Baillie35

Hi all I'm fairly new to trying to stop all this shite ... it's either stop and possibly be miserable or keep going and be suicidal ... tough choice but since I have a 4 year old son who adores the bones of me I need to try this I recently made 40 days clean and sober then celebrated with a weekend drinking sniffing and gambling then thought about ending it for 7 days to then feel better and start again !!!! I now need to end this cycle I'm sure many of you have been here now please as like said teach me master how to end this hell !!!!!

VikingGF

Welcome, Baillie35! Isn't it crazy that we stop and then "reward" ourselves by going back to the thing we were stopping so we could feel better? This place will help you get your head on straight and stay on the road to recovery for your 4-year-old.

So glad you joined us- read and post as much as you like- you'll find plenty of sound advice and true warmth here.

Mizzuno

Ive been in and out of sobriety for more than a decade. After 10 plus months of being sober, with the help of this forum only, I relapsed. I could give you a million reasons why I relapsed but they all would be excuses. I am an alcoholic. I resorted to alcohol. Nothing more needs to be said.

I have decided that my way is not the road that will get me to the place I long to be. My way is not enough. Ive proven that time and again. I need more tools and more f2f support. People have suggested that I read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and so I have started on that road.

Whatever it is that you think you may need to stop the cycle go for it.
Read on here. Post on here. Join a group. Listen to others. Ride the wave. Keep moving forward.

You can get sober.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope our wisdom and support can help you get sober for good.

Anna

The cycle is exhausting.

When you make the decision that alcohol is not an option, ever, your mind will begin to shift and you will come up with healthy ways to deal with life.

We're here for you.

Zanna

I'm tired as well - it's 2am in the UK and I'm awake treating a Diabetic Hypo.
I didn't give up drinking quite soon enough - I had quit for a month and then they found i needed insulin to survive. i almost died.
Don't be an idiot like I was - I only drank at weekends and still wrecked my pancreas.
Stay quit while you have your full health

CaliButterfly

Giving up drinking or drugs is never an easy choice for addicts. We project into the future how miserable we will be without it and can't imagine how life could be enjoyable sober. And then when we try and relapse, we beat ourselves up over not succeeding over something we want but doesn't seem attainable. And the cycle continues until we either give up on ourselves or decide enough is enough and use all the resources we can find to finally get where we want to be. Most of us can attest to the fact that a life sober is so much more meaningful and enjoyable. Now, how to get there? SR is a great place for support, advice, and encouragement. You can try AA, Rational Recovery, SMART, for guidance. Finding distractions that you enjoy helps with forgetting cravings because your focus is elsewhere. Think about what kind of life you want for your son and how much better you will be able to care for him. He needs you. Please continue trying, you can do this.

Hevyn

Stay with us, Baillie - you are never alone. We have plenty of encouragement to offer. Glad you are here.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Baillie

the support here helped me end the endless cycle of quitting and drinking again. I know we can help you too

D

Berrybean

Glad you're here and posting.

Sobriety CAN be made sustainable, then comfortable, then preferable to drinking. It does take time though, as we need to learn new and better ways of dealing with things. This learning is part of Recovery. Just removing the drink is whiteknucking and this is no way to live (as you've found out).

Getting support from others who understand me (here and at AA) was massively important to me, and working on a program of recovery allowed me to be saved from my own 'hell' . To all extents and purposes my life wouldn't look so different. Same job, same partner, same old face etc. But on the inside it's like a different experience altogether. In AA there are what they call The Promises. J just admit that I never really believed it was possible for those to come true, but almost 4 years down the line and yes, they have come true. Recovery can be pretty amazing in the longer term.

In the short term, chances are it's gonna feel like a rough ride at times. But you know, there is never gonna be a day that you wake us and that is the time it's gonna be easy. There is no perfect time to get sober, apart from ASAP. Because this thing is progressive. It gets worse and worse, like a tide slowly creeping in, or the moon changing from a new sliver to a big fat ball. We don't notice it happening, but it does happen. Please, resolve to sit with the discomfort of early sobriety and work for that long term recovery that can be so amazing.

And if that's not enough to convince you, perhaps look at the laundry list on the ACoA (adult children of alcoholics) website or the Friends and Family area here and see the long term damage that can come from growing up with someone who is an active alcoholic as a parent or being a partner to one. I warn you though, its not pretty reading.

I wish you all the best for your sobriety and your recovery.
BB

PeacefulWater12

Welcome.

I was also caught up in that endless, exhausting, soul destroying cycle. I found that having the support of other drinkers helped me a lot.

CreativeThinker

Baillie- I'm sorry to see that you are struggling. It's not uncommon in the early days of recovery. Many of us have made several attempts at a successful recovery and failed. 40 days of sobriety is great! Every time I failed it took me years to try again. Don't be like me and waste years before figuring out what made you fall back into the rabbit hole. Coming back to SR and admitting what happened is the first step. Listening to the advise from those who have found their way out of the hell is the next. You can do this...as long as you want it more than anything else.

Hang in there!
CT

thomas11

Many of us have utilized this forum to return to a life of sanity and normalcy. I don't see why you can't as well. Wish you the best.