Hey
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 1
Hey
I’m new to this site but not new to my sons addiction. He’s been clean from heroin for the past 5 years after getting out of jail. He worked the program of sobriety until August 2015 about 6 months after his father passed away.
He’s had a DWI and has had trouble holding down a job.
Since August of this year he was living in a sober house and doing relatively ok but was kicked out right before Christmas when I let him come home.
He started drinking again a few weeks ago and I’m at my wits end.
I don’t trust him and struggling with him living with me but he also can’t afford to live on his own.
I need advice.
He’s had a DWI and has had trouble holding down a job.
Since August of this year he was living in a sober house and doing relatively ok but was kicked out right before Christmas when I let him come home.
He started drinking again a few weeks ago and I’m at my wits end.
I don’t trust him and struggling with him living with me but he also can’t afford to live on his own.
I need advice.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,440
Hi Krausdi 
Welcome to SR
You'll find a lot of support an good advice here
Its a tough one.
I believe you have the right to a good life tho.
Have you thought about laying down some house rules, including not drinking?
If he can't abide by that then tell him he needs to look for somewhere else to live or at least make a commitment to getting back into some kind of programme?
D
Welcome to SR
You'll find a lot of support an good advice here
Its a tough one.
I believe you have the right to a good life tho.
Have you thought about laying down some house rules, including not drinking?
If he can't abide by that then tell him he needs to look for somewhere else to live or at least make a commitment to getting back into some kind of programme?
D
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello krausdi,
Welcome! It sounds like your son has been struggling for a while. My stepson has, too. My stepson is an alcoholic, crack addict, polysubstance abuser - who has now apparently added heroin to the mix.
With all of my stepson's threatening, lying, and stealing, my late husband asked him to leave the home - which was a scene, I won't lie about that. But the peace afterward was worth it.
My stepson is in his 30s, and his life is his own. I wrap him in prayer, but he has to learn to live life on life's terms.
Hoping and praying for peace and clarity for you and recovery for your son!
Welcome! It sounds like your son has been struggling for a while. My stepson has, too. My stepson is an alcoholic, crack addict, polysubstance abuser - who has now apparently added heroin to the mix.
With all of my stepson's threatening, lying, and stealing, my late husband asked him to leave the home - which was a scene, I won't lie about that. But the peace afterward was worth it.
My stepson is in his 30s, and his life is his own. I wrap him in prayer, but he has to learn to live life on life's terms.
Hoping and praying for peace and clarity for you and recovery for your son!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 291
Hi K
It's so difficult living with someone who is in active addiction.
Like you, my son is my addict. Alcohol and valium were his main poisons. But he would take whatever was available.
I have no advice other than lay down strong boundaries, about what is acceptable behaviour in your home, and what is not. However, with boundaries, there also comes consequences, if those boundaries are breached. You have to be strong enough to see it through.
I couldn't continue to have my son living in the family home, as his behaviour was too chaotic and unpredictable, and he was bringing drugs into my home. Sadly, I was forced to evict him, and that almost finished me off.
He has said to me, it was the best thing I done for him.
It's a horrible, and extremely stressful situation, isn't it. I hope you find a way that suits you. Good luck!
Much Love
Bute x
It's so difficult living with someone who is in active addiction.
Like you, my son is my addict. Alcohol and valium were his main poisons. But he would take whatever was available.
I have no advice other than lay down strong boundaries, about what is acceptable behaviour in your home, and what is not. However, with boundaries, there also comes consequences, if those boundaries are breached. You have to be strong enough to see it through.
I couldn't continue to have my son living in the family home, as his behaviour was too chaotic and unpredictable, and he was bringing drugs into my home. Sadly, I was forced to evict him, and that almost finished me off.
He has said to me, it was the best thing I done for him.
It's a horrible, and extremely stressful situation, isn't it. I hope you find a way that suits you. Good luck!
Much Love
Bute x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 61
Hi K.
You must be very stressed right now having your son in your home. I went through exactly the same when my alcoholic and marijuana addicted son came home in November and stayed 3 months. I put up with the tension it caused plus all the expense. I started feeling so down and depressed. Losing myself.
After I discovered my son had been taking money out of my account and smoking dope in his room, I asked him to leave. I couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to go. He caused such a scene, making me feel very guilty and sad. In the end his father picked him up and it was really painful watching him pack up all his things and go. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of years and was so looking forward to seeing him again. I didn’t want it to be like this.
My son hasn’t contacted me since. That was a month ago. It took a couple of weeks before I could even open his bedroom door. I felt so sad about it all.
Coming here on SR for support really helps, so please keep coming back. Many mothers here have been through it too and give great advice.
My son was boundary less... so he had to leave. I’m sure he’s doing the same at his father’s place but it’s not my problem and my home is now peaceful. He’s lucky his father took him in.
At first I felt really selfish when I was advised to let him go and take care of myself but that’s what we have to do. I realise that. I’m learning to live with a broken heart that was broken many years ago. I was a single parent and he’s my only child.
Now it’s one day at a time. Begin your healing journey and things will slowly begin to change.
It’s not easy but it’s the right thing to do. Ask your to leave your home. Make him face the consequences.
Stay strong! X
You must be very stressed right now having your son in your home. I went through exactly the same when my alcoholic and marijuana addicted son came home in November and stayed 3 months. I put up with the tension it caused plus all the expense. I started feeling so down and depressed. Losing myself.
After I discovered my son had been taking money out of my account and smoking dope in his room, I asked him to leave. I couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t want to go. He caused such a scene, making me feel very guilty and sad. In the end his father picked him up and it was really painful watching him pack up all his things and go. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of years and was so looking forward to seeing him again. I didn’t want it to be like this.
My son hasn’t contacted me since. That was a month ago. It took a couple of weeks before I could even open his bedroom door. I felt so sad about it all.
Coming here on SR for support really helps, so please keep coming back. Many mothers here have been through it too and give great advice.
My son was boundary less... so he had to leave. I’m sure he’s doing the same at his father’s place but it’s not my problem and my home is now peaceful. He’s lucky his father took him in.
At first I felt really selfish when I was advised to let him go and take care of myself but that’s what we have to do. I realise that. I’m learning to live with a broken heart that was broken many years ago. I was a single parent and he’s my only child.
Now it’s one day at a time. Begin your healing journey and things will slowly begin to change.
It’s not easy but it’s the right thing to do. Ask your to leave your home. Make him face the consequences.
Stay strong! X
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