162! Hubby & I are fighting
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: California
Posts: 339
162! Hubby & I are fighting
It really sucks. Sometimes I feel like i'm the only effective communicator. He's been so deep in his studies that it's hard to get 10 minutes of cuddling with him. I brought it to his attention and he went off on me saying he does in fact spend time with me. If that were the truth I wouldn't be feeling this way. When he had a whole month off from school everything was GREAT...we were closer..sex was amazing...now as soon as he's back in school for the semester that all has changed..sex is sort of non existing at this point...
I went over to my sister in laws and stood there for a couple hours before returning home because I THOUGHT just maybe he'd understand what it's like to just feel home ALONE. I've been craving interaction and just needed to get away & vent. Well he didn't text me asking where I was ( I just left) ...and when I came home he didn't say anything to me and just went right to sleep.
This morning not a word was said...and usually if we have problems i'm the first one and the ONLY one to communicate. What happens when the only one who gives in STOPS? From the looks of it...SILENCE and distance is all we are left with...I'm struggling...I really hope he texts me today because i'm tired of being the fixer.
I'm taking a stand so that he realizes this time he's pushed my limits.
OVER IT TODAY!
I went over to my sister in laws and stood there for a couple hours before returning home because I THOUGHT just maybe he'd understand what it's like to just feel home ALONE. I've been craving interaction and just needed to get away & vent. Well he didn't text me asking where I was ( I just left) ...and when I came home he didn't say anything to me and just went right to sleep.
This morning not a word was said...and usually if we have problems i'm the first one and the ONLY one to communicate. What happens when the only one who gives in STOPS? From the looks of it...SILENCE and distance is all we are left with...I'm struggling...I really hope he texts me today because i'm tired of being the fixer.
I'm taking a stand so that he realizes this time he's pushed my limits.
OVER IT TODAY!
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
Sorry you are going through this..
Day 162 is amazing .. though!
As we know, marriage is full of huge compromises.
But with every compromise there should be mutual respect.
Hope you both "find time" to talk soon.
Day 162 is amazing .. though!
As we know, marriage is full of huge compromises.
But with every compromise there should be mutual respect.
Hope you both "find time" to talk soon.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
I used to put my wife in charge of how I felt.
Turns out she wasn't very good at managing my emotions.
When I put myself in charge of how I felt, I started to feel a lot better.
Congrats on your 162 days of sobriety! That rocks!
Turns out she wasn't very good at managing my emotions.
When I put myself in charge of how I felt, I started to feel a lot better.
Congrats on your 162 days of sobriety! That rocks!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I'm taking a stand so that he realizes this time he's pushed my limits.
you may want to back the truck up here a bit.
now as soon as he's back in school for the semester that all has changed
he is dpoing something for a better future for the both of you and youre going to take a stand because youre not getting what you want?????
it seems pretty selfish and self centered to want him to drop his studies for sex.
and then retaliate with
I went over to my sister in laws and stood there for a couple hours before returning home because I THOUGHT just maybe he'd understand what it's like to just feel home ALONE
so you actually tried to hurt your husbands feelings- a man that is studying to make a better future for him and you- by doing this?
you typed:
When he had a whole month off from school everything was GREAT
but then
i'm tired of being the fixer.
sooo, is it a problem all the time or only when hes studying?
school can be very stressful.
what do YOU do outside of the home for fun? do you have friends, hobbies,interests,etc youre involved in?
you may want to back the truck up here a bit.
now as soon as he's back in school for the semester that all has changed
he is dpoing something for a better future for the both of you and youre going to take a stand because youre not getting what you want?????
it seems pretty selfish and self centered to want him to drop his studies for sex.
and then retaliate with
I went over to my sister in laws and stood there for a couple hours before returning home because I THOUGHT just maybe he'd understand what it's like to just feel home ALONE
so you actually tried to hurt your husbands feelings- a man that is studying to make a better future for him and you- by doing this?
you typed:
When he had a whole month off from school everything was GREAT
but then
i'm tired of being the fixer.
sooo, is it a problem all the time or only when hes studying?
school can be very stressful.
what do YOU do outside of the home for fun? do you have friends, hobbies,interests,etc youre involved in?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,518
Sorry about your little rough patch I hope you both arrive at a way to fix this.
