Starsabove32

Hi

I'm going on holiday abroad soon with my partner. I am used to early morning rises for my work, and for the past four months I am trying to adjust to an alcohol free life. I have twice drank in this time (2 nights out), but soon got myself back on the straight and narrow and wish to continue that way. I have started loads of new activities and am enjoying them. However, I am constantly battling emotions of irritability and anger... Often at the simplest of things.

My partner on the other hand works in a bar and is used to late nights, and continues to drink and smoke.

We are away abroad for a week now on Monday. I'm slightly anxious at our differing body clocks... Like if he decides he can't sleep at night and wants to go out for beers, and I am left alone in the apartment :/ I am probably looking at biggest fears. Of course, I've discussed this with him and he said he won't. But I'm still anxious it will happen. I'm anxious as every other holiday has purely been alcohol related.

He said he will smoke weed, as he has found somewhere that does this. That still leaves me sober, with someone inebriated. I guess I'm worried I will give in and join. Or I'll be abandoned for alcohol. Or I'll be lumbered with someone drunk for most of the holiday.

Confused and fed up... And stressing about things that may never happen 🤔🤔

comtnman740

Hi starsabove 32,
I can understand your frustration. I have vacationed early on in sobriety and it can be daunting but it is possible. I know for me i had to take each 24 as it came and stay in present. It's easy to look beyond "this 24" hours but i found that it only can cause fear. Do you have a plan? Are there meetings where your going? One thing that it took me along time to understand is that i have to put my recovery above everything else. If i lose my recovery and drink i'll lose everything else. Hope what i said helped!
Garrison

Starsabove32

Hey thank you! I constantly look into and worry about the future. I often forget to take one day at a time, so thank you. It is much less daunting to think of it in that way 😍

I have recently went back to group support this week. I'm very glad I did! It is lovely. I will stick at it when I come back from holidays.

For now I will concentrate on not getting overwhelmed 😁 one day at a time 😁

Flinders39

I completely agree with Garrison and know exactly how you feel. I stopped drinking on July 17th, 2017 and spent my birthday in Mexico that October (alcohol-free). I won’t lie to you — it was hard especially because my husband and everyone else around me was drinking. I brought books to keep my mind busy and focused on how beautiful it was. In December my husband and I spent a month in Europe - somehow I remained to completely refrain again. I had a great time, but I thought about drinking every single day - especially when I saw people having wine and booze in the streets on New Year’s Eve in Zurich.

For me it just wasn’t worth it.

It scares the hell out of me that I will have go back to “day one.” Plus, I’m truly enraged about what alcohol has cost me (how it’s made me repeatedly humiliate myself) — but more importantly what it could cost me if I pick up again.

Use this place (SR) it really holds you accountable. Best of luck.

Starsabove32

Yes, I find here helps a lot. I had a weekend away before booze free and I was the only one not drinking, I survived that. So I'm sure I can survive this 🙃 Planning some day activities, relaxation and photography whilst away. That will take up a lot of time 🙃🙃

Nonsensical

Worry is almost as big a thief as addiction.
It pretends to be necessary, but it isn't.

I like how you're visualizing your holiday sober. Getting your mind accustomed to thoughts in advance is the secret sauce. You're on your way to a GREAT holiday! Enjoy!

Berrybean

If your partner decides to head to the bar in the evening it needn't be the end of the world. You don't need to be joined at the hip to enjoy a holiday together. Just plan ahead and make sure you have all that you need to enjoy your evening. Maybe some pampering stuff, books (or in my case a kindle), hopefully internet access so you can read and post here regularly, and you could also listen in to some of the AA speaker recordings. Maybe even look up AA meetings in the area you'll be visiting, even if you're not a regular attender at meetings back home. You'll be welcomed regardless. Chances are you will meet other holiday makers who are in recovery and they might be great holiday friends to make.

And if he gets drunk and you don't like that, well it's still no reason to drink yourself. Drinking changes nothing and solves nothing. There is no reason good or bad enough to justify taking a drink.

BB

Starsabove32

I did it. No alcohol all holiday and it was the best holiday. First time i have returned refreshed and renewed 🤩🤩🤩🤩

Pulaski

Well done Starsabove, very pleased for you. I'm about 2 months sober and I'm going next week for 2 weeks; I too get up very early for work but she's not far behind. She drinks, but not much and I'm now happy with a soft drink or two. It'll be quite an active holiday so lots to do. Two weeks in the sunshine has got to be better than the weather here at the moment.

anxiousrock

You still need to live your life .
Go on your vacation and take it one day at a time, you'll be okay!

Dee74

I'm so glad you had a good sober holiday starsabove

D