days are the toughest of all. It does get easier and it is much easier if you get a sobriety program. So I would suggest using AA, SMART, or some other popular recovery program.

Good luck
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Old 03-02-2018, 04:18 AM
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Welcome to SR. There's lots of wisdom, support and understanding here. You're not alone. Please read and post when you feel like it. I'm looking forward to getting to know you.
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Old 03-02-2018, 04:49 AM
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Welcome to SR OMH👋 This site has been really helpful in keeping me sober the last few months.
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:43 AM
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Welcome, Chris! I'm very glad you are here. This place has been a great help for me in getting and staying sober.
A week and a half of sobriety is excellent. Keep up the good work and stick close by here. Lots of advice, experience and hope here with people who get it and want to help. Wishing you all the best on your sober journey.
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Old 03-02-2018, 11:45 AM
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Well convinced is a strange word. Ive convinced myself I have a problem, then convinced myself I didn't. The more I look back on it tho the more I realize that there was a problem. And looking at it now I realize it is a recurrent problem. Nothing wrong with a beer at dinner, but then it becomes a cycle of wanting more. Then it inevitably ends with me getting plastered and waking up the next morning realizing the issue has returned, seems the simplest solution is to not have any at all. Much easier said than done although this is the point I am at right now. Drinking has broken me financially and emotionally so from here on out I will abstain from it. Not saying I won't need help. This place seems like an awesome place to vent and to also listen.
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Old 03-02-2018, 05:17 PM
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We're here for you Onmyhighway. You're not alone.
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Old 03-02-2018, 06:34 PM
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Welcome Chris, sorry to hear you’re having a tough time mate. Are you familiar with the concept of an ‘Addictive Voice’ or ‘AV’, you’ll hear a lot of people far more knowledgeable on this topic talk about it?

I’ve always thought of your addictive voice as beginning the moment your addiction essentially becomes self-aware, and starts taking over your mind. When you feel like you’ve convinced yourself you don’t have a problem - despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary - that’s your addictive voice at work there. Like I said, I am by no means an expert on this, but just some food for thought.
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Old 03-02-2018, 07:05 PM
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Hi Chris

I had no off switch once I started drinking so the best option for me was to not have any too

Turns out to be on e of the best decisions I ever made. I don't think you'll regret it either

Welcome aboard

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