newhope01

As my title indicates, my husband wants me to tell my new psychiatrist about my alcoholism. Or well rather he wants to call her and tell her himself. He wants to tell her I was in rehab for it and that it is destroying our marriage.

I originally told him no because I think that is better suited for my therapist. I don't see how disclosing my alcoholism to my psychiatrist will help our marriage.

But then I thought maybe there are better anti-depressants for people who suffer from alcoholism specifically and I should tell her. I am on the same meds that I was in rehab but maybe she knows something better.

I've been three days sober and am taking current medications as prescribed.

I have a feeling that letting my husband tell my psychiatrist about my alcoholism won't make things better between us. More, like he will just get some vindication that will last only temporarily and yet I will have another invasion of privacy.

Nonsensical

It might mean that.

It might also mean he wants you to get the best care possible.

I'll bet it's difficult for the people who care about us watch us be more concerned about our privacy than getting the best care possible. I would have given up on me long ago. Glad my wife didn't!

Best of Luck on Your Journey!

saoutchik

If you have a psychiatrist then it should be a confidential relationship between you and him or her so that you have control over what information you wish to share. I would not think third party involvement would be welcomed, however close.

Congratulations on 3 days and good luck newhope.

MindfulMan

That's your choice. However, sharing your addiction with your psychiatrist yourself is a very good idea. Substance abuse is part of your issues, they need to know about it and it will definitely affect what they prescribe.

ScottFromWI

Congrats on 3 days NewHope. Sounds like you've got 2 separate issues going on here. Regarding your relationship with your healthcare providers, I personally feel that it's always best to be completely honest and share all information about my health with them. Regarding the relationship with your husband, sounds like you have some trust issues going on - and that's very common with addicts and their SO's. I'm over 5 years sober and I'm still trying to repair the relationship/trust issues with my family. Certainly things are much better now but it takes time.

ChloeRose63

This is sound advice.

totfit

Your husband should stay out of it, but you should tell your Psychiatrist. It is very relevant to any medication you may be taking and he or she might even be able to help with the alcohol issue. Alcoholism or rather active alcoholism most definitely has a bearing on how a medication works for you and their may be contraindications.

AnvilheadII

i don't see how NOT telling your therapist that you are very recently sober and on medication would be at all beneficial to the therapeutic environment. that's kind of a big ole elephant in the room.....

newhope01

He wants to talk to my psychiatrist not therapist.

AnvilheadII

same diff.......why would YOU want to keep secrets from your therapist or psychiatrist? how would that HELP you????

gettingsmarter

Why keep it from your psychiatrist?

dcg

Psychiatrists only deal with therapy issues to the extent of determining which meds to prescribe. That said, being an alcoholic is a pretty significant medical condition that a doctor responsible for prescribing medications should be aware of, imo.

wehav2day

Hi newhope, congrats on3 days!!

When I was newly sober, I hesitated to tell people, including professionals wanting to help me, that I was an alcoholic. Part of it was the stigma and all the junk that came with it. But when I got completely honest, I had to admit it was because part of me wanted to keep that to myself so the door back to drinking was cracked open just a bit.

I think telling the person prescribing the medicine designed to help your mental health that you are an alcoholic is a must, really. It’s more than just wondering iif a different med will be more effective, it’s about understanding medically what’s actually going on in your brain.

taketwo

Yes, this early in the game that knowledge is key to proper differential diagnosis (since mental health issues can be created or exacerbated by alcohol and substance abuse). It's also important in determining how your liver may be metabolizing prescriptions and how your body may be up-taking them. Some prescriptions, including some antidepressants, mood stabilizers, and antipsychotiocs, are tough on the liver and can be dangerous to an already strained liver.

Conversely other drugs may not be effective at typical doses due to cross-tolerance (e.g., heavy drinking can result in a cross-tolerance with anti-anxiety meds). There may be considerations to avoid/favor certain classes of drugs for treating things like depression based on the neurotransmitter pathways they effect (in relation to those used by alcohol). There may be increased concern for potential medication dependence.

I am wary of telling a general practitioner, unless needing help detoxing, but I'd tell a psychiatrist if actively abusing or recently abstaining as it's so relevant to their decisions. After, say half-a-year out from abusing alcohol I would probably keep it to myself.

But also, yeah, not your husband's territory.

Mizzuno

There is no reason to not tell your psychiatrist that you are having issues with alcohol. Lay it all out on the table. That is why you are paying this person, yes?

As for your husband, he sounds very concerned and wants the alcoholism issue to be addressed. I dont blame him. That being said, it is patient/ doctor confidentiality and I dont know where all that comes in to play.

There is no reason to be scared. Addressing this monster is the best thing you can do.

August252015

Imma be blunt because this is a BIG DEAL.

YOU absolutely need to tell your psych. YOU.

Unless you are seeing the therapist together, he should not be talking to her - AND she should absolutely not be getting info from him.

I believe it is CRITICAL that a psychologist or psychiatrist of any kind knows everything you know (ie. you know you are an alcoholic- you might not now of a dx the dr would make, for example).

Meds are also crucial to be prescribed correctly- with ALL possible info your dr could have.

I feel really strongly- take care of YOU.

Mango blast

Hi newhope,

Congrats on your sobriety.

My husband is alcoholic. I have my own issues in this family disease of alcoholism that requires it's own support system.

Yesterday we had a great example of me butting into his life where I'm not needed and his playful tit-for-tat response quickly put a good perspective to things.

Perhaps have an Alanon meeting list to hand off to your husband. What he does with it is up to him.

Mango

Forward12

You really need to tell your psychiatrist about your alcoholism. Keeping it a secret isn't doing anything but hurting yourself. Mixing mental health medications with alcohol can have severe adverse reactions.
Not to mention, once you do let them know, they can get you on proper alcoholism related medication if they see fit.

Berrybean

If you're not telling the people trying to help you this, what ARE you telling them?

I only ask because my first run at getting help didn't work. Of course, I blamed the people caring for me. But actually I wasn't honest with anyone. I was too scared to tell them about the (what I perceived to be) negative and imperfect parts of me as I was so scared of being thought badly of. I realised a month or so in that I was dreading appointments because I couldn't rightly remember what bits I'd told and what I hadn't. I was trying to control those people. Only out of fear rather than for any specific gain, but it really didn't help them to help me. And boy did I need some help!

Nowadays I still sometimes forget what I did /didn't already tell my counsellor or sponsor or doc. But that doesn't have any power over me any more. Whatever I told them was the truth, and I'd have told them whatever came to mind at the time. That means I can be helped by my counsellor better.

Why do you think that you don't want to tell them?

BB

newhope01

He does not like alanon, but I did try to offer that option as an outlet for him.