I,m not a great adviser when it comes to relationships but for us two married 37 years i,ts usually me who comes round first as I can't bare the atmosphere where dear Mrs could stay silent for 4 days . Its interesting how alcoholics hate rejection , I think we have so much guilt and wasted so much time we need love and affection / attention , just my angle .
I,m not a great adviser when it comes to relationships but for us two married 37 years i,ts usually me who comes round first as I can't bare the atmosphere where dear Mrs could stay silent for 4 days . Its interesting how alcoholics hate rejection , I think we have so much guilt and wasted so much time we need love and affection / attention , just my angle .
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I'm sorry that you're having arguments with your husband.
It sounds like you want more attention from him and he feels like he is giving you attention, so that's a bit of a stalemate. Are you going to be able manage with less attention, because you can only control yourself and not him. So, waiting for him to make a change, when he doesn't think change is necessary, could be very frustrating.
I do think it's very important to remember that he is studying to make things better for the family. It's not a selfish pursuit, though it's taking him away from you and family things.
It sounds like you want more attention from him and he feels like he is giving you attention, so that's a bit of a stalemate. Are you going to be able manage with less attention, because you can only control yourself and not him. So, waiting for him to make a change, when he doesn't think change is necessary, could be very frustrating.
I do think it's very important to remember that he is studying to make things better for the family. It's not a selfish pursuit, though it's taking him away from you and family things.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 1,065
Congratulations on 162 days!
Sounds like a rough patch, it can be hard when we want more than another person is able to give us. One thing, I am a fixer, usually I say sorry, or smooth things over first, because I got a call one day, there had been a horrible accident and my husband got super lucky - I didn't know that racing with my kids in the backseat of my truck to the hospital. But the what if - I couldn't forgive myself if a fight went on and something happened, because there is nothing save a couple things that would ever be bad enough for him not to walk out that door knowing how much I love him, respect him and sincerely appreciate everything he does.
I am OK going to bed mad, but I wake up really early to set it right.
Stress sucks! When I did my Masters, I am shocked hubby stayed with me... His sacrifices for his education become your sacrifices for his education. He won't be in school forever - unless he is like one of my in-laws who managed 5 years to get his BA and then another 5 in grad school, or my cousin who spent 20 years getting a Phd in religion, now he works as a mechanic.
Sounds like a rough patch, it can be hard when we want more than another person is able to give us. One thing, I am a fixer, usually I say sorry, or smooth things over first, because I got a call one day, there had been a horrible accident and my husband got super lucky - I didn't know that racing with my kids in the backseat of my truck to the hospital. But the what if - I couldn't forgive myself if a fight went on and something happened, because there is nothing save a couple things that would ever be bad enough for him not to walk out that door knowing how much I love him, respect him and sincerely appreciate everything he does.
I am OK going to bed mad, but I wake up really early to set it right. Stress sucks! When I did my Masters, I am shocked hubby stayed with me... His sacrifices for his education become your sacrifices for his education. He won't be in school forever - unless he is like one of my in-laws who managed 5 years to get his BA and then another 5 in grad school, or my cousin who spent 20 years getting a Phd in religion, now he works as a mechanic.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Sometimes marriage is 50/50. Sometimes marriage is 10/ 90. Sometimes marriage is 30/70.
I hear that you need time from him and I am sure that he wants to give you that time, but the man is in School. He is educating himself for a brighter more lucrative future that you will be a part of.
Do you work? Are you in school?
Your husband is not responsible for your emotions. You may need to get a larger emotional tool box.
I hear that you need time from him and I am sure that he wants to give you that time, but the man is in School. He is educating himself for a brighter more lucrative future that you will be a part of.
Do you work? Are you in school?
