O/T Need some wise words and encouragement
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
O/T Need some wise words and encouragement
It has come to that time ! I will be listing my house for sale shortly and moving about 2 hours away from where I am now. Moving away from my friends that stood by me and helped me for 8 years now, so that I can be closer to my adult children who accepted me back into their lives about 3 years ago.
For those who don't know my back story, my adult children bought houses last year. They want me to come over often, and I have been trying to visit each one about once a month, but that means every 2 weeks or less, I am driving about 3 hours each way for the visit. They don't live close enough for me to visit them both on the same weekend.
I did make the decision to move closer to them which would be the Gettysburg Pa area or Hanover Pa area. They both live in Maryland, but I really don't want to pay Maryland taxes on my pension. Pa doesn't tax a pension.
I bought my current house as a foreclosure. It was badly abused, and after being in an abusive relationship, I fixed this house and it was like we were healing together. I don't think I will have a problem leaving my house even though I will miss it. Because of all the work that I did do in my house I will be able to sell it for more then twice the amount of what I paid for it.
I've been sick for about 1 1/2 months. I've had 2 stomach viruses, dizziness, a rash, migraine headaches, my back is going out often, feet swelling, and every time I decide to go to the Doctor, it disappears. I'm starting to think that this is just my nerves.
So, what am I nervous about? I guess a lot of things. When I bought this house, my friends were close by, now they will be about 3 hours away. I'm moving to a new area that I know nothing about. I'm pretty sure nothing will go wrong with my relationship with my 2 children, but you never know, I still have the "Drama Queen" daughter that is jealous of my relationship with them. And this is the big one.......What kind of house should I buy? It seems that this is a harder decision then I made when I left my ex. I had to leave. I had to survive.
Newer house, or older house? I am looking at houses between $80,000 and $180,000. I think I really need to make a decision on if I want a fixer-upper or move in condition. Even if I want a move in condition house, I would want to put my own touches in it, but I won't be able to afford it. Older house, don't know if that will just be a "money pit", and also in an area that I would never get back what I put into it. I do know that I don't want a big lawn, (just too lazy and too old to mow it), and I really hate HOA fees, so I don't want to pay HOA fees of $200 or more for them to mow my grass. Live in the town, or outskirts of the town? Also newer places are townhouses. I don't want my kitchen on the second floor. It's too much climbing steps with groceries.
How do people decide what they really want for their last move?
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
For those who don't know my back story, my adult children bought houses last year. They want me to come over often, and I have been trying to visit each one about once a month, but that means every 2 weeks or less, I am driving about 3 hours each way for the visit. They don't live close enough for me to visit them both on the same weekend.
I did make the decision to move closer to them which would be the Gettysburg Pa area or Hanover Pa area. They both live in Maryland, but I really don't want to pay Maryland taxes on my pension. Pa doesn't tax a pension.
I bought my current house as a foreclosure. It was badly abused, and after being in an abusive relationship, I fixed this house and it was like we were healing together. I don't think I will have a problem leaving my house even though I will miss it. Because of all the work that I did do in my house I will be able to sell it for more then twice the amount of what I paid for it.
I've been sick for about 1 1/2 months. I've had 2 stomach viruses, dizziness, a rash, migraine headaches, my back is going out often, feet swelling, and every time I decide to go to the Doctor, it disappears. I'm starting to think that this is just my nerves.
So, what am I nervous about? I guess a lot of things. When I bought this house, my friends were close by, now they will be about 3 hours away. I'm moving to a new area that I know nothing about. I'm pretty sure nothing will go wrong with my relationship with my 2 children, but you never know, I still have the "Drama Queen" daughter that is jealous of my relationship with them. And this is the big one.......What kind of house should I buy? It seems that this is a harder decision then I made when I left my ex. I had to leave. I had to survive.
Newer house, or older house? I am looking at houses between $80,000 and $180,000. I think I really need to make a decision on if I want a fixer-upper or move in condition. Even if I want a move in condition house, I would want to put my own touches in it, but I won't be able to afford it. Older house, don't know if that will just be a "money pit", and also in an area that I would never get back what I put into it. I do know that I don't want a big lawn, (just too lazy and too old to mow it), and I really hate HOA fees, so I don't want to pay HOA fees of $200 or more for them to mow my grass. Live in the town, or outskirts of the town? Also newer places are townhouses. I don't want my kitchen on the second floor. It's too much climbing steps with groceries.
