Dazza40

....,,,,, This is what my wife said to me earlier after a stressful day for both of us. Now she doesn’t drink that much but lately I have been craving wine and even told her I felt like getting plastered this afternoon. So of course I said “no course not” when in my selfish mind all I wanted to say was “ffs you do a glass then give me the bottle because I am bored of this s**t now”.... I know it is my issue and as a binge drinker I can go without but 78 days is becoming a drag and it’s making me agitated. My wife is a wonderful person and wants to go to a party tomorrow night and I don’t want to because right now I feel vulnerable and to be honest just want to drink myself into oblivion. I read the advice, do loads more exercise and swimming and I am riding the craving wave but I can’t help feeling it’s turning into a tsunami and I either fall into the depths or hide away until it passes.

Anna

Welcome Dazzo!

I'm glad you posted about your concerns. 78 days is fantastic!

It's hard for others to understand alcoholism, so it's good that you have come here to post. If your wife is drinking, is it possible for you to be elsewhere in the house so you aren't around it?

I couldn't be around alcohol and people drinking for many months, so didn't do that kind of socializing. If you are feeling vulnerable, don't go to the party. It's important for you to do whatever it takes to keep the recovery going.

Dazza40

Thanks Anna,

I am actually upstairs mardy and don’t want to make anyone else so I have removed myself. My wife doesn’t understand alcoholism and has said so and it doesn’t help the situation. I have been selfish over the years and am really trying to change but you are right .... the party just isn’t right so I guess I won’t go

Mizzuno

In the early stages it is very important to take care of ourselves and honor our needs. I would not of been able to go to a party or socialize around alcohol in the beginning.

The agitation you are feeling is of concern. A lot of people feel this and some people dont make it past the discomfort before relapsing. Please take care of you and keep yourself out of harms way.

Dazza40

Upto a few days ago I was doing fine and it seems to have grabbed me all of a sudden. I also have a business trip coming up to Germany which I think is playing on my mind. Last time I went on a 3 day bender and turned up at home drunk, had a row in front the children and stormed to the pub (where I hardly went) buying wine on the way.... I simply cannot afford that to happen again

soberista

“All what we are is the result of what we have thought. We are formed and moulded by our thoughts” The Buddha

It follows that what we shall be tomorrow is shaped by what we think today. Don’t try to control the future…work on the one thing you can learn to control: your own responses.

We say that we think our thoughts, but it would be more accurate to say that our thoughts think us.

The mind is very much like a television set with no controls, which goes on when the mood strikes it and shows whatever it pleases.

Imagine that you are sitting in your living room, listening to little Joey telling you about his basketball game, when suddenly the TV switches on. “Here, “ it commends. “Watch me!” You say “Yes, sir” You don’t like the program, and you don’t really want to look at TV when Joey is trying to talk to you. But the TV has caught your attention. The set says “I feel like showing this now, so you sit back and watch” And while Joey goes on, you look at him occasionally and say “Uh-huh”, but you’re not really there; you mind is on the TV. Then, abruptly, the set announces, “That’s it for now” And despite your please, it turns itself off. Most of us, if we had a set like this, would think we were caught in a science fiction movie. But this is exactly what the mind does. It puts on any show it likes and that is what we have to think; it switches channels when it likes and that is what we have to accept. “I can tell my hand what to do,” Augustine once observed, “and it obeys. Why can’t I do the same with my mind?”

Conquest of Mind Eknath Easwaran

MindfulMan

You might voice some of your concerns to your wife, and that for now you really can’t be around alcohol. You kind of have to spell things out for non addicts, as they really have no personal experience to relate to.

Dazza40

I know it needs spelling out you’re right. It just emphasises that I have a drink problem and it’s not easy to beat.... but beat I must

Boxer1

Nothing wrong with hiding away in times like this Dazza, smart thinking!!

soberista

How are you getting on Dazza

Berrybean

Dazza, I remember using exactly the same words to describe my feelings before starting to work on a program of recovery. You know, restless, irritable and discontent is the standard state of an alcoholic who is sober but not working a program of recovery. How about doing a Google search and hitting a meeting. It will honestly me a massive relief to be among folk who understand how you're feeling. The strength and hope that can be gained from being with other folk who are in recovery and listening to them sharing their experiences of what it was like for them, what happened and what its like now really is difficult to believe til we've experienced it. No need for playing things down, or being 'nice 'about the stuff that really bothers us. Also, if you've been to some meetings locally then you might feel brave enough to access some English speaking ones when away on business trips.

BB

dcg

I had five months and when the **** hit the fan, I felt this way, too, and I W gaf'd it (Who Gives A ****) for a night. Got so hammered I couldn't even eat (still drank a bit less than I was accustomed to drinking each night) and passed out on the couch. Mission accomplished.

That next morning was like, "Holy ****, I can't believe I used to wake up every morning like this" and I mustered up the ability to walk to the bathroom to whizz. After doing #1, I got super nauseous and vomited bile since there was nothing in my stomach to retch up. Nice pleasant bile taste.

By that evening, it was time to tie a "few" on. I might as well round out the weekend and get back on the wagon the next day, but habituation took over. 30 year habits don't die that easily and new habits aren't formed and cemented to replace old ones after only 5 months, so...

And that went on every day for the next 2 years. What a difference a day makes.

Dazza40

A day does make all the difference and proves that if you ride it out you will feel better. Thanks for the positive messages. Still not decided on the party but whatever I am determined not to drink.... in fact I know I can go and not drink but not sure how it will make me feel drinking lime and soda!!

Zanna

Dazza - if you were on a diet, could you go spend 3-4 hours sitting in a cake shop?
you'll know when it's 'safe' for you to resume going to parties