Your husband is not responsible for your emotions. You may need to get a larger emotional tool box.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: California
Posts: 339
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
I'm taking a stand so that he realizes this time he's pushed my limits.
you may want to back the truck up here a bit.
now as soon as he's back in school for the semester that all has changed
he is dpoing something for a better future for the both of you and youre going to take a stand because youre not getting what you want?????
it seems pretty selfish and self centered to want him to drop his studies for sex.
and then retaliate with
I went over to my sister in laws and stood there for a couple hours before returning home because I THOUGHT just maybe he'd understand what it's like to just feel home ALONE
so you actually tried to hurt your husbands feelings- a man that is studying to make a better future for him and you- by doing this?
you typed:
When he had a whole month off from school everything was GREAT
but then
i'm tired of being the fixer.
sooo, is it a problem all the time or only when hes studying?
school can be very stressful.
what do YOU do outside of the home for fun? do you have friends, hobbies,interests,etc youre involved in?
you may want to back the truck up here a bit.
now as soon as he's back in school for the semester that all has changed
he is dpoing something for a better future for the both of you and youre going to take a stand because youre not getting what you want?????
it seems pretty selfish and self centered to want him to drop his studies for sex.
and then retaliate with
I went over to my sister in laws and stood there for a couple hours before returning home because I THOUGHT just maybe he'd understand what it's like to just feel home ALONE
so you actually tried to hurt your husbands feelings- a man that is studying to make a better future for him and you- by doing this?
you typed:
When he had a whole month off from school everything was GREAT
but then
i'm tired of being the fixer.
sooo, is it a problem all the time or only when hes studying?
school can be very stressful.
what do YOU do outside of the home for fun? do you have friends, hobbies,interests,etc youre involved in?
If he's not studying and is all caught up he then finds SOMETHING to work on JUST because. If he can take 20 minutes to play a game on his phone he can take the TIME for his wife. I always make time for him BUSY OR NOT! It's no excuse. I'm not hard to please..I find comfort in the LITTLE THINGS...Also he gets mad at me when I want to go out for a little bit...WHILE he is studying so I can have some interaction with family/friends...Like i'm at fault for wanting that...when he isn't talking to me or bothering with me. He just wants me THERE just to be there..yet not talk or awknowledge my existence .it's not like I go out all the time anyway...but when I want to he makes me feel guilty..even if it is for a couple hours just to get fresh air AWAYYYYYYYY from the house we are constantly bound in.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Winter in Tahoe can be a little bit too long, too. It's nearly over.
I get it. My ex-husband is an ex-husband because of some of the same issues. We weren't intimate for years...and he was gone for 16 hours a day, seven days a week, but if I went out after work all Hell broke loose because I wasn't there when he expected me to be. So he could call me on the phone. (Before cells.) When I started being not-available he did not like it one bit. It was fine for him. I was supposed to be sitting home every minute I wasn't at work, but he could disappear on a golf day and not show up for 24-48 hours - no explanations necessary for him. Not cool.
It is hard to be in school as a married adult, I would reckon.
I think there are always a lot of issues in a marriage and the solutions are not always so easy. Hugs to you and I hope you'll be able to find a balance for both of you.
I'm glad you shared it with us, congrats on your sober time. Keep moving forward like you've been doing so well.
I get it. My ex-husband is an ex-husband because of some of the same issues. We weren't intimate for years...and he was gone for 16 hours a day, seven days a week, but if I went out after work all Hell broke loose because I wasn't there when he expected me to be. So he could call me on the phone. (Before cells.) When I started being not-available he did not like it one bit. It was fine for him. I was supposed to be sitting home every minute I wasn't at work, but he could disappear on a golf day and not show up for 24-48 hours - no explanations necessary for him. Not cool.
It is hard to be in school as a married adult, I would reckon.
I think there are always a lot of issues in a marriage and the solutions are not always so easy. Hugs to you and I hope you'll be able to find a balance for both of you.
I'm glad you shared it with us, congrats on your sober time. Keep moving forward like you've been doing so well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 379
Does your boyfriend have aspergers? I only ask because he sounds exactly like me. My partner understands, and although she sometimes tells me she wishes I was "normal" she doesn't give me a hard time over who I am. I get so engrossed in studies, hobbies and work that it doesn't bother me if I don't see my girlfriend for a week (it bothers her though).
I'm not a cuddly romantic, but it doesn't mean I don't love her. I love her to bits, and show her in other ways. I once spent a week making a cartoon animation for her to show her how much I love her.
