anxiousrock

Went to a meeting last night. Second one since moving to a new city.
The chair was (and I feel bad saying this), terrible. Mumbling. Could not hear a WORD they said and I was only sitting one row back. The others had no chance of hearing.
They were so haggard. Looked not a day clean and sober. Didn’t take their hood off so couldn’t even see them.
I hate to be judgemental, but shouldn’t you at least make an effort and be a bit sober to chair an AA meeting? Am I over thinking this?

August252015

I've been to a lot of meetings and yeah, some like you describe. I always have varying thoughts. I try to bring my thoughts back to things like maybe the fact that I am there is a service to them. That maybe it's the only safe place where someone who's perhaps homeless isn't drinking or going to get arrested (or kicked out unless something crazy happens)....that sort of stuff that flips my thoughts from being about me to being about others.

I appreciate my home group meetings and other pleasant, diverse, well run meetings even more if I happen on one of this type sometime.

saoutchik

I have been to a meeting where some attendees when to the pub afterwards but not the person or persons taking the meeting, I would give it one more go to see if that was an abberation or not. If not then I hope you can find another meeting that is accessible.

aasharon90

There were times i didn't hear everything
I wanted to hear at my meetings, but, I did
hear things I needed to hear to take home
with me and apply to my own life in recovery.

I took what I needed and left the rest
till i went to another meeting and remembered
to not take anothers inventory because I
had no idea what exactly was going on
with them that day or in their own personal
journey in life.

lessgravity

I've been to similar meetings. Or ones where the sharer's story is so poorly told or out of wack or unrelatable.

But I'm not there for a perfect experience. And I don't expect anyone there to be anything other than trying to be better. I take what I can - even the frustration or exasperation or sadness - and I let it work for me.

tomsteve

the pamplet,"The A.A. Group" says
Chairperson: Group chairpersons serve for a
specified period of time (usually six months to a
year). Experience suggests that they should have
been sober awhile, at least a year; and, ideally, they
have held other group offices first.

there are times the chairperson may not be able to make a meeting and someone fills in. sometimes that someone is just someone that is at the meeting that has been there before and they volunteer.

however, each group is autonomous=self governing. some groups arent the best at this. some are. i think you'll learn which ones are and arent as ya attend different meetings.

Lookingforchange

If your gut instincts say this isn’t right I’d find a different group. I love my AA group-were all abut nuts but all clean and sober. X

DontRemember

I've shown up at early morning AA meetings with a hoodie over my head. I always take it down when I share though. As for the Chairperson: well..maybe that's the only person that offered up for the position? When I was out of town there was a verbal altercation during a meeting,I had obviously never been to before, between two women over their "roles".. I was laughing myself,but can see how it'd turn off a newcomer. Just keep in mind that most people at a meeting have a lot more going on mentally/life than just 'not drinking'. I've met guys 40yrs sober,but they're crazy as hell!

anxiousrock

I was just upset they didn’t speak up or clear. The first meeting there was a different chair and it was good. Will be going back again tonight and hoping it’s an improvement.
It didn’t help that half way through the reading they said “do I have to read it all?”
They didn’t even try to finish the reading .

DontRemember

Yeah.. try a few meetings out,even other locations. My, I guess, main(haven't been in a while) place is VERY lax and I like it. They don't go through the traditions,promises,whatever before the meeting. The one that I went to when I was out of town did and it seemed to take up a lot of time. I asked a guy there after if they do that every meeting and he said they did. Seemed silly to me.

anxiousrock

Most of the meetings I’ve been to always go through all the traditions etc before the meetings and then do a reading (ex. Step 8). Then we discuss step 8 as it relates to your life.

AnvilheadII

have you volunteered to do any of the readings? at the meetings in my part of world, the chair asks people as they arrive if they would like to take a reading......

at least the person chairing was a) AT a meeting b) at least trying to do some service work. remember WHY people are there......it's not a Toastmaster's meeting........

bradly22

That's an odd one. Sadly, anyone is likely to see a lot of strange things at aa meetings.

nez

Yes I should. Beyond that, I try to stay away from what I think other people should or shouldn't do because it never seems to lead me to serenity. Usually the opposite occurs.

AAPJ

Considering that all AA meetings are run by a bunch of x-drunks it's really a miracle that most meetings are actually pretty darn good.

Yes there are occasional bad leads/meetings. but they are the exception - at least in my experience. I just keep looking.

anxiousrock

I can’t chair as I have not been sober long enough and I just moved to this city and have only been to 3 meetings so not read yet.

Berrybean

Mumbling isn't only caused by being drunk or hungover.

Just sounds like he was incredibly anxious and probably just standing in.

You know, I know at least two people who actually learned to read through being AA. Reading aloud is something those two guys force themselves to do as an act of gratitude and to improve their skills, but it doesn't come easy to them.

I also know a guy at pne meeting I go to who mumbles and stutters because he had a stroke. I am happy to be part of a group who listens patiently as he reads, sometimes slowly and stumbling, other days he's on a roll and kinda speeds up, I think in hopes he can get through it before getting struck with a verbal freeze and getting stuck on a word. I think reading aloud is a special challenge for him, and when hes done he often laughs with relief. It's this kind of love and tolerance are what make the rooms special for me on an ongoing basis.

BB

DontRemember

Dave42001

I’ve seen it happen many times. There’s a guy at my club named Kelly, he’s got 8-9 years sober but he just speaks very soft..

If the chair person is sitting at a table I’d go sit next to him maybe. Also I don’t think it would be rude if you raised your hand and said you’re having problems hearing him..

At my club you can chair a meeting after 90 days.. put your name on the board and chair a meeting.. go in early and sit in the chair persons chair..

I’ve been in meetings and said to myself this meeting is going to stink, and it turns out to be a great meeting.. good luck and keep going back!!

DontRemember

I'm not sure what our 'chair' timframe is,but I've been asked to do it for the 'newcomers meeting' and I just don't feel comfortable. Maybe in a couple years,but not now. I'm still figuring how this sober thing works.
I do give major props to those that chair,sponsor,whatever..I can't even fathom that kind of service right now.