Pete6256

I slept terribly again last night, I woke up at 5am covered in rancid, ice cold withdrawal sweat. I managed to get myself somewhat together and go do some grocery shopping today, but that’s about the extent of my activity. I’ve been languishing in my pyjamas all afternoon in a largely depressed vegetative state watching nascar. I don’t even ******* like nascar but I can’t be arsed changing the channel. Only now have I mustered up the energy to post on SR.

I honestly don’t think I’ve ever felt this alone in my entire 32 yr old life. I don’t have any family in this country and frankly not many friends either, it’s really depressing I don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m just gonna have to keep fighting on alone and hope things start to get better.

Sorry for the rambling bollocks, just needed to vent.

tomsteve

good to see ya here,Pete.
ya know, if your in toronto, theres a LOT of AA meetings you could attend. you dont have to fight alone- theres people in toronto that have been where you are and willing to help and support
https://www.aatoronto.org/meetings/

Dee74

Hi Pete

the first weeks are hard - lots of mood swings - but you're one week away from where you were

It may not be flesh and blood support but SR is with you every step of the way Pete - on to week 2

D

Pete6256

Thanks Dee, that means a lot.

Tom, I’m actually waiting for the addictions specialist at my local hospital to call me back. Been waiting a couple of weeks now, hopefully they will soon.

Komplex

Hey Pete!! Just saying hi, reminding you that you’re not alone. Hang in there!!

Jake14

Keep your head up Pete...

Your moving in the right direction.. I am 7 days my self today let’s keep it rolling

Rar

How are you doing today Pete?

Finalround

Pete, try another number or addiction specialists. Not positive, but call for help with addiction shouldn't be put on hold.
Rooting for you.

ProfessorD

Pete, my heart goes out to you. Keep talking here! Come join us and share your experience in the February thread. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely now, but the more sobriety you gain the easier it will be to change other areas of your life, make friends, etc. The gains are exponential if you can stick it out. And you can!

hpdw

Hi Pete I feel your pain ,I know that gut wrenching depressed foggy heavy feeling only too well and so do most of us on this site .
I don't know where you stand with a higher power as talked about often in alcoholism circles especially AA , it can be God or the Universe or whatever you want it to be , just something you can ask for help in those loneliest dark moments ,some call it praying some call it meditating .
I guarantee you this though, you will get better each day and the days will amount to weeks .
In the very early days I couldn't be bothered washing my face never mind having a bath but I forced myself to do things and as the days went by I improved . My eating returned but it took a bit longer for the moods to level out .
Keep going ,its so worth it .

readyt0change

hang in there man.

i'm a fellow torontonian as well!

elnotcho

It's tough. I've been getting sober the hard way. Stopping and slipping back. But with each time it has been a longer time in sobriety. At first, it was could I function, would I die without alcohol? I know that I won't die without alcohol and I have felt great in my sober weeks. There is no magic wand. It takes work. Screwing up from time to time is part of it. You'll get there if you want it enough.

Pete6256

Thanks everyone.

Readytochange, do you happen to have any experience with addiction doctors or specialists in TO? I’m waiting for the department at North York general to phone me back.

thomas11

Good on you for continuing the good fight, it will be worth it. Early days are tough man, no doubt about it. Being alone I'm sure adds to the degree of difficulty. Look at this way, you can start to rebuild your life right now from the ground up. And it will be a great life. You're young Pete.

YoungMIA

I was just there, Pete. Every week gets better; unfortunately, healing with the brain isn't always linear, so there will be some good days and bad days. But soon, the good days will outnumber the bad! Best of luck, friend.

Rar

Hang in there Pete. Every craving you conquer makes you stronger. As Young says, the cravings will become weaker and weaker and come farther apart. I'm rooting for you.

MidnightRider

Hey Pete - How'ya doing this morn?

Day 3? Hope you are starting to feel better!

16YearsDrunk

Hey Pete. 7 days is pretty damned good! Well done. It does get easier and you will start to feel better. It's a long road. After a couple of weeks your mood and spirit should start to improve.

Find a new hobby. Something you've always wanted to do. And just spend your free time doing that. I find going for walks really helps.