How do people decide what they really want for their last move?
(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
amy
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,144
Congratulations on your move. It sounds like you have a checklist already of what you don't want. Keep thinking of what you want. What's the maximum commute do you want to your children? Do you want to live in the same neighborhood or not? The real estate person can give you advise on the new town also and show you around. Are you into public transportation? Shopping malls? Theatre? Parks? Do you want to be in a community setting or isolated from others? Those things will guide your decision also. Part of it is when you see the house, the lot, the neighborhood you'll just know.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Having dealt with a l ot of seniors....there are two things that I feel strongly about.....
1. No stairs. 2. Easy access to medical services
For me personally, I have had the horror of a fixer up type house that is a never ending of repairs and money expenditure.....ugh!
I don't think it has to be a brand new house...but...it shouldn't be at the point of needing repairs, either....
You can always make any house your "own"....with décor, etc.....
1. No stairs. 2. Easy access to medical services
For me personally, I have had the horror of a fixer up type house that is a never ending of repairs and money expenditure.....ugh!
I don't think it has to be a brand new house...but...it shouldn't be at the point of needing repairs, either....
You can always make any house your "own"....with décor, etc.....
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, amy.
We are of an age where we think of these things as well.
What will the next home be?
I guess that one of the first things that I think about is access to physicians and health facilities.
I am fortunate in that there is a good hospital near by and, with exception of my dermatologist, who is about 35 minutes away , straight highway driving, all my physicians are nearby.
I mean, I am in good health, but well, time and tide and all that.
If I were you, I would be looking for one story living in an established neighborhood. Maybe a ranch, cape or bungalow?
Not too isolated. That would be cool now, but you may regret the decision in 10 years.
I would look for move in ready, or maybe something that needs some updating, but nothing major, like installing a new kitchen.
You won’t know the area, so knowledge of good contractors may be scant.
Small yard with a patio or deck for relaxing outside would be good.
You’ll want to have enough space for the grandkids as they get older and may want to do overnights with you.
I would suggest a security system. They are making some great ones now that don’t break the bank.
Good luck with your next adventure!
We are of an age where we think of these things as well.
What will the next home be?
I guess that one of the first things that I think about is access to physicians and health facilities.
I am fortunate in that there is a good hospital near by and, with exception of my dermatologist, who is about 35 minutes away , straight highway driving, all my physicians are nearby.
I mean, I am in good health, but well, time and tide and all that.
If I were you, I would be looking for one story living in an established neighborhood. Maybe a ranch, cape or bungalow?
Not too isolated. That would be cool now, but you may regret the decision in 10 years.
I would look for move in ready, or maybe something that needs some updating, but nothing major, like installing a new kitchen.
You won’t know the area, so knowledge of good contractors may be scant.
Small yard with a patio or deck for relaxing outside would be good.
You’ll want to have enough space for the grandkids as they get older and may want to do overnights with you.
I would suggest a security system. They are making some great ones now that don’t break the bank.
Good luck with your next adventure!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Oh, also.
Check out the neighbors.
How do yards look?
Campers in driveways that clearly havent been moved for years, truck caps by the sides of garages.
These are not good signs.
You can do this remotely by using Google street view.
Check out the neighbors.
How do yards look?
Campers in driveways that clearly havent been moved for years, truck caps by the sides of garages.
These are not good signs.
You can do this remotely by using Google street view.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Personally? I'd rent for 6 months or a year, in which time you can research neighborhoods, homes and prices, make new friends and find out where and how you spend time in your new town. The house will find you in the process.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I've been thinking a lot about this tonight as to what is bothering me so much, or what my fears are. I like my house. It's an older raised ranch log cabin, which means I don't have a lot of sun coming in through my windows. I may complain that I have 16 lights on all day long, just so that I can see in my house, but it also kept the outside, outside. I go out, and I love meeting people, but I can't wait to go back home to hide myself away again.
I went food shopping the other day, and this guy approached me. I talked to him, he seemed really nice, said goodbye and left. I went to get gas, and he showed up there also and asked me if I wanted to come over to his house to watch a movie. I made an excuse and ran back to my safe sanctuary with the guarded gate.
