Dtrue97

I have depression and anxiety and find the only time I’m not worrying is when I’m taking drugs or drinking. This weekend I went to a big event at a club with a gram of MD and had already drank two bottles of wine along with other alcoholic drinks. I didn’t feel as though the MDMA bad hit me and was talking to two friends in the smoking area about it. They said to me that I could have a pill from them but they couldn’t give my friend one as they didn’t have enough. I ask several questions including their full names I asked if they had taken some there self and tried to get a feel of the type of people they were. They seemed nice and at this point I was very drunk and had high amounts of MD in my system and made the stupid choice to take this pill despite the fact that the boy wouldn’t tell me what it was he just ensured me I’d be okay. Within half an hour I went from feeling super happy to being sick and feeling out of my body. I fell several times and was in control but an hour of my night has completely slipped my memory. Because of the way that I felt I believe that the pill he gave me was ketamine which is used as a date rape drug. At first I wasn’t worried as I thought I’d been with a friend for the full hour but it turns out she left me, she doesn’t know how long or where she left me but she knows she left me for a while. This scared me as I could’ve been sat anywhere in that cloud for an hour by myself. So today being the day after I am extremely concerned about what happened in that time but know I’ll never fully know because I was stupid and made a very bad choice. I just wanted some advice as I never slept last night and I won’t sleep again tonight as every time I shut my eyes or look into darkness I have flashbacks. I believe them to be from the time I blacked out but when a certain figure walks up to me in these flashbacks I become very uneasy and have twitches throughout my body. If anybody has any advice or support on what I should do from here I’d really appreciate it.

Berrybean

Hugs to you.

My suggestion would be to get some help to find new and better ways to deal with your depression and anxiety. You do realise that alcohol is a depressant right?

This weekend is just an example of one of the ways abusing alcohol makes our lives unmanageable. I know it may be hardbtk see this in a positive light at all right now, but you are ALIVE. Nothing horrendous that you know of happened (it's unlikely you'd have been returned to where you were, or found your own way back there if something did happen). This could act as a catalyst for you turning things around and making changes in your life if you let it.

You deserve better from life. But only you can make that decision.

BB

Dee74

I'm sorry for what happened DTrue.

The likelihood is that nothing bad happened, but yeah it's a not a smart move to take pills from people you son;t know..

I agree with Berrybean that there are other ways to deal with depression and anxiety.

For me self medicating with alcohol and recreational drugs just made the problem worse.

Maybe you can use this episode as a turning point? Get some real help for your anxiety and depression and embrace a recovery lifestyle - no drugs, no booze?

D

FreeOwl

you probably already know this but having been in similar situations to yours I thought I'd share it:

Nothing even remotely like this has happened to me since I quit drinking and doing drugs.

Life is much much better this way.

saoutchik

It does not sound as though anything really bad happened to you Dtrue as you say it was a big event so someone would have noticed. If you have not already seen a doctor about your depression and anxiety then do make an appointment but i'm sure you already have so perhaps go back and say what happened and that you need help.

Anna

It's understandable that you are feeling a lot of anxiety about what happened and what you don't remember. It was a potentially dangerous situation. Hopefully you are safe and I think trying to come up with good ways to deal with your depression and anxiety.