Obtainingpeace

Hello
Im looking for support to overcome my alcohol problem. Both my husband and myself drink way to much.
Feeling like it is a constant battle im not winning.

ScottFromWI

Welcome to SR Obtainingpeace. You will definitely find a lot of support and understanding here, most of us were exactly where you are at some point in our life. It's very possible to turn things around - hope you can stick around and share/learn/grow with us.

Obtainingpeace

Thankyou. I need to stay strong and move forward. I wish my husband to join me but i dont think at this point that will happen. We drink daily and it causes so many problems.

biminiblue

Obtainingpeace, welcome.

There are many people here who have quit drinking who still live with an active alcoholic. Take care of you and make your plan and maybe in time he will come around. Obviously there is no way to know.

Either way you'll be clear-headed to make your life the best you can going forward.

J50

This thread is a great place to start:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...at-we-did.html (Recovery Programs & What to Expect (What We Did))

You may want to consult with your doctor before quitting, as going cold turkey could be dangerous.

The initial stage can be painful, physically and psychologically, but once you get past it you can begin working on your long term recovery.

To do this, build your plan (there's a link in the above thread on how to build one). This is a framework on building your life without alcohol.

Finally, look for support in your journey! This is a great place for that. Also, look at AA or other programs for face to face interaction.

Good luck to you in your journey!!!

CreativeThinker

Your story is very much like mine Obtainingpeace. My husband and I were drinking buddies too, until I decided that enough was enough and I stepped away from joining him in our daily consumption of 3-5 bottles of wine, or whatever cocktail we decided to indulge in together.

This wasn't my first attempt at sobriety, as I had made many attempts in the past but caved miserably, only to join my husband in the madness. My husband has started out with me on my recovery journey many times, but within a week or so he would give up and start drinking again. My last attempt has been successful (so far) because I separated my sobriety from my husband's. I knew that if I didn't, I would fail again and join my husband, just as I have so many times before.

Throughout last year, my husband continued to drink, while I remained sober. In the beginning it was really hard, especially when fights occurred because I've always used alcohol to numb my feelings after one of our arguments. Additionally, I knew my husband wanted his drinking buddy back and for the first few months, he was waiting for me to give up and start drinking again. Once he realized that I was more serious than I'd ever been about getting sober and staying sober, he realized that he was on his own.

Throughout the last year, my husband has made many attempts to follow me in my recovery journey but he hasn't been able to make it stick yet. On many occasions, I found bottles he was hiding, while telling me that he wasn't drinking. All I can do is provide him with the knowledge that I have gained, support his recovery and pray that one of these days he'll want a new life as much as I did and he'll finally be free from the grips of alcohol.

Stay strong and keep close to SR! Through therapy, SR and making life long changes in my lifestyle I have been able to break free...whether my husband is with me or not. If I can do it, so can you! Feel free to reach out to me if you need support!

CT

Obtainingpeace

Thankyou so much for your words of encouragement Creative Thinker.
Im sitting here feeling completely useless after drinking way too much again lastnight. Dreading going to work tomorrow as i have a bruise to cover up . I dont want to go. Tired of wasted life. Hating who i have become. Dreading the restless ,sleepness night ahead and feeling incredibly lonely to do this on my own.

warrens

In my case, nothing made me lonelier than drinking. By the end, I had no present friends-only those who, through shame and disgust, I avoided. Recovery has brought with it reconnection; first with my true nature apart from alcohol, then to the world. Today I have many, many friends, both within the recovery community and without.

Komplex

Welcome! You’ll find a lot of help in these forums. Going to work tomorrow will be easier to handle if you make today your day one. You can do this!

Obtainingpeace

Thankyou Komplex
Today is day one and prob easy because i feel so crappy
Tomorrow i will feel horrible anxiety at work counting the hrs down. The prob with tomorrow is the usual routine of our little reward after work.
So hard if husband wants to. I know it does no good. We usually fight.

CreativeThinker

We all know how hard the first few weeks can be. What helped me Obtainingpeace was to CHANGE my routine. Do something that will keep you from falling back into your old ways. If it means coming home and taking a walk, taking a hot shower, cleaning a room in your homer, reading and posting here on SR...do ANYTHING to not pick up. It only takes 2 weeks to form a new routine. The more time you have behind you, the better you'll begin to feel. You made it 27 days in the past, that's great! I always looked back to see what made me relapse in the past and then create a plan of action to not let it happen again. Do you have a plan?

Obtainingpeace

My only plan right now is to not drink tomorrow after work.
Im trying to tell myself the positives like feeling better. Not having to use visine everyday, face not as red etc.
Dreading the withdrawl and sleepness night ahead.

Hevyn

Hi Obtainingpeace - I'm so glad you joined us - welcome.

Years ago, I was in the same situation. (I'm sorry to say, my husband has passed.) What started out as fun & relaxation turned into a necessity. Over the years, we both became dependent on it. I was drinking every day in the end - never imagining that I could actually quit. Coming to SR gave me the encouragement I needed - I had felt all alone before finding this place. I'm glad you've made the big decision to change your life - it will be worth it.

CreativeThinker

Oh yeah...I remember using Visine every morning....and any other product that I thought would help cover up the fact that I was feeling like ****! Keep reading here on SR!!! I spent a LOT of time here learning how to find sobriety in the early days and it truly helped. PLAN how you will not drink after work tomorrow. Then follow your plan. You can do this Obtainingpeace!

Obtainingpeace

I appreciate all the support i have found today here. It helps knowing that someone has been in a similar situation.
What did you do Creative Thinker when your husband drank?

CreativeThinker

I spent a lot of time away from him. Not only because his drinking in front of me triggered me (in the beginning), but because I found that being in another room away from him helped me stay focused on me...not him.

Dee74

Welcome aboard obtaining peace

D