How do I deal with a place that is brightly lit? I can't hide anymore. I know I have to do this though.
OK, so I did forget about making sure this is nearby medical care. Thanks for the reminder on this. You know, I haven't seen a Dr since 2011. That was for a check up on the cancer. I'm afraid of Dr's, they don't usually give you good news. I had 2 cancers and a DVT. My kids are insisting I get a PCP.
I've been trying to look for ranches, which I think are a lot better for me, I know what it's like living in a raised ranch and carrying groceries to second floor. A ranch would be out in the wilderness with way over an acre to mow, or in an established development, would still involve mowing the grass, but perhaps not that much.
There were also some townhouses with first level kitchens, some were even 1 level with a basement, a small yard, and HOA fees for mowing the common area.
I think the kitchen is the biggest thing for me. I don't want a kitchen that is not that bad that I can just live with it. It either has to be a nice kitchen or a cheaper house that I can just redo the whole thing. I guess this is where I always get stuck.
Public transportation, I really don't care. Not use to that. Nightlife, I don't need that. I like flea markets and re sale stores.
I'll be seeing my realtor next week to arrange a date for photos of my house to list it by the end of March.
Still going to freak out about buying and selling a house based on contingency.
amy
I went food shopping the other day, and this guy approached me. I talked to him, he seemed really nice, said goodbye and left. I went to get gas, and he showed up there also and asked me if I wanted to come over to his house to watch a movie. I made an excuse and ran back to my safe sanctuary with the guarded gate.
How do I deal with a place that is brightly lit? I can't hide anymore. I know I have to do this though.
OK, so I did forget about making sure this is nearby medical care. Thanks for the reminder on this. You know, I haven't seen a Dr since 2011. That was for a check up on the cancer. I'm afraid of Dr's, they don't usually give you good news. I had 2 cancers and a DVT. My kids are insisting I get a PCP.
I've been trying to look for ranches, which I think are a lot better for me, I know what it's like living in a raised ranch and carrying groceries to second floor. A ranch would be out in the wilderness with way over an acre to mow, or in an established development, would still involve mowing the grass, but perhaps not that much.
There were also some townhouses with first level kitchens, some were even 1 level with a basement, a small yard, and HOA fees for mowing the common area.
I think the kitchen is the biggest thing for me. I don't want a kitchen that is not that bad that I can just live with it. It either has to be a nice kitchen or a cheaper house that I can just redo the whole thing. I guess this is where I always get stuck.
Public transportation, I really don't care. Not use to that. Nightlife, I don't need that. I like flea markets and re sale stores.
I'll be seeing my realtor next week to arrange a date for photos of my house to list it by the end of March.
Still going to freak out about buying and selling a house based on contingency.
amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
I was busy thinking for the last hour and typing that I didn't see Eddie's reply. I was already thinking about splitting my time between my 2 kids house (yes, I did ask them, and they were OK with it) and keeping my stuff in a storage unit.
I didn't think about renting a place in the area that I wanted to move to.
That's a good suggestion. Thank You.
amy
I didn't think about renting a place in the area that I wanted to move to.
That's a good suggestion. Thank You.
amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hmmm.
“Come to my house and watch a movie.”
That’s new.
Will you be working with a realtor who knows the area to which you will be moving, cuz that’s important
A realtor could put you into a rental for a while so you could get to know the area, and help you search.
I follow real estate. It’s an interest of mine, and I can tell you that kitchens are huge selling points, so sellers tend to update their kitchens prior to putting the house on the market.
We did when we sold our 1940’s brick tudor outside Philadelphia preparatory to moving back to Massachusetts. We installed a shower in rhe downstairs bath as well, turning it from a powder room to a half bath.
My sense is that large houses that need work tend to linger on the market, while smaller, newly refurbished houses go quickly, at least in my area.
I now live in a 13 year old two story cape with an open floor plan.
We did some stuff to it, but it was basically move in ready.
I am not nuts about my neighbors, who are total slobbos, something I discovered after the fact, but I love the house and the location.
“Come to my house and watch a movie.”
That’s new.
Will you be working with a realtor who knows the area to which you will be moving, cuz that’s important
A realtor could put you into a rental for a while so you could get to know the area, and help you search.