He sounds like a good guy with his head screwed on tbh.
I'm not a cuddly romantic, but it doesn't mean I don't love her. I love her to bits, and show her in other ways. I once spent a week making a cartoon animation for her to show her how much I love her.
He sounds like a good guy with his head screwed on tbh.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 634
Congrats on your sober time, I'm still those 12 days behind you!
I'm no marriage counsellor as having major issues of my own...but you say in your second post that he always finds something to do, play on his phone etc. I assume this only happens when he is studying as you said it was great when he had a month off school? Maybe those other things are some sort of wind down/mind numbing thing he needs to do to get his mind off his studies?
Marriage can be bloody hard. Emotional connection is something I've almost forgot about, my marriage is clinging on! I'm so exhausted with work, kids, sober, anxiety that I can't fit much else in. Maybe the studies make him feel the same, I really don't know, only he can tell you that.
Pick a moment when he seems less distracted or busy with things and try to have a quiet chat with him. Just keep communicating.
I'm no marriage counsellor as having major issues of my own...but you say in your second post that he always finds something to do, play on his phone etc. I assume this only happens when he is studying as you said it was great when he had a month off school? Maybe those other things are some sort of wind down/mind numbing thing he needs to do to get his mind off his studies?
Marriage can be bloody hard. Emotional connection is something I've almost forgot about, my marriage is clinging on! I'm so exhausted with work, kids, sober, anxiety that I can't fit much else in. Maybe the studies make him feel the same, I really don't know, only he can tell you that.
Pick a moment when he seems less distracted or busy with things and try to have a quiet chat with him. Just keep communicating.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
Originally Posted by biminiblue
Winter in Tahoe can be a little bit too long, too. It's nearly over.
I get it. My ex-husband is an ex-husband because of some of the same issues. We weren't intimate for years...and he was gone for 16 hours a day, seven days a week, but if I went out after work all Hell broke loose because I wasn't there when he expected me to be. So he could call me on the phone. (Before cells.) When I started being not-available he did not like it one bit. It was fine for him. I was supposed to be sitting home every minute I wasn't at work, but he could disappear on a golf day and not show up for 24-48 hours - no explanations necessary for him. Not cool.
It is hard to be in school as a married adult, I would reckon.
I think there are always a lot of issues in a marriage and the solutions are not always so easy. Hugs to you and I hope you'll be able to find a balance for both of you.
I'm glad you shared it with us, congrats on your sober time. Keep moving forward like you've been doing so well.
I get it. My ex-husband is an ex-husband because of some of the same issues. We weren't intimate for years...and he was gone for 16 hours a day, seven days a week, but if I went out after work all Hell broke loose because I wasn't there when he expected me to be. So he could call me on the phone. (Before cells.) When I started being not-available he did not like it one bit. It was fine for him. I was supposed to be sitting home every minute I wasn't at work, but he could disappear on a golf day and not show up for 24-48 hours - no explanations necessary for him. Not cool.
It is hard to be in school as a married adult, I would reckon.
I think there are always a lot of issues in a marriage and the solutions are not always so easy. Hugs to you and I hope you'll be able to find a balance for both of you.
I'm glad you shared it with us, congrats on your sober time. Keep moving forward like you've been doing so well.
I feel like you just typed part of my current situation. Thank you for sharing!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Minnesota, USA
Posts: 1,468
162 days is amazing! I wish I had some inspiring words for you about the hubby, I am not on the best terms with my guy so finding it challenging to be positive about relationships.
I hope you get over the hump soon
I hope you get over the hump soon
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
As much as I hate to..I gotta agree with Tomsteve here. 
The guy's trying to better himself for the future..Kinda like you did when you took some 'me time' for your sobriety. Look..Y'all are married not dating.. There's 'lulls' in both at times,but support is key. If he needs this time to focus on himself..let him have it. Look at his studies,again..like you handled your sobriety. It's a lot of work. I know a 20min sign of affection here and there shouldn't be a big deal or 'hard' but sometimes it is. Especially if he's just not focused on it at the moment and his mind is elsewhere. Also...how honest/open with him have you been about your sobriety?