I follow real estate. It’s an interest of mine, and I can tell you that kitchens are huge selling points, so sellers tend to update their kitchens prior to putting the house on the market.
We did when we sold our 1940’s brick tudor outside Philadelphia preparatory to moving back to Massachusetts. We installed a shower in rhe downstairs bath as well, turning it from a powder room to a half bath.
My sense is that large houses that need work tend to linger on the market, while smaller, newly refurbished houses go quickly, at least in my area.
I now live in a 13 year old two story cape with an open floor plan.
We did some stuff to it, but it was basically move in ready.
I am not nuts about my neighbors, who are total slobbos, something I discovered after the fact, but I love the house and the location.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
I also think the right townhouse could be just the ticket for a single person, especially down the road as you age and if you are not crazy about yard work.
Have to bite the bullet on the HOA’s and some condo associations can be oppressive, so if you went that route, ypu would want to talk to the people who live there to get their opinions.
Okay, I’m done offering my two cents.
Let us know how it goes.
Have to bite the bullet on the HOA’s and some condo associations can be oppressive, so if you went that route, ypu would want to talk to the people who live there to get their opinions.
Okay, I’m done offering my two cents.
Let us know how it goes.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Maudcat....question---how in the world do you get around the issue of stairs, in a townhouse? I agree that a townhouse can eliminate much of the yard problems....
What do you think about a garden style condominium?
What do you think about a garden style condominium?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Do you rent condominiums or lease or own them?
I wasn't sure what folks do when interested
in them.
I lived in a garden home or what they
sometimes call it....a starter home in
my first marriage with 2 little ones.
It had a small yard to keep up with,
2 bedrooms, 2 baths, a comfortable
size kitchen, living and dining room.
Just enough for a single or small family.
I often remind myself that i need not
have to worry when i place my life into
the Hands of my Higher Power for
guidance, strength and care.
He continues to take care of us
each and everyday.
May He do the same for you.
I wasn't sure what folks do when interested
in them.
I lived in a garden home or what they
sometimes call it....a starter home in
my first marriage with 2 little ones.
It had a small yard to keep up with,
2 bedrooms, 2 baths, a comfortable
size kitchen, living and dining room.
Just enough for a single or small family.
I often remind myself that i need not
have to worry when i place my life into
the Hands of my Higher Power for
guidance, strength and care.
He continues to take care of us
each and everyday.
May He do the same for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
Can someone tell me the difference between a town house and a condo? I found town houses that are one level, w and w/o a basement. It seems to me that with a townhouse you get some property that you need to take care of, and if there is a common area, then they charge you an HOA, it seems with a condo, and some looked the same as townhouses, but they take care of all of the property, and charge a bigger HOA fee.
Maudcat, I agree, the guy in the food store that asked me to go to his house to watch a movie, was really weird. He first approached me with some commercial from Lifetime TV. I watch Lifetime, never heard that commercial, then he proceeded to tell me that he was divorced multiple times. When I went to get ice cream, he had to buy the same kind, I know this because he asked me which one I bought. Then I think he followed me to the gas station. I went in to buy cigarettes, and he was buying 16oz beers. How many red flags were there? I would never go over to a guys house that I met in a grocery store. You need to buy me dinner first so that I can know that you might be safe to be alone with.
Now getting back to the house. Needs to be a walk in first floor, not a walk in bsmt. Don't mind bedrooms being upstairs, as long as the laundry room is on the same level. Kitchen is a big thing with me. That's why I'm thinking more about a house that is 10 -15 yrs old. If the cabinets are in good shape, I can replace the counter top, and get rid of the linoleum. I was looking at mid range prices today, and I can get something in that price range. I would also have some money to spend to make my house my own. I love stone walls. I can do that also.
amy
Maudcat, I agree, the guy in the food store that asked me to go to his house to watch a movie, was really weird. He first approached me with some commercial from Lifetime TV. I watch Lifetime, never heard that commercial, then he proceeded to tell me that he was divorced multiple times. When I went to get ice cream, he had to buy the same kind, I know this because he asked me which one I bought. Then I think he followed me to the gas station. I went in to buy cigarettes, and he was buying 16oz beers. How many red flags were there? I would never go over to a guys house that I met in a grocery store. You need to buy me dinner first so that I can know that you might be safe to be alone with.
Now getting back to the house. Needs to be a walk in first floor, not a walk in bsmt. Don't mind bedrooms being upstairs, as long as the laundry room is on the same level. Kitchen is a big thing with me. That's why I'm thinking more about a house that is 10 -15 yrs old. If the cabinets are in good shape, I can replace the counter top, and get rid of the linoleum. I was looking at mid range prices today, and I can get something in that price range. I would also have some money to spend to make my house my own. I love stone walls. I can do that also.
amy
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
any....I am thinking that some of the same terms m at vary from area to area.
Where I live....I have never seen a "townhouse" that does not have stairs. We call an apartment that is one level (at ground level)...a "garden apartment"....
***where I live...in a suburb of a very large metropolitan area...the land is very expensive...so, there is a tendency to build vertically....that is why I have never seen a townhouse without stairs....
I think of a "condominium" as an apartment that is part of a cooperative that one buys into...and, therefore owns the actual apartment....with certain governing rules for the common areas.
I have limited experience...so, I may be incorrect in my explanation!!
Maybe a real estate agent can help to straighten this out.....?
Where I live....I have never seen a "townhouse" that does not have stairs. We call an apartment that is one level (at ground level)...a "garden apartment"....
***where I live...in a suburb of a very large metropolitan area...the land is very expensive...so, there is a tendency to build vertically....that is why I have never seen a townhouse without stairs....
I think of a "condominium" as an apartment that is part of a cooperative that one buys into...and, therefore owns the actual apartment....with certain governing rules for the common areas.
I have limited experience...so, I may be incorrect in my explanation!!
Maybe a real estate agent can help to straighten this out.....?
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
I have heard that making a major move is listed near the top of the life stressors list.......
It seems, to me, that, after we get settled into our lives...it is much more difficult to move than when we are young and can throw our possessions into the trunk of our car...
It seems, to me, that, after we get settled into our lives...it is much more difficult to move than when we are young and can throw our possessions into the trunk of our car...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Well, to me, townhouse is a style of building, and yes, there can be a lot of stairs.
I have looked at some that are beautiful, but have three flights of stairs within!
So, no.
Condos are purchased, like a house.
They can be townhouse style, or apartment like in high rise buildings.
In the town where my mother lives, there are several condominium developments. Some of them are three story, some two. I don’t know of any that are one story. Newer buildings encompass a first floor master bedroom to accommodate boomers’ aching knees.
I am also seeing a trend in neighboring towns to take large homes and convert them to condos, which is great for someone who wants to live seaside but doesn’t want the expense of maintaining an older, large house.
Condos always have an association, which is tasked with maintaining the property, and, as I mentioned earlier, some of these can be quite strict about things like halloween decorations and painting your porch railing.
I have several friends who sold their properties and moved into condo developments.
No one is nuts about the associations but recognize that they are necessary.
My own feeling at this stage of my life is that I, like Amy, prefer to live in a detached dwelling, but I remain open to over 55 living or condo living in the future.
There is a houseboat culture on the Seine in France, which I found absolutely charming, but the recent flooding there may have made living in a houseboat kinda dicey.
I have looked at some that are beautiful, but have three flights of stairs within!
So, no.
Condos are purchased, like a house.
They can be townhouse style, or apartment like in high rise buildings.
In the town where my mother lives, there are several condominium developments. Some of them are three story, some two. I don’t know of any that are one story. Newer buildings encompass a first floor master bedroom to accommodate boomers’ aching knees.
I am also seeing a trend in neighboring towns to take large homes and convert them to condos, which is great for someone who wants to live seaside but doesn’t want the expense of maintaining an older, large house.
Condos always have an association, which is tasked with maintaining the property, and, as I mentioned earlier, some of these can be quite strict about things like halloween decorations and painting your porch railing.
I have several friends who sold their properties and moved into condo developments.
No one is nuts about the associations but recognize that they are necessary.
My own feeling at this stage of my life is that I, like Amy, prefer to live in a detached dwelling, but I remain open to over 55 living or condo living in the future.
There is a houseboat culture on the Seine in France, which I found absolutely charming, but the recent flooding there may have made living in a houseboat kinda dicey.
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