Edit: also at respectively 5.5mo sober you're still 'getting comfortable' with your sober self and could be magnifying and/or rushing things a bit with the 'demands' of his time. Just a thought.
The guy's trying to better himself for the future..Kinda like you did when you took some 'me time' for your sobriety. Look..Y'all are married not dating.. There's 'lulls' in both at times,but support is key. If he needs this time to focus on himself..let him have it. Look at his studies,again..like you handled your sobriety. It's a lot of work. I know a 20min sign of affection here and there shouldn't be a big deal or 'hard' but sometimes it is. Especially if he's just not focused on it at the moment and his mind is elsewhere. Also...how honest/open with him have you been about your sobriety?Edit: also at respectively 5.5mo sober you're still 'getting comfortable' with your sober self and could be magnifying and/or rushing things a bit with the 'demands' of his time. Just a thought.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 23
First of all, celebrate 162!
Ok, first, 162 days! You are amazing and do you even realize how many of us read that and immediately thought of you as a magical guru who clearly has all of the answers?
And look at you staying sober in the middle of this much kvetching! You are so strong! Remember that.
Second:
Girrrrlll...
I am an attention hog. Like, I'm basically a puppy and require food, exercise, and as much attention as my partner has to give. Every. Damn. Day.
So I get it...
BUT.
My wonderful mother in law once told me a gem, (while giving the unsolicited natural advice mother in laws do)
Each person in a marriage has to give 100% .
Not 50/50. 100. Keeping tabs on who gives what when and how much only leads to misery on both sides.
And, you must realize, you are going through this huge emotional, physical, and hormonal change right now. Your body is in the middle of doing amazing things with your new found sobriety. It is a little like being pregnant. You must understand that not all of the frustration you currently feel is coming from what you've described. You've made it this far, so by now, you must know how important it is to cut yourself a break. Be gentle with yourself. Well, be gentle with him, too.
Going through this can't be easy. Not for either of you. And if he has school obligations on top of it, surely it is extremely draining.
Instead of allowing that angry voice in your head lead you to try and have him experience loneliness, perhaps listen harder: there is a sad voice too, isn't there? Is she lonely? Perhaps, if you turn in the right direction, she can tell you what to do. Show him love. Whether that means cooking a nice dinner to have when he gets home, cleaning the whole house, making or buying his favorite dessert, planning a movie night, or anything else you might think of.
Perhaps you'll find that pushing him away does not make him want to get closer. Show him love, and likely you will get it back. ♥️
**All of this is from various personal experiences - I have a very patient and loving partner who has stuck with me while I've learned this about myself.
And look at you staying sober in the middle of this much kvetching! You are so strong! Remember that.
Second:
Girrrrlll...
I am an attention hog. Like, I'm basically a puppy and require food, exercise, and as much attention as my partner has to give. Every. Damn. Day.
So I get it...
BUT.
My wonderful mother in law once told me a gem, (while giving the unsolicited natural advice mother in laws do)
Each person in a marriage has to give 100% .
Not 50/50. 100. Keeping tabs on who gives what when and how much only leads to misery on both sides.
And, you must realize, you are going through this huge emotional, physical, and hormonal change right now. Your body is in the middle of doing amazing things with your new found sobriety. It is a little like being pregnant. You must understand that not all of the frustration you currently feel is coming from what you've described. You've made it this far, so by now, you must know how important it is to cut yourself a break. Be gentle with yourself. Well, be gentle with him, too.
Going through this can't be easy. Not for either of you. And if he has school obligations on top of it, surely it is extremely draining.
Instead of allowing that angry voice in your head lead you to try and have him experience loneliness, perhaps listen harder: there is a sad voice too, isn't there? Is she lonely? Perhaps, if you turn in the right direction, she can tell you what to do. Show him love. Whether that means cooking a nice dinner to have when he gets home, cleaning the whole house, making or buying his favorite dessert, planning a movie night, or anything else you might think of.
Perhaps you'll find that pushing him away does not make him want to get closer. Show him love, and likely you will get it back. ♥️
**All of this is from various personal experiences - I have a very patient and loving partner who has stuck with me while I've learned this about myself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 42
So sorry for your temporary relationship issue. That is the way I always look at it anyways whenever I have some tiff with my wife.
On my sixth sober day (so greatly admire you) and have been in huge fights with my wife. I am wondering at some level if the alcohol is being substituted by relationship issues for me? Or did the alcohol just mask it?
A wise friend told me "just love your wife" (or in your case husband) and things always turn out. Another friend said love myself. Working hard on doing that so I can love her more.
Good luck with it.
On my sixth sober day (so greatly admire you) and have been in huge fights with my wife. I am wondering at some level if the alcohol is being substituted by relationship issues for me? Or did the alcohol just mask it?
A wise friend told me "just love your wife" (or in your case husband) and things always turn out. Another friend said love myself. Working hard on doing that so I can love her more.
Good luck with it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by AshleyB
I know first hand how frustrating school can be ..BEEN THERE..I'm not asking for all of his time..I'm asking for 10 damn minutes. I'm the least self-centered person and always put everyone before myself. All I am asking for is the maintenance of connection. It's not all about SEX obviously...but when it becomes non-existent it then becomes a problem.
If he's not studying and is all caught up he then finds SOMETHING to work on JUST because. If he can take 20 minutes to play a game on his phone he can take the TIME for his wife. I always make time for him BUSY OR NOT! It's no excuse. I'm not hard to please..I find comfort in the LITTLE THINGS...Also he gets mad at me when I want to go out for a little bit...WHILE he is studying so I can have some interaction with family/friends...Like i'm at fault for wanting that...when he isn't talking to me or bothering with me. He just wants me THERE just to be there..yet not talk or awknowledge my existence .it's not like I go out all the time anyway...but when I want to he makes me feel guilty..even if it is for a couple hours just to get fresh air AWAYYYYYYYY from the house we are constantly bound in.
If he's not studying and is all caught up he then finds SOMETHING to work on JUST because. If he can take 20 minutes to play a game on his phone he can take the TIME for his wife. I always make time for him BUSY OR NOT! It's no excuse. I'm not hard to please..I find comfort in the LITTLE THINGS...Also he gets mad at me when I want to go out for a little bit...WHILE he is studying so I can have some interaction with family/friends...Like i'm at fault for wanting that...when he isn't talking to me or bothering with me. He just wants me THERE just to be there..yet not talk or awknowledge my existence .it's not like I go out all the time anyway...but when I want to he makes me feel guilty..even if it is for a couple hours just to get fresh air AWAYYYYYYYY from the house we are constantly bound in.
I think you are throwing a fit. I can say that because I too have thrown fits. Take a deep breath. Perhaps the situation is temporary. Maybe it is not temporary.
Your needs are not being met and that is the one thing I get from these postings of yours. Your needs are not being met.
How can your needs be met? What is it that you need? Talk with your spouse about your needs in a calm manner. Communicate.
When I think about most problems that I have regarding people or my spouse it is all about the communication and not "hearing" each other.
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
Originally Posted by aboveangel1967
So sorry for your temporary relationship issue. That is the way I always look at it anyways whenever I have some tiff with my wife.
On my sixth sober day (so greatly admire you) and have been in huge fights with my wife. I am wondering at some level if the alcohol is being substituted by relationship issues for me? Or did the alcohol just mask it?
A wise friend told me "just love your wife" (or in your case husband) and things always turn out. Another friend said love myself. Working hard on doing that so I can love her more.
Good luck with it.
On my sixth sober day (so greatly admire you) and have been in huge fights with my wife. I am wondering at some level if the alcohol is being substituted by relationship issues for me? Or did the alcohol just mask it?
A wise friend told me "just love your wife" (or in your case husband) and things always turn out. Another friend said love myself. Working hard on doing that so I can love her more.
Good luck with it.
In my case my drinking was masking 'our issues'..She was also a heavy drinker and once I got sober/felt sober 6mo? I started to see the 'cracks'..not that I hadn't seen them before,but I drank(duct taped the issues). My advice..relax..be polite and understanding and 'wade' through your thoughts. Journal. Buy her a journal and decent pen. If she journals...cool. If not..well,that's her choice. Just be the best YOU. Congrats on 